09 How To Create The Life of Your Dreams – An Interview With Mary Jo Rakowski

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Today on the show I’m talking with Mary Jo Rakowski.  Mary Jo is a certified Infinite Possibilities Coach and she talks about the program and how it can help you identify roadblocks in your life to move forward with the life you dream of.  You can get the program for a limited time, online, at no cost at my website at betsypake.com. Look for the Infinite Possibilities graphic and it will take you to the sign-up sheet.  Remember to join our online community right here:  www.sslbcommunity.com.

Find out more about the science behind this by watching my video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7pjy4MlkGg&t=157s

If you want to find out more about MJ, you can find her online here: http://www.maryjorakowski.com/

Music by bensound. com

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Transcript:

Welcome to The Art of Living big. My name is Betsy Pake entrepreneur, author and personal success coach. This is the show that brings you stories and small ideas to help you live a big life. I hope this once a week podcast will inspire you, motivate you and encourage you to think differently about what could be possible for your life. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let’s go live big. Today we have with us Mary Jo Rakowski. Mary Jo, are you there?

Am Hi, Betsy. Hello.

I’m so glad you’re here today. All right. So let’s break it down. Let’s, let’s tell everybody kind of what we were thinking.

I’ll start and then.

And then you jump in. Okay. So, you know, the election was last week. And MJ and I were talking so many people are struggling and just really having a hard time on both sides, that we thought maybe this would be a really good opportunity to provide some thing else for people to focus on and a little bit of healing no matter what side you’re on, so that we can all start coming together. And we’re both certified in a training course called infinite possibilities. And MJ is going to talk to us much more deeply about that. But we are offering a free course, if you want to jump on you can head to my website at Betsy Pake Comm. And you’ll see the graphic there where you can jump into the course for free. So MJ, why don’t you kind of help people understand because now they’re listening? And they’re like, Alright, this is supposed to be something that might help me, but what is it? What is infinite possibilities? And tell us how you got involved in it?

Wow, well, let me begin by the short answer is infinite possibilities, the art of changing your life is an empowerment program. And when I say that, I mean that it’s a program that we invite participants to look at their thoughts and beliefs and the emotional triggers associated with them, to decide what still works for them. And what doesn’t. How do you flip thoughts? How do you install empowering beliefs? How do you know the truth of your emotions? So that you can truly step into deliberately creating the life of your dreams? So it’s about taking responsibility? For your past? Absolutely. For the future? You bet. But more importantly, for the present moment, because that’s really all we have. Right? That’s a is this very present moment. Like that.

Yeah, you’re right. So obviously taking responsibility for anything that’s happened in the past and looking forward to the future, but being in the present and recognizing the good. That’s in that moment.

Absolutely. That doesn’t know, recognizing the good doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge the not so good. But as a mutual friend of ours, Andy Dooley would state we have to celebrate the contrast, if we didn’t have the not so good with the good. Look so darn good.

Yeah. Yeah, that’s awesome. And Andy’s good for looking at the bright side and the right side of things,

I think Exactly, exactly. Yeah, the side that works best for each one of us, because we’re just such unique individual beings. And so while this program is attractive to a very broad audience, it also understands and allows for that unique spirit that resides in each of us. Hmm,

yeah. So tell me how you found infinite possibilities and how and why you got involved in it.

Okay, so I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest condensed version. It began in 1997, when my mother is killed by a drunk driver. So just imagine what life could be like if you somebody in your world that’s important to you. Is there one moment and poof, gone the next Yeah. for approximately 10 years after that, I was in a very dark mindset. And then my sister emailed me about these notes from the universe, free sign up for them. So I go to tut.com. And for all your listeners who aren’t there, this is totally free. You get notes from the universe Monday through Friday, and they’re fabulous. I signed up for these notes. And honestly, when I first started reading them every morning, I just kind of went, Oh, this is such cliche, crap. How could this possibly change my world? But I kept reading them. I kept reading them so that was in 2007. The author of those Notes Mike Dooley, then published a book titled infinite possibilities, the art of living your dreams. So I grabbed the book, I began to read the book. And as I’m reading the book, I realized that the content was so rich, and so powerful that I thought more people need to know about this. So how do you spread the word? So like you were speaking earlier, before we began, you’re thinking about creating a program. I sat there halfway through this book saying, oh, man, maybe I could create a program and I could teach us to people. And then the other voice said, Oh, who do you think you are to create a program who’s gonna listen to you? So the voices went back and forth. And then boom, at the bottom of one of my notes from the universe one day, it says, hey, guess what, you can become a certified trainer and infinite possibilities, the art of changing your life, and I went, that’s how this works. Oh, sorry. You know, yeah, that’s how this works. And so I attended my first training in June of 2012. And I have been sharing the transformational message of this program as much as possible, and I live and breathe it every day.

