017 Use EFT to control your emotions: An interview with Bill Dovel - Betsy Pake

017 Use EFT to control your emotions: An interview with Bill Dovel

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Bill Dovel is a Registered Nurse, and  one of 14 Pro EFT Master Practitioners on the planet. He has also trained in Gold Standard EFT and Clinical EFT.

For 19 years Bill  actively practiced  in hospital settings as a Psychiatric Registered Nurse. He ran Partial Hospitalization Programs in the Bay Area for much of his career. He emphasized the biopsychosocial model of treatment. That model emphasizes the whole person. Using a combination of Behavioral Biology with Cognitive Behavioral and Cognitive Interpersonal techniques, he saw very good success with the patients. With panic disorder, the Burns Cognitive Behavioral method eliminated the uncued panic attacks those patients were suffering from. The problem was that every other symptom the person suffered from kept coming back, but the panic attacks were gone for good. He spent 15 years looking for a system of techniques that would make positive changes that would last, for all the symptoms people suffer from, not just panic. He knew that a technique that changed the mind while simultaneously deeply involving the body biologically was the key. He even went as far as trying to combine Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and yoga at the same time. None of those attempts were successful. Then he found EFT. Not only did it work better than anything he had ever seen, the positive changes were imprinted in the person in real time. This was just like the way trauma imprints in a person in bad situations, but in a positive way. From this point on, he began telling people, “I know what I want to do when I grow up.” He is now the owner of the Pro EFT Center, in Meridian Idaho, and practices Pro EFT full time.

He is passionate about behavioral biology and has spent many hours studying a wide range of disciplines. He believes in thinking outside the box. The best way to think outside the box is by learning the viewpoints from many different branches of science. When we view an issue from different perspectives, we can find better answers.  Find Bill’s website here: http://www.proeftcenter.com

Join our online community to ask more questions and learn more from Bill at www.TheArtofLivingBig.com

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Transcript:

Welcome to The Art of Living big. My name is Betsy Pake entrepreneur, author and personal success coach. This is the show that brings you stories and small ideas to help you live a big life. I hope this once a week podcast will inspire you, motivate you and encourage you to think differently about what could be possible for your life. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let’s go live big, happy New Year, everyone, I’m happy you’re here, I’m going to tell you a little bit about what’s on tap for this podcast and for some of my other work in 2017. So here, we are going to break it down, we’re going to start out the year, we’re going to focus on talking about what makes you tick how to identify and change some of your beliefs, changing your habits, getting a little more balanced and learn about manifesting some greatness, then in the spring, we’re going to move on, we’re going to learn about productivity, some ways to start small, and then moving into gratitude and how to work more of that into your life. We’re going to hit the fall, we’re going to work on family and relationships. And then we’re going to slide on into the holidays next year with a solid month on how to develop your plans for doing good the following year. So great stuff coming. My very first episode of this year, I’m really excited about I have a guest on today. And this is really fascinating. And I think you’re gonna find, if you open your mind to what we’re about to talk about, you’re gonna find that this could be something that could really have a huge impact on your life or the life of somebody that you love. But I really believe anybody could benefit from this work. So the guest I have on today actually actively practiced in a hospital setting and as a psychiatric registered nurse. So he actually ran a partial hospital program, where it emphasized on working with the whole person, he used a combination of behavioral biology with cognitive behavioral and cognitive in a personal techniques. And what he found was that this method, when he was working with panic, people that had panic attacks, this method eliminated the uncovered panic attacks from those patients. But the weird thing was that every other symptom the person suffered from kept coming back. So the old way of doing things was fixing some things, but it wasn’t really helping the person move forward with their life. So he spent about 15 years looking for a system of techniques that would make positive changes that would really last for people for all of the symptoms people suffer from. So not just panic, but he knew that a technique that changed your mind, while simultaneously deeply involving the body biology was really the key. So he went on a quest to try to find something that would really help people emotionally. And what he found was EFT, and that’s what we’re going to talk about today. So not only did he find that this method worked better than anything he had ever seen. The positive changes were imprinted on the person in real time. So if he worked with somebody, they immediately had an effect moving forward. So this was just like the way trauma imprints a person in bad situations, he was able to imprint them in a positive way. So he’s going to talk about that. I’m going to talk about my experience and how I found EFT. And he’s going to teach you some ways that you can start putting this into your life and even lives of people. You love your children, your family members, immediately so that you can start to heal, because we all have things that need to heal. So stay tuned, hold on to your seats. This is going to be a great episode. Alright, so today, my guest that I have is Bill doval. Bill, thank you so much for being here.

