80: Conscious Communication with Mary Shores - Betsy Pake

80: Conscious Communication with Mary Shores

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As an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and CEO, Mary Shores teaches individuals and businesses to fearlessly create their own realities by using scientific methods and practical personal development. Mary Shores is the award-winning author of Conscious Communications, a groundbreaking personal development book published by Hay House and endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors. Released in August 2017, Conscious Communications draws on Mary’s over ten years of personal development experience and knowledge to create easy-to-follow, step-by-step practices that can transform each area of your life. Mary also enjoys creating workbooks and courses for individuals who want to live a life in alignment. You can find Mary on her website at www.maryshores.com 

This is a great episode for anyone who is looking for a new perspective on thoughts and belief systems, book lovers and anyone who wants actionable ways to begin to change their day with their words.

Transcript:

Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey everybody, welcome to the show. Today before we get into the interview, I actually wanted to give you an update on beauty. If you listen to Episode 77, you heard about how I was trying to create a different kind of legacy in 2018. And I invited you all to join me in sponsoring a young girl in Uganda who has clubfoot and within a week, we were able to secure all the funds for all of her treatment for the whole year to actually correct her clubfoot, which is life changing to somebody living in poverty. I wanted to give you a just a quick update of where we are right now. If you’re on Instagram, you can follow my Instagram. It’s just at Betsy Pake and I will be posting regular updates as she goes through her treatment over the year. But she came in this past week to the clinic to start her treatment. She’s diagnosed with the left clubfoot and a mild deformity of her right foot. So they went ahead and fixed both, she’s going to go through serial castings weekly. So every six to eight weeks, she’s going to have a new cast put on. And she had like a tend to not tend to know me, I might be saying that wrong basically where they slice her Achilles tendon so that it grows at a stretched out position. So she’s in the cast. Now, she is a twin. And there’s a lovely picture there of her whole family. And they just look happy and relieved. And so I wanted to thank everybody that gave whether monetarily or in spirit and send good vibes out there to beauty, because we absolutely made a difference in changing her life. So I have started something that I call live and give 10% for charity. So all of my coaching programs moving forward are going to go to some sort of charity, I think I’m going to stick with this one for a while, because it’s kind of fun, because we get to see how it directly impacts somebody, which for me feels really good. But you’ll see updates. And again, if you’re on Instagram, that’s probably we’re going to be posting most of those. So that we can kind of share and in, you know, send out your good vibes for for whoever we’re helping at that particular moment. Because it’s you guys believing in me and trusting in me and buying my coaching programs that’s going to help to support this whole effort. And before we get to the interview, I wanted to just thank our sponsor, audible. If you’ve never used audible is pretty awesome. And you can get a free audiobook download, and a 30 day free trial. at audible trial, comm backslash live big, there’s tons and tons of titles to choose from. I have been using Audible for I don’t know, years and years. I mean, I think like six or seven years, and I truly love it. So check that out, get your free download. And then when you get the 30 day trial, it’s actually awesome. Because if there’s other books you want, you can get them at a discount. And then you can cancel if you want to, or you can keep going I do it and I get one book a month and it’s just awesome. So check that out at audible trial, comm backslash live big. And now here’s the show. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. I am really excited today because I have Mary shores with us. Hey, Mary, thanks for coming on the show.

I am so excited to meet you today. Thank you so much for having me as a guest.

So this is a big honor for me. And as people start to listen, they’ll go Oh, yeah, this is this is right up Betsy Alley, right. But tell everybody a little bit about you and what you do?

Sure, well, I am just somebody who is probably a natural born entrepreneur. And what I mean by that is I just started my first business at a really young age, I really had a very chaotic type of childhood. And people seem to be pretty fascinated that I was able to overcome a lot of a lot of things that happened but also people are pretty fascinated that I am sort of this like how do you call a personal development teacher, New Thought Leader just have a lot of knowledge in personal development and also spirituality. But yet at the same time, the company that I own is a debt collection company. So people seem to be kind of fascinated with what’s what’s all that about?

Well, yeah, and when I read your book, I was like, Oh my gosh, talk about like being in a position every day where that has the potential to make your vibration really low. Right. So that’s a low vibe thing is talking to people that are stressed out right and, and struggling but you managed to really turn that around, which which was fascinating to me sort of how you shifted that. And and sort of that moment, can you talk about like that moment where you shifted things,

you know, there really, there really was a moment. And so it’s interesting that you you call it that because it truly was a moment. And I just looked at the phone one day. And I said out loud, I want the next person who calls to be happier at the end of the call than they were at the beginning. And that one question to myself, like, how can I make the next person happier, like, not only changed my entire company, but it changed my entire life. And so and like, just to rewind from that I had just been at a Tony Robbins seminar, unleash the power within. And one of my takeaways was always know your outcome. And so instead of like setting this huge outcome, that you know, I wanted to be a superstar or something like that, I literally just thought, I want people to be happy about paying their debt, because having a debt is a psychological burden. And it’s a burden that gets in between people, and like living the life of your dreams. So you talk about a barrier belief. You know, having a debt is huge, because people with a debt might not apply for a mortgage, they might not apply for a job or even date the same person, because they have this underlying feeling of shame and unworthiness. And I just wanted to dive right in. And that was like my entry point of what I wanted to correct.