So it’s really it’s really changed your life. It took you out of like, a 10 year really dark period.

Yes, absolutely. And the moment that it happened for me, I was driving to tell my story, my victim story. Once again, like I had been for all through all those years, when it hit me as I’m traveling behind the wheel, and I just had this epiphany that not only do I not want to do this anymore, I can no longer do this. And it hit me so hard. I had to pull off to the side of the road, to just sit with that. That knowingness. And then, almost in the next heartbeat. Fear overcame me. Because now Who would I be?

Oh, that’s powerful. Yeah, we get in our, like, our mentality of whoever we are, whether it’s like that, or associated with a job, and then we lose the job or whatever it is, right? And then when that changes, yeah, what do you do?

Yes, it had that, you know, I was associated with Mothers Against Drunk Driving through those 10 years. Yep. That was who I was. Yeah. It was my identity, and then to have the understanding that that was no longer who I want it to be. Oh, but Okay, then. Yeah. You know, like, what’s next? And that was very, very, very scary.

And everybody sort of goes through a time where that happens. What’s next? It’s a, you know, you don’t know this, because we didn’t talk about this before. But my mother died in a car accident when I was 16. And so when you were saying, like, do you know what that’s like to like, have something just yanked from you? And I, and following that was really, probably six or seven years that were really, really hard for me. You know, my friends all have really great, like stories and stuff from college. And I don’t, I just remembered as like, just a really dark and sad and lonely time. And I didn’t find infinite possibilities, because it wasn’t around then. But it’s funny, because it’s when I learned how to shift my thoughts. And it was actually somebody that I worked with that, like explained it to me and said, This is what you have to do, you have to focus on this, you have to do this. And then, you know, as the universe works, you start finding more books and more ideas and more people that share this same idea. And it does kind of help lift you out and move you to a different spot.

Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. And, and you’re right, we all have our stories. We all have those moments in our life. That, you know, I call them the cosmic two by fours upside the head. When you’re like, Okay, this is not working anymore. This is not who I want to be anymore. Yeah. Where do I go?

Yes, yeah. And so what two things I want to talk about one is where do we go and then also, you know, you were like, you were saying you were involved with mad, which is, which is a really great organization, no doubt about it. But I know that sometimes when the and I’m gonna hesitate and say, I don’t know enough about mad to know what they focus on. But I know Mother Teresa would say, I’m never going to go to a anti war rally. If you have a pro peace rally, I’m gonna go. But I’m not going to focus on the negative thing because it’ll just bring more of it to me. And maybe having At time with mad you, you were focused on reliving that piece of your life?

Oh, yes, absolutely. And I can tell you, Betsy that I, I shared the story of that, that day in my life, I would tell a story once a month, so sometimes two or three times a month. And every time I told that story, I would go back to that moment, on a Wednesday afternoon when my phone rang, and I was notified that my mother had been killed. I was transported back in time, in every, every aspect of my being. And when we do that, we cannot move forward into a life full of joy, happiness, and create a life of our dreams because we are stuck in the past. So you’re right. MADD does phenomenally wonderful work. But like a lot of support organizations, they take people so far. And then they don’t have procedures or mechanisms or anything in place to move them on to the next steps. Right. Right. And, and so yeah, Matt, all those kinds of organizations serve a truly divine purpose. And they bring people along. And now then where do we go? Where does someone who understands all of this, go when they want to move through it? And you don’t forget it? You’ll never forget your mother being killed in an accident and how it affected your life? What we then do with that experience, how we choose to move into our future with that knowledge of that experience. That’s what makes the difference?

Yes,

yeah, absolutely. And it makes a difference.