Oh, you’re welcome. And thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate the opportunity.

So this is a topic that I’m super excited about. I want you to tell everybody who you are and what you do, and then we’ll get started.

Yeah, my name is Bill Deauville. I’m a registered nurse who discovered something that worked really well for being upset, limiting beliefs, getting rid of those things in your life that are really bothering you. And it’s called EFT and I’m now a pro EFT master practitioner. There’s about 14 of us that have gone that far with that particular kind of training.

So I want you to explain what EFT is. But first, I want to tell a really quick story about how I found EFT. And really why I wanted you to come on. So a few months ago, I had an interaction with somebody and like we all do, where I just felt really drained and upset. And you know, I got home and I just started crying and I was like I’m so mad and I and I’m one that really likes to focus on the positive. I always like to look for the good stuff. And so I thought I I’m a big meditator and I thought I’m gonna go and get a meditation that’s going to help me So I went into an app that I use called on Varna, and I searched for upset or overcoming anger or something. And I found a quick short meditation, which is what I wanted, but it was EFT. And it was this tapping that you’re going to describe for us. But I did the meditate. And I was like, I mean, like, wet hand mad, really upset. And I was completely shocked at how well it worked. I did it. And it was as if angels came down and kissed my forehead. No, I felt. And so tell everybody what EFT is and what it was that I did and what I experienced.

Well, the classic explanation is that EFT is finger acupuncture, done with the ideas that you can get from psychology both at the same time, I’m going to give you a little bit more biological explanation, think about, I could have had a VA, you know, tapping yourself on the forehead, he got a headache, you start rubbing your temples, Home Alone poster, that, you know your fingers are under on your cheekbones and think of that statute, the thinker, people are, you know, you put your hands when you’re really concentrating below your nose and above your chin, and you’re trying to catch your breath. Everybody can get that one these areas of the body are we there’s an innate feeling we have that they have to do with emotional expression. And every actor and actress on the planet knows how to do this. If I were standing in front of an audience, and I wanted them to feel shocked, I would grab over around my collarbones sternum, upper chest area there, and I just put my hand there. And every member of the audience would start to feel a little shock, a little catch your breath kind of sensation. And essentially what tapping is, is to take these areas that every human on Earth uses to comfort and to have you tap on them. You know, the practitioner doesn’t need to tap on you, you tap on these points yourself. And when you tap on them in a row, it increases this wonderful comforting effect, which is the reason why we touch these places in the first place. So that’s the first part.

Tapping and EFT are the same thing. Like they’re interchangeable words, is that right?

They are within the world of EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s about 35 years old. Now I’m in the third generation of EFT practitioners. And before that there was something called TFT, etc. The whole concept of what’s going on with meridian tapping is that we tap on the body and then we talk about the things that are upsetting and then the aren’t upsetting anymore, because we’ve caused the body to comfort. Emotional Freedom Technique now has a lot of divisions. There’s matrix reimprinting. There’s something called pro EFT, which I do. I’m trained in a couple other kinds of EFT as well. But you know, as you move on, you know, more and more people start contributing to the knowledge base. And so we have a few different names for it now.

