350: Owning your story - Betsy Pake

350: Owning your story


In this episode of the Art of Living Big podcast, host Betsy Pake shares her chaotic experiences of moving homes and the unexpected challenges she faced. Despite the frustrations, she emphasizes the power of controlling our reactions and emotions. Using her expertise in NLP, she illustrates how understanding the narratives behind our emotions can shape our experiences. Betsy invites listeners to seek their stories within struggles, encouraging them to maintain joy even in hardship, and offers her support to those wishing to do the same.

Watch the free training here: https://betsypake.com/livebig/


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Alright, so I’m actually recording this on Thursday, typically, you get it on Thursday, which you will get it on Thursday, but I am just recording it. And that is because I just found my microphone, along with a laundry list of other things that have been happening. So I suspect this is going to be a really short episode. But I didn’t want to skip another episode I missed last week, which I if you’ve been here for a long time, you know, I rarely do.

And the past three weeks have just been wild. It’s just been wild. You know,

I closed on my house in mid May. And shortly after that, I got a leak in my apartment. So in my last episode, I talked about that leak and everything that happened.

You know, but in all of that I had to move everything out of my bedroom. So I’ve been living out of boxes and stuff for like, close to a month now. And I was sleeping on the couch. And like just all the things fighting with the apartment, it was giving me so much anxiety because I just I just like people to do the right thing. And it was, it was just such a strange experience. Honestly,

I did end up finally getting some closure to that. And we decided, you know, to move on, we came to an agreement, and we decided to move on and just let it go.

I mean, we came to an agreement, we didn’t just let it go. But we didn’t fight anymore, you know. And so then we came to our, to our house, the sellers. Were moving out on Thursday, but they had issues with their movers. So it was really Friday, which we were planning on coming in on Friday and doing some stuff. But that was kind of pushed back. And then Saturday, I met a cleaner at the house. So this is like the update since the last time you heard a podcast.

So I met this cleaning lady at the house that was doing a deep cleaning. And she was amazing. I mean, I think it took her like 10 or 11 hours. And she just cleaned every surface of everything. But when we walked in the house, I was like, what, what is that? What’s that smell.

And she was like, I don’t know what that is. And then as I got close to one of the bedrooms, like two feet from the door, I could it was just pee pee smell.

And when we came for the open house, they had rugs on top of their rugs. And I thought that was funny. But then also, you know, people’s style is different, I don’t know. So I’m not sure if that was an effort to keep the smell down. Or if they put their dog in here when they were moving out the dog was paying, I don’t know.

But I know that this one room in particular was like so bad. But then if we were going to change the carpet in one room, the other carpets weren’t great. And so we were like, oh my god, we have to change these carpets out. But we also have to be out of our apartment, like I can’t wait. And we had to be moved out of our apartment and closed up by Monday. So that Saturday, so I’m like, I’m not gonna be able to get anybody to come here and change carpet out. I mean, y’all, I could tell you so many stories that you that wouldn’t, that might entertain you now help you in any other way. But we

we had to move everything in, but we kept basically the bedroom stuff in the garage so that we could get the carpet replaced. And then we had someone come from a national chain to give us a quote. And when he was here, he was like, you could do it, I could do it through this company. Or I could do it tomorrow. And these would be your carpet choices. And you know, like you’d have to pay me in cash and so then I was like, this is shady. And then I didn’t even want like I just was like alright, I’ll let you know like I just wanted him out of my house because then I was like what I have to pay you in cash. Like cash money not like cash like use my debit card, but like cash money and I don’t know I was like, is he gonna be like leave 47 Peanut Butter Cups by the garbage can at 9pm I’m not going to do like it was felt so weird, like with weird rules, I don’t know. And so

I ended up calling a different company and they came the next

Day, and they were supposed to replace the carpet today, but it is raining. And so I can’t have the carpet replaced because it’s raining and they cut the carpet outside. So I would just have wet carpet. Not that I’m not used to that because I at this point, so they’re gonna come on Saturday and then we’ll finally be able to unpack. So I’m in my office, I don’t even know how this podcast is going to sound because I’m just echoing because there’s nothing in here. But like a chair, and I put up my computer so I could work a little bit.