And so, so tell us more about infinite possibilities. And how could that really help somebody? Like maybe they’re struggling? Maybe they’ve had a death like we’re talking about, maybe they’re struggling with the job or financial strain, or their kids are having trouble, like, whatever it is, how could this program really help?

Well,

in brief, for me, and what I share with the people I bring through the program is that this is an empowerment program. And empowerment happens when we become aware of who we are, and how we move through this journey of life. And becoming aware happens on a variety of levels, we become aware of the kind of thoughts that roll around in our head. And now those are the 5% conscious thoughts that we have 95% of the thoughts we have are on the subconscious level. So we won’t even go to those, we’ll just leave those alone. And when you consider that we have somewhere between 40 and 75,000 thoughts in a day. All we have time or energy for us to focus on the 5%. So growing in awareness around what kind of thoughts are we carrying through our day? Are they thoughts that lift us up? Are they thoughts that hold us down? What are the beliefs that are tied into those thoughts? So what is a belief, a belief is simply the product of thoughts that you continually think around a particular topic. And you keep thinking these thoughts, and they’re different variations on a theme. And then before you know it, lo and behold, you have this belief around that topic. And then there’s the emotional piece, because emotions play a huge role in our day to day existence. And they’re not bad or good. They’re part of who we are. So when we can build our awareness around our thoughts, and the beliefs that are entangled with those thoughts, and then the emotions that are associated with those thoughts and beliefs, and we can begin to kind of take a step back, look at all of that from an observer kind of point of view, and decide what still really serves us and works for us and continue that in our future. And then look at the stuff that maybe we’re like not so attached to and not too happy with, and how do I flip a thought, How do I install an empowering belief? And how do I not react in a situation from an emotional standpoint, but rather respond. And so all of that comes together in this incredibly easy to use program. That Mike that Mike Dooley has put together and you know, it’s such a fabulous program. Because each session builds on the one before and brings people along, so they can move through it at their, at their own speed, which is important, and what works and what works for them. Because everybody, everybody is not going to respond to the program, the same. It’s not a one size fits all. But it truly is full of transformational information that I think a lot of us, somewhere in our brain, the stuff is rolling around, but we’re not in a place where we can articulate it in this helps us get to that point where we can articulate it. So we can look at it, shine a light on it, and decide do I want to keep walking through my life with this? Or do I want to let it go?

I think that’s huge. Because lots of times we think we live in a world that’s where we’ve got free will.

But if we don’t know why we’re really thinking the things we think or even that we’re thinking those underneath the surface, but they’re affecting our decision making and how we really see the whole world. It’s not really freewill until we are aware. Absolutely. And you know, the beauty where Free Will comes in this into all of this is understanding that free will means that we get to choose what we think we get to choose what we want to believe. We get to choose how we want to feel, we get to choose how we act. And it really is up to each and every one of us to develop that conscious awareness around the fact that we have a choice, we always have a choice.

Yep. Yeah. Always, I heard a little saying there a little experiment once that kind of stuck with me. And it was, you know, at the listeners, as they’re listening, I’m going to say a sentence. And then you decide what picture is in your head, right? So the sentences and approached the bank? And so what picture comes in your head? Is it a woman like walking up to a bank or at an ATM? Or is it a woman on a boat coming into shore? And just as you got that picture in your head? That was from years of how you think about things, how you see things, the belief systems that your subconscious brain was bringing to the surface for you. Now, one person might have thought, the ATM machine and they totally thought that’s what I meant. And the other person thought the shore and they totally thought that’s what I meant. So that I said one thing, and they were experiencing two totally different things. And now that one isn’t necessarily something that’s going to harm you. But what if there is something that harms you like money’s really hard to make, or I never get enough sleep, I can never lose weight. Kids are bad. It’s hard to being in a relationship. Like all of those things. If those are coming up for you. Those are the things really where we want to catch them right and be able to make changes.

Absolutely, absolutely. Then the notion that money is bad or evil, well, hogwash. Yeah, money is energy. Money is a form of energetic exchange. Money is not evil. how people use money could be classified or labeled as good or bad. But money in and of itself is not evil. People are not horrible. People are innately wonderful. And they want to have a sense of where they belong and how they connect with others. And they want to feel loved. I mean, we all want this, I don’t care who you are. We all want that. Yeah, show up in this human experience. And that is what we are here for. And when you don’t get that, that’s when you start going down these other paths that may not serve you to your highest good.