So what that was one of the things I noticed when I did this, and I keep wanting to call it a meditation, but it wasn’t really what would I call it? What I did

a meditation is actually very, very good word. The typical, the typical medical meditation actually puts you in the same state, that tapping does have the difference. The differences is most often in a meditation, what you’re doing is getting your mind to shut off all the noise. And to get to that calm space. The problem is, is the parts that have all the noise recorded, they’re just waiting you for there’s waiting, you can get in your car, you go to drive some jerk cuts you off, and the next thing you know it’s back again. Yeah, you tapping those one more little thing, we’re gonna bring up the neural network, and I’ll just use that as a way to explain all the stuff that’s going on that has you feel bad, we bring that up, which makes you feel bad. And then at the same time, simultaneously, we cause the body to calm down. And while the body’s calming down, pretty soon it goes you know, I thought I was supposed to get upset by all the nasty things that person’s said apparently, I’m just supposed to feel calm, and you actually are training into your body a brand new response.

You know, it’s interesting because when I did it, it had me when I do meditation so many times I’m trying to like like you said like shut the voice off, but when I did the EFT practice, it had me say I’m so upset. I’m so upset. Like, it felt good to be able to like that. It was validation, almost like a Personal validation, like I’m so upset, the thing that happened to me was really upsetting. And then I was tapping away and feeling happy. So it that was a weird twist

to it. It is, and going to traditional psychiatry psychology, for example, the first step in healing is to feel understood and to feel validated, and EFT, whether by accident or design, all the EFT systems really have you validate what your real truth is, mostly, you know, you’re trying to get through life, you just finished talking to the main person, you have to let’s say, You’re going on there to do an interview, you don’t want to be all angry during the interview. So you covered up, you try to say, Well, you know that she’s doing the best she can or whatever it is, yeah, to try and block it out. But deep down inside, the part that’s hurt, has imprinted that hurt. And from the PTSD model, we have a very clear idea of why that is, when something is really upsetting. It imprints in our unconscious mind. And it becomes like a permanently wired thing. You know, somebody has a horrible thing happened, and they’ll turn and look at you and say, I’m never gonna be the same. Incidentally, that’s a limiting belief, which is one of the things we can talk about, but it’s being hardwired into their brain to never be the same again,

is it because when something’s really emotional, that is what really like PTSD is I’m experiencing something, but it’s so emotional. That’s what’s imprinting it, though,

very, very much so. And in fact, in my explanation, which is a more biological one for how EFT works. That’s what makes it really work. In other words, in the moment, you can feel better, but you go outside to some, you get reminded of what the mean person said or whatever happened, and it comes back what we’re actually doing is we’re imprinting a new imprint in there. And and this is not generally known, we understand that trauma will imprint these, you know, fear, rage, terror, whatever will imprint in your mind. sodas, calm sodas, okay, so does love sodas, euphoric, sort of sad. And when you’re tapping, because you’re doing these comforting points in a row, it actually increases the intensity of the Okay, calm, loved safe feelings that tapping produces, and it increases them enough that the mind will rerecord. It’ll, instead of going, you know that, I just can’t, how could they do that? You’ll say things like, I’m so upset. How could they do that should drive me crazy. And when you’re done, your body will go, okay. I’ve said it. I’ve been validated. And you know what? I don’t have to feel crazy anymore. So so it doesn’t.

Yeah, so that’s super interesting. So typically, our typical response is reinforcing the, like, this person brings out this hurt in me, right? So yes, I’m reinforcing that. But this method is actually recognizing that and helping you release it so that you’re kind of overriding it sort of like when I had a cassette tape, not that I’m old enough to have had a cassette tape. But if I was, I could tape over it, I could record over it. You know, when Casey caissons new week came out, I could just record the new stuff that I wanted, right is it kind of like that,

it’s very, very much like that. The unconscious mind defends, with with great intensity, you recording over things because it thinks what it has is really important, doesn’t want you to forget how to drive how to walk, how to eat without getting stuff in your hair, how to be socially appropriate. All of that stuff gets hardwired into us up to age seven, incidentally, everything hardwires after age seven, somewhere in AI biology, there’s a decision that’s made that the only way I’m going to record something as if it’s very emotional. So that’s why when you’re trying to change yourself as an adult, and you’re calmly talking to yourself, about what you want to do, that’s why it’s so difficult is because, first of all, there’s not a second you waiting around for you to explain stuff to them, so they can figure it out. And secondly, because the unconscious mind with all these reactions, does not want to give up whatever its reactions are. When we’re tapping, we’re turning on the record button.