But I will tell you that learning, or noticing how being able to go with the flow has been a lifesaver for us in these past few weeks. To say like there are things that I can impact. And there are things that I can’t. And when they’re I come against things that I can’t, I have to look at, what I’m able to impact is my thoughts and my stories around it. And so,

you know, today, my thought, as I leave this very short episode is really, there are things that we can control and the things that we can’t. And

what is always in our control, though, is our state. It’s how we are responding to things, how we’re thinking about things, and what our emotions are about things. And I know from my own life, and from working with so many people over the years, that many times we forget that emotions are optional, that they really are up to us. And many times we will have an emotion that is like that feels not optional, right? That feels like, like something that just happens. And it is comes from a trigger. So something happens that makes us so mad, or something happens that makes us so sad. And I think it’s really important to honor the emotions that you’re having in the moment. And then to understand what is my story around that? Where did that emotion come from? You know, I have been amazed over the past few weeks, at how well my husband and I have been working together in all of this, because it is lots of highly stressful situations, you know, lots of things happening that that are urgent, right are up here to have urgency, water coming through the ceiling absolutely felt urgent, moving my things out. So everything doesn’t get ruined, feels urgent. And when those things happen, it can be easy to clash with the person that you’re closest with, because you have a motion that you don’t know what to do with. And I have just been so amazed and proud of us. Because we have learned so much together over the past few years of like, where those emotions go and what our stories are around things. So that we can control the narrative and have an experience that even with all of this, like still living out of boxes still kind of crazy. It feels clear and fun. And I have a lot of things I’m looking forward to and it still feels exciting. And all of those things. So I think one of the biggest takeaways for me in this experience is that when I can own what my story is, no matter what the emotion is that I’m getting, right. So whether it’s a positive emotion, I’m saying like something that typically I would think of as good. Or if it’s something I would typically think of as a negative emotion. It’s telling me something about the stories that I have deep inside. There was one day where my husband was moving, and he was really frustrated. And he was angry and annoyed. And you know, I get it, we all have our experiences. And I just decided I was going to let him have that experience, but that I wasn’t going to have it. And that was actually really important for me because I wanted to be there to support him. But I didn’t want to participate in it. Because whatever was happening with him wasn’t mine. It was his. And I think that when he could and we talked about it later, but when he could own what was happening and what were the stories that were supporting the way that he was feeling, then he can start to heal that stuff. Then he can be like, Oh, this has come up this time and this time and this time. And here’s how I see those things connected. And here’s the story that I was telling myself. And when we can start to identify those stories and heal those stories. We can start to create a life that feels a lot clearer. You know, that feels a lot more. I want to say in control but that’s not even it’s like it just is a

it allows you to have

have moments of joy even in struggle, which I think we stop ourselves from doing so many times because we’re on guard. But when we own our stories, we don’t have to be on guard. And it just becomes like a way of moving through things. And every moment becomes a new experience instead of an overarching experience that just makes me mad or frustrated. So

all that and then I have one last little bit, knowing what I’ve, what the last three weeks have been, like, I kind of wasn’t surprised. But my daughter called me last night and said that the woman that lives upstairs from her in her apartment now my daughter lives not far from my old apartments. And she lives in really nice apartments. I say really nice. I mean, she has a one bedroom. It’s several $1,000 a month. Do you know what I mean? So like, it’s a pretty nice apartment.

And the woman came from downstairs from upstairs and said, I’m moving out and the apartments not going to tell you why I’m moving out. But I have bedbugs. This building is infested with bedbugs. And so she called me like, and I immediately was like, Oh my god.


it’s maybe a good thing that my carpet wasn’t being installed today, because I am going to deal with bedbugs. And get her out of there and figure out what to do before they infiltrate her apartment, and cause all kinds of trouble. So

I will take all good vibes on all fronts. So this was really more of a personal update for you guys, but also a call for you to listen to what your stories are around things and notice how your responses are to things. There is always so much more for me to do in this in my world and the work on myself. And I can see evidence of my healing. And that is so exciting to me. And there’s opportunity there, right? If you feel like oh my god, I’d be freaking out.

I would, I’m with you. And there is another way to to heal things so that you’re only freaking out about the situation that you’re in, and not the whole story that’s attached to that from your past. So if you want to do that work with me, reach out to me shoot me a message, send us a message on email support at Betsy pake.com or shoot me a DM anywhere. And let’s connect and I can show you the path. You can also go to my website. I have a new training. If you go to my website and you go to the Start Here you’re going to see a training for free masterclass. Discover how to shatter your limitations and live your greatest adventures without having to spend years in therapy or relive past traumas. You know, I love some therapy. And I think there’s also a point where people want to move forward. And they want to learn the skills so that they can continue to move forward on their own without having to relive or rehash or retell old stories. They want to identify the story and just move forward. And that is the work that I do. And I have seen evidence of how well it works over the past few weeks. So if you want to join me go head over and check out that masterclass, shoot me a message. And next week, we will have a longer episode that will be something great.

And I will be settled. And I will be doing that from my office. And that will feel amazing. So thank you so much for being here with me. I love you all so much. And I will see you next week. Bye bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.