So let’s What do you think something someone could do now that’s listening that says, Okay, well, like for example, the money thing, I always think money is bad, like, what could they do? Or how would they even start to know what they really think about money?

So I just was with a client earlier today, and I suggested that she start to journal around some of these just state some of these beliefs. Don’t worry about whether they’re empowering or not. But start writing down how you believe that that around certain things whether it’s money, life, work success, just start writing them down. Then read through them and pay attention to how your body reacts to them. Because if your body starts to feel icky, queasy all of this, then that’s not a belief you want to keep walking around with. Hmm,

yeah, how you feel about stuff.

Yeah, because our body, our body responds to the energy of words and statements. So start with that and Then when you can figure out the ones that you want to switch up the ones that you no longer want to hold on to. What can you How can you reframe it? So let’s take money, for example. Somebody says, Well, I think money is evil. Well, an empowering, empowering belief statement would not necessarily be, I believe money is good.

Right?

I recommend people don’t get so specific about it. I like the idea of I experience abundance in all aspects of my life. Now, yeah, that could be a stretch for people. And when we’re trying to lay down new empowering beliefs, we don’t necessarily have to buy into it 100% at the beginning, because the beauty of an empowering belief statement is that the more you read it, the more you state it, the more you act as if it is your truth, then it shortly will become your truth. That’s the law of attraction. That is the law of energy attracting like energy. So we don’t always have to 100% believe the new statements we want to bring into our life. But if we keep affirming them, if we act as if they are true, then they do come into our world. It’s inevitable, just like the limiting beliefs. For example, if you walk around saying, you know, bad things always happen in threes and two have already happened. I just know the third one’s around the corner. And then boom, you go around the corner. And there it is.

Yeah, hello.

Hello. You know,

yeah, yeah. And that’s when you hear all the time people say, yeah, the time

the other shoes gonna drop. Okay, what kind high heel, flat for? No, I mean, it and I and I speak from experience. I have to tell you, Betsy, because that’s who I used to be. Yeah. Used to be this. Ah, oh, my God, what’s gonna happen next, you know, always waiting and looking in the anticipating all of that. And sure enough, that’s, that’s how my life was.

So you made such a huge turnaround, like, was that a long process? Or did it really just happen overnight?

Oh, honey, I’m still a work in progress.

No, this is not a flipping the switch. This takes time. This takes work because we’re developing new muscles. Yep. And we’re transferring the power from muscles over here to the muscles over there. And as one of my, I have a couple of great teachers that I follow, and Dr. Joe dispenza is one of them. And some of your listeners may be familiar with them. But he always says, Love yourself enough to do the work. And that’s when I had to understand that doing this work, choosing to travel this path was one of the most loving gifts I could ever give to myself. And that translates into everybody in my circles.

And yeah, you’re worth it. You’re worth putting in that work. And really, it’s it’s, it’s small steps. It’s little small steps to create your big light. Yeah, really? Yeah.

It is. And you know, I, I’m pretty good at jumping in the deep end of a pool. And I’m a strong swimmer and all that. But then I also recognize sometimes you got to start where you can touch the bottom. And yeah, at least them into the deep end. So it is small steps. Sometimes there’s a giant leap thrown in there. But it is small steps. It’s being kind and loving to yourself, knowing that you are totally worth it. Absolutely. Totally worth it. I love that. That’s

that’s a tweetable moment. I like that.

So we have our online community. It’s at SS lB community.com. That stands for start small live big community.com. And you’re going to be jumping in there to to answer questions and kind of guide people if they need help. Absolutely. My pleasure. You bet. Cool. Well, this has been so great. I appreciate you taking the time, y’all. She got on the phone with me with some short notice because I wanted to roll this out for everybody. And so I so appreciate you MJ thank you so much for being on.

And Betsy, I appreciate the opportunity. As I said before we started this

I will talk about this till the cows come home if people let me.

Yeah, it’s good stuff.

It is good stuff. It is good stuff and it’s life changing stuff. So if someone’s really looking to, you know, to make that change, and just be like I got to figure this out. This is a great place to start.

Agreed 100% totally agree.

Thanks for spending some time with us today. Remember to jump in on that online. community at SS lb community calm and as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

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Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

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Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.