Wow. So that I am so fascinated by that. So that’s really cool. So let’s talk a little bit about beliefs. You know, I know you brought that up. And I do I believe one of my I’m a big writer down of my beliefs. So if something happens, and I think that that thing, I write about that thing. So every morning I journal and I write about something, believe something I believe and I try to kind of figure out why and the bottom of it so even normal everyday things

Yeah, that makes perfectly good sense. Yeah, that’s a good thing to do.

Because I think that there’s probably lots of things I just think are real. But it may just be what I believe, and it may not really be real. So I’m trying to really make sure I’m choosing what I believe and figuring out what’s real. Okay. So yeah, and I guess what’s real is whatever I think is real. But that’s a whole other podcast, we can

do another time it is. So we can do an hour on there.

But to change my beliefs, you know, if there’s something that’s not supporting me, I believe that so many times when people are trying to make changes in their life, the thing that’s holding them back is that they have a belief system that is holding them back.

Yes. And in fact, you can’t be stressed, for example, without a belief system that makes you stressed the middle part of the mind, which is where all the emotional stuff is that they call it the limbic system, that part is not connected to your eyes, it’s not connected to your skin’s not connected to your ears. It is oddly enough connected to your nose, but it’s not connected to the other four senses. And so the only way your emotional self knows how to react emotionally, is my what you’re thinking. And if you and most of us actually have unconscious thoughts that totally disagree with each other, you know, like, for example, when someone does something that really hurts your feelings, you can say, well, they probably didn’t mean it. The other side says, Are you kidding me? Then they didn’t say it once. They said it three times. And these two parts, and those two parts in your unconscious mind can argue with each other all day long. And and like two people arguing the more they argue the bigger they get. And that’s why it’s so frustrating with people to dump their limiting beliefs. And any belief is, belief becomes limiting when it limits your life. And one of the reasons it’s almost impossible to get rid of a limiting belief without doing a technology like this, is because the limiting belief is true. You and you can argue the other viewpoint, and then you get to this insane, it’s not really unsafe, but we think of it as insane. Where you realize that both sides of their argument are true.

Yeah, yeah.

And how do you solve that? Well,

so it really it just to identify the people that maybe aren’t familiar with this. A belief is just anything you think about the world. Right? So like, I believe that I that I live in Atlanta, so it’s warm most of the time, like, that’s kind of a belief,

right, based on what I’ve experienced. But that’s what a belief is it very much and it becomes limiting. When I believe that I, for example, that I believe that this person who is mean to me has no right to do this. So every time they do that you feel shocked, because they don’t have any right to do it. And there they are doing it again. And you know, 100 or 10,000 times into people violating the things you’d think they don’t have the right to do. Your, your mind just kind of goes crazy with it, because it imprints and imprints and imprints and pretty soon, you get caught in this mental circle you don’t know how to get out of Do you

think that it also starts to make you see like, make you see things that aren’t really there. So it may not be that someone that you’re used to or you think is always, you know, attacking you, then they’re not really attacking you. But you’re just so defensive and worried that that’s coming that you you are on on edge could that be? Oh,

not only can that be we can even change it to a new person. You can have an older person in your life older, more distant in the past who who did things that were pretty derisive and kind of held in contempt. And then you can get with the person who apps and the who a completely different person, it doesn’t matter. And they say something that kind of triggers that thing. And you’ll feel that same derided contemptuous set of feelings that you felt with the other person and the new person. intentions aren’t even there. I mean, yes, it can happen with one person. But one of the things that really messes up our relationships is and we have a term for that emotional baggage, our emotional baggage kicks into gear. And the next thing you know, we’re upset about a little tiny thing on a huge scale. That’s one of the indications that we need to do some tapping.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I always I always say I have emotional baggage, but mine comes in Louis Vuitton, so it’s okay. So, talk to me then about if I know I have a limiting belief, and I say this thing is holding me back. How would I get started? What would I do?

Well, the simplest way and we’ll do the simple version like you have a limiting belief. And so you may find yourself journaling in the morning the opposite of the limiting belief, the beliefs that you hope will overcome the limiting And the order to do it is to just honest, honestly, in a way that validates that part of you that’s really upset, let it talk and just write out all the stuff that doesn’t like all the things it’s upset about. And then tap on that first. And, and one of the secrets to effective meridian tapping and all EFT is meridian tapping is that you take out the bad stuff first, what we mostly try to do is we try to overwhelm the bad stuff with the good stuff. And short term that can work because the conscious mind is in charge the unconscious mind, of course it doesn’t reason doesn’t figure things out. But as soon as you’re distracted, that old program will play again. And so you need to take out the old program before you try to put the new one in. And in EFT, that’s one of the critical things in your training and is to learn not to do that, for example, I have a client that used to be subject to panic attacks. And when they were first starting the panic attacks are gone now, incidentally, but but they were having a panic attack and it had to do with her rendus thing you know, involving death and all sorts of things that have just happened. And so they tried to tap it down. And and they tapped all the points saying I’m not panicked. I’m not panic, I’m not panic, I’m not Benjen work at all. Yeah. Because they were panic.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta you have to acknowledge that you’re really feeling that.

It’s hard for us to imagine if you’ve ever felt panic, anxiety or anger, the body thinks all of these and they really are, all of these negative emotions, as we call them are helpful. Panic is a way to survive a life and death situation, we feel in a panic, it sucks all the blood from our far extremities, it puts all the blood in our thighs, so we can run it certainly the reason it’s taking all the blood, like your hands get hold cold and all that. So you don’t bleed out. I mean, if you’re running from a lion, and they take a swipe at you, you don’t want to bleed out, it shuts your digestion system, it shunts everything to your heart, your brain, it makes you feel terrified, and the panic attack also will teach you that you’re going to die. So you can play dead. It’ll make you play dead, and you won’t have any choice. And that’s

the freeze. It’s freeze fight or flight, right.

Yeah. And it’s a freeze response. And it’s actually a good thing. The problem is, is that these symptoms are coming up, when you’re driving down the street, or somebody says, you know, how’s your how’s your whoever the person is doing or you know, you get a trigger a reminder. And then it goes into because the body the unconscious mind can evaluate it goes into this fight or flight freeze response. And that response turns your ability to cope with it off because it wants to take over right now if you heard a rattling sound under your chair, and probably you don’t keep pet rattlesnakes out in the room you’re doing interview from, but you wouldn’t evaluate it, you would jump up on the desk.

Yeah, without even thinking, right? Yeah.

And that’s what it’s supposed to do. When you’re driving your car, thinking about the interview, let’s say you had to drive somewhere to get where you’re doing the interview, who’s driving the car, it’s that same unconscious mind, that also produces the anger and the panic and all the negative emotions. And and the more you in this is what we’re getting to the more you ignore this negative emotion, the stronger it gets. It’s going What does it take to get through to Betsy, right? So you try to shut it down, it tries to turn itself up.

Yeah, that’s so interesting, because I find, you know, we talked briefly a little bit before, but this negative emotion that I have, and this interaction that I had is, you know, interaction that I’ve had with the same person for a long, long time. And it’s, it’s not just them, it’s me, too. So there’s a combination of the two of us, but I I wake up a lot in the middle of the night and that’s what I’m thinking about. And, and it’s been going on for 30 years. Like it’s almost silly where I think like oh my gosh, so really by me like constantly going don’t think about it, don’t think about it, I’m feeding it is

you’re what you’re doing is you’re telling the alarm system because this is an alarm system of the body designed to protect you. You’re telling the alarm system, I’m turning the alarm off, and your conscious mind and our conscious mind wins. It’s smart that I described the unconscious mind is dumber than a doorknob when it comes to evaluating. It’s brilliant at making connections. It’s way more brilliant than our conscious mind is but the conscious mind gets to shut it off. So you go to sleep. And guess what just got turned off. When you go to sleep your conscious mind. Then the unconscious mind goes Now it’s my turn. That’s why you wake up in the middle of the night.

to process it right? Is it trying to make sense of it? Or what is it trying to do?

I don’t think the unconscious mind would understand the term make sense of it. What it’s doing is it looks for a trigger. And when it gets triggered, it gives you the response because the processing mind is painfully slow. If for example, let’s do our pretend rattlesnake analogy now, and you wouldn’t think you know, the desk is three feet high. I’m gonna have to jump this much pressured. None of that’s going to be going. Yeah, you’re not saying it. I’m gonna sound really silly if I scream, okay? None of that gets to work, because the unconscious mind turns it all off, right? Because though your reactions are too slow, you’re driving somebody swerves, you swerve. You don’t have time to calculate speed, distance, all of the things intellectually, and it’s really supposed to work that way. And you can keep it shut off until you’re distracted, tired, asleep, cranky, hormonal. You know, the the person you don’t that’s been mean to you shows up at your doorstep, whatever it is, yeah. Yeah. And at that moment, the unconscious mind turns off your conscious mind and just starts running on the show again.

So doing this tapping can help me to actually heal it, and over override that. So when you talk about meridians, and you know, I have have done it, and then I’ve seen you, you know, on video So, but tell people what it is they’re actually tapping on like, what is what is a meridian?

Okay, a meridian is is the

Far Eastern initial, Lee at least way of understanding how energy goes through your body, and I’m a nurse, and part of my pre nursing training was dissecting, you know, cadavers. And, and, you know, Western medicine looked at that, and they went, I don’t see any wiring there for world, these lines on the, you know, on the kewpie doll that the acupuncture says in their office, I don’t see those lines, we now have the technology with electron microscopes to see that there really is a system in there. That there’s there’s two systems on top of each other one is that water molecules throw out a hydrogen and they become supercharged. And they in fact, that’s what makes water Skipper stay on the stop, you know, on the top surface of water, makes rain at every cell in the body has to have a kind of a charge ionic version of water. So there’s one system there. And if you threw an electron microscope, if you look at it, it goes where those meridians are, there’s also another system that’s recently been discovered. That’s microscopic, that actually transports photons throughout your body. And it happens to be right on those meridian systems exactly where the, from a sense of feel and intuition and experimentation, starting mostly in China, people for thousands of years of keeping track of how things worked in theirs, and just being sensitive to how their bodies felt. Were able to draw these meridian lines out.

Wow. So that’s fascinating. So there’s real science behind it.

Yes, very, very much so. And it sounds like Weird Science from a 20th century perspective. But in the 21st century, we can we have equipment that can see things on a miniscule level we we can even measure photons in a in a vessel that’s so small you you can’t see it without a special kind of microscope. Yeah, the better our capabilities get in science the more that we can see that a lot of the things that hundred years ago we made fun of are actually pretty real.

So the meridian points that I remember I tapped on was like right above my eyebrow, and then kind of on my temples and I think it was my collarbone maybe in this like karate chop in my hand.

Yes. And, and that that would be a very short form of the points. There’s different kinds of EFT we’ll call that gold standard DFT that would be a pretty good representation, they would probably do the under the nose, above the chin and the cheekbone, added into them, that there’s a longer form and gold standard that has a few more points. Incidentally, if you see my videos, I’ve added even a few more. And that my basis of at first of all, we just experimented You mean, you know, work with my clients. So let’s add a couple of points. See how that works. And all my clients said I’m gonna keep doing those extra points. And, and the reason for that is I did some studies of people in disasters, you know, were they taking pictures, unedited, so they’ve not they haven’t edited out all the pain and ugliness. And I just saw where everybody was touching themselves. And so That’s a series of points I use.

And where can people find your videos on your website?

Yeah, pro EFT center.com. Okay, great.

And I’ll put the link in the show notes too.

So that’ll be perfect.

Okay, so, because I feel like I’m kind of jumping all around, but it’s because there’s so many things I love about this. So Alright, so let’s go back to the belief system. So, yes, you started, I got sidetracked.

I get sidetracked really easily. The the belief system gets imprinted. Because you have an experience. And you interpret that experience, you say, you know, this person’s always mean to me. So that’s a limiting belief. And it’s true. And every time they mean, they’re mean to you get upset, so it imprints could the upsetness cause it imprints what you discovered, they’re always mean to me, okay. And so the thought gets stronger and stronger and stronger, and it’s more and more upsetting. And, and so, in order to get rid of that belief, we have to acknowledge the truth in it. And while we’re acknowledging it, you’ll say that person is really mean to me. And then you can talk, if you have just journaled all this stuff about them, just read the journal back while you’re tapping the points. And, and once you take and get the charge, we call it the charge, you get the charge out of the painful experience, that painful thought, then the thought no longer becomes a set of directions, because in your unconscious mind, if you say, they’re always mean, when you go to have contact with them, it says, this person’s coming into view, and you start reacting as if they’re being mean, which helps trigger them to be me. And pretty soon you have this vicious circle between the two of you. Yeah, you know, and you can break your part of the circle, we’re not in charge of the other side. But yeah, we can definitely break it. And you can take all the charge out, and you can, after you’ve taken the charge out, then you can put in the things you like. And for example, I just I just don’t want to care. I mean, they’re gonna say some stuff, there’ll be some biting comments. I don’t want to care. So you tap in, I don’t want to care. But you have to tap in, I don’t, I don’t care. After you take out charge on the fact that they’re mean it has to be in that order. My I have a clumsy metaphor. So you have a great dinner, but you can’t quite finish it all and you leave some of your food on the plate. The next evening, you make another great dinner, and you just try to dump the new great dinner on top of the old dinner that’s been sitting out all day. Yeah, we have to clean the plate off before you can put the good stuff on the plate. And it’ll work.

Yeah, that makes that actually is a really good metaphor that makes a lot of sense. And so how many times do I have to do it? Like, I really want to do it once. Okay.

How many times how long does this take?

Well, a for a simple issue. And particularly if you’re younger, you have a simple issue, that person made a comment, you’re really hurt your feelings, you can tap it out. And Excuse me for a second. Sorry, the net leads us to the 20 Minute Miracle that everybody expects from me ft. And there’s so many cases, you know, like Nick ortner, beyond that haze house, you know, their big celebration and somebody comes up, they’ve had physical pain for 18 years and 20 minutes, it’s gone. And that does happen. And all of us that are experienced EFT practitioners and are good at what we’re doing. We’ve all had our 20 minute miracles. But you might have 5060 100 300 layers of beliefs on top of each other. And it’s not magic. As you get rid of one, we call it like unpeeling an onion. And so for some people, they have a lot of sessions to get to the goal they want. And for some people, it’s just by the second session, they’ve even kind of forgotten what the first session why they even did it because it’s completely gone and changed.

Wow. So it really probably depends on how ingrained It is

very much. And for example, when often I tap with parents, and they’re working on their stuff, life is good. And they’ll bring in a child who just was bullied, for example. We don’t have 10 sessions to do on this because they were bullied last week. They haven’t built this protective shield and the next level the protective shield for the last 30 years. So it isn’t thick. We just tap down the bullying and then they’re done. They want to go outside play, you know, yeah,

yeah. So you get so this is really a great thing really to learn to do with your kids.

Oh, it’s wonderful. And so and and you can tap for the kid or you can, if they’re young enough, I’m particularly mom with a child and moms tend to be very connected. And like you can take your three year old and you could just tap it from their viewpoint and just tap in front of them and they will restart Just like they’re tapping, there’s an outfit that has a teddy bear. And they have the three year old tap on the teddy bear. They say the teddy bear is really angry about this. And they need help. And they’ve already learned the points. And in fact, this teddy bears have the dots already pasted on him. And and then the child will tap on those points. And when they’re done, they’ll they’re done. They’re fine.

That’s so cool. I love that.

So as adults, of course, you know, we have a lot more layers.

Yeah. And I think that, you know, we think I mean, at least I, I think a lot of I believe a lot of people think this is that, like, just sometimes life is hard, you know, and you just got to deal with stuff. But really, you don’t like, you know, and that’s one of the things I always tell people like you don’t you can have the life that you really dream of, you can be free of the things you want to be free of. And this is one of the ways they could do that.

Life is hard as a perfect limiting belief. And and it’s true, if you’ve had some hard experiences, and many of us have had real suffering in our life. It’s true that it’s hard. But the stronger you believe life is hard. The more you automatically when you’re not paying attention, walk on a path in life that leads to hard things happening. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that’s, that’s super. Gosh, that’s so true. I, you know, I have talked on this podcast before about how my, my mom passed away when I was 16. And it was obviously like a devastating thing. And, you know, I sort of ignored it for a long time to get through college and all those things and kind of manifested itself into some ugly stuff for me. But I always have felt like it. My view on it. My belief wasn’t that life is hard and terrible things happen to me, that was never really what I believed. What I believed was that I had this amazing opportunity for contrast, I always have felt like that, like, Yes, I have now, any bad day I have, I don’t want less than bad at that day. And so that’s my belief, but I can, but I’ve always been really lucky that that’s how I thought I don’t know where I got that from.

But what I would like to point that out, the tapping is the most effective way I found to make this recording mechanism happen. But you can do it dozens of different ways. For example, you start a new relationship, talk about a poet positive emotion impending, and you’re infatuated with the other person, and they’re just absolutely wonderful. And you imprint how wonderful they are. Three and a half years into the relationship, one of the two of you is paying bills and the other one interrupts them. And they get to meet how that person’s father thought about money. Because that imprint from their childhood is in there. And then they go. What’s up with this? I got gypped. Yeah, yeah, this is not the person I married. I mean, are you kidding me? Okay. Yeah. So and then that imprints, so a high level of emotions. Whether it’s a common emotion, a loving emotion, terrifying emotion and angry emotion or hurt, emotion will make an imprint? What’s happening, were causing the calm emotion, to go high enough for you to just rewrite your story. And you can have your adult self rewrite a story that maybe the three year old or 16 year old self imprinted?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I really love this. So, all right, so I want to just wrap up to just remind people, they can go to pro EFT center.com. And that’s where your website is, and they can find videos and get more information. Do you work with people one on one?

Yes. And that that’s the big part of my practice is that, you know, someone will will do a few sessions, they’ll get good at it, they’ll go off on their own. Incidentally, at the end of the session, I make a recording that you’re continuing tapping, recording. And with you and you know, like you just hit your cell phone, hit the little play button on the email, and you have it there. And then when you get something that the recordings are not working for, then you come back and do a session. But this is a huge self help thing, though. The more you tap with somebody who is really good at it, and they’re helping you, the better you get at doing for yourself. Sometimes we need another mind that’s not embroiled in the problem to help set it up. Yeah. But yeah, my mic. Clients are off on their own for most of the time. In fact, I have to mark it all the time. Because they get better. They get over the thing that was bothering them, and they move on.

Yeah, yeah. Which is awesome. Like I always have said, with my clients, I’m happy when they go off on their own. They don’t need me. Yeah. Cool. All right. So we have a free community. You can find us at SS lb that stands for start small live big community.com. And that’s our free Facebook group. And you’re going to be in there bill right and answering

questions. Wonderful. And in fact, I’m going to go sign up and get in there now And incidentally, I I love talking about this. I love questions, please never hesitate to get a hold of me through my email the you know, calling my office or through the Facebook site here. I love doing that. I’m a sole proprietor. So, you know, if I’m in sessions, you’ll have to wait till I get free. But anybody that has questions, please feel free to get ahold of me.

Thank you. That’s so kind and I love this because I feel like this is like you’ve really found this is your mission. It seems like this is really your calling.

Yeah, it’s it’s what I meant to do in life. You know, I my joke was when I really discovered how well this works. I just went, I know what I know what I want to do when I grow up.

Yeah, I love that. Well, thank you so much for your time, and thanks for being on. I have really really enjoyed this and I’ve learned a lot.

Well, thank you so much. Betsy. Pake, what a delightful person to talk to. And a great way to start out the

morning. Thanks for spending some time with me today. I’d like to hear what you think. So be sure to get in on the conversation at SS lB community.com. And of course, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

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About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.

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