Yeah, I like that a lot. You know, Oprah talks about when she made the shift in her show, where she realized that she was sort of fostering, like a low vibe feeling with all of the guests and the people that she was presenting to her audience. And so she had that moment where she said, I’m setting a different intention. And before every show, and every single thing we do, we’re going to set an intention for what we want the outcome to be, which you’re right isn’t some big huge thing. Like I want this show to be like where I own my own network. But that’s not what she did. She set the intention for the very next thing, which is really what you did to and, and I’ve heard Sara Blakely from Spanx talk about that very same thing about really narrowing and just setting the intention. Is that how it feels to you like intention?

Well, yeah, you know, I think that there’s so much to it. But yeah, intention setting is huge with me. But I also think that there’s this component of bringing in your natural gifts. Forward. Yeah. So like, for example, I don’t know if you get into like the last books of the Bible or anything. But there’s a quote from the last Gospel of Thomas, I think that if you bring forth what is inside you, what is inside you will save you. And if you do not bring forth, what is inside you, what you do not bring forth, will destroy you. And I think that there’s a really important message for me in that passage, because in one of the chapters of my book, I talked about becoming who you really are. And this was a huge aha moment for me, because as I was kind of struggling, you know, I went through this existential crisis of AI at one point in my life, and this was years after I already developed like the communication strategy for collections and customer service. But I sort of got, I decided I wanted to take a more spiritual path in life. And so I was going on, like yoga retreats, and my life was just taking a direction, more even to what I would say is like opening up to the feminine, and the feminine essence. And of course, I had been in a very masculine, masculine position, right. As a debt collector, it’s a very male dominated industry. And so I felt this crisis of how can I take a spiritual path and be a debt collector? Because let’s face it, like the debt collector in the Bible is not a popular person. Right, right. And so I felt very conflicted. But what I learned was that it doesn’t really matter what your j ob is, because what matters is what your purpose is. And I hear a lot of people lately talking about purpose and how to find your purpose. And it kind of gets too chaotic and complicated. I like to keep things simple. And what I learned that I think is impactful is your purpose is your gifts that you have been born with, like you are genetically programmed with your gifts, and they’re going to come out and you can easily discover them by taking like a Myers Briggs personality test. It doesn’t have to be this big mystery. And so for me that was writing, teaching and speaking, and then you just bring those gifts to whatever your job is, and when you do that, you will see things, you will see your world turn around so quickly. And when I did that, I mean, next thing I know I have a book deal, like everything is my life has just been in such a transition period because I was able to figure out how to use my gifts to best serve the world.

I like that a lot. I talk a lot on the podcast about, like, I say, stop with the hustle and do more aligned action. But it sounds like that’s really what it is. Right? Because you’re in your job, but you’re more aligned, because you’re using the things that are special and unique just to you. Now, I’m, I have joked along the years that I make now Mary, I’m not sure if you’re gonna really understand the full impact of this, but I make an incredible poached egg. And I have a have a joke that God went into the basket and there was nothing left. And he said, we’ll give Betsy the poached egg thing. But as silly as that is, I’ve always really celebrated that. I mean, I’m not a cook or a chef, but that I can make a beautiful poached egg. And so I get really excited when it’s time when someone says in my house, like I want poached eggs. And to me, that’s sort of the essence of it. Right? It’s like, whatever it is, you do really good. Celebrate that and focus on that and be excited about that thing and bring that to whatever it is you’re doing.

Oh my gosh, I think that is the most delicious example I think I have ever heard.

I think it’s hard.

It’s hard to make poached eggs, but I can do it. It was born with that.

And yeah, because where did that come from? Like, were you a master poached eggs chef in your past life? or something? Like I’m fascinated?

Yeah. I mean, that’s what I wonder. Yeah.

Well, and I’ve said this to other women, because like in some some of my Facebook groups, I’ll say that, you know, like, what is your superpower? What is the one thing in the world that you can do better than anyone else? And I do occasionally get answers, like, I have people say, like, I can comfort animals better than anyone else, you know, they just have this strong connection to animals, or I make the best chocolate chip cookies on the planet? Well, if you make that best chocolate chip cookies on the planet, and that brings you joy, then then you can do that to serve the world. Because you can bake cookies and give them away in all kinds of places. Or, you know, even you can start a little cookie business out of it. It’s just it’s fun stuff.

I think that that whole idea of purpose, right gets really heavy, where people are like, I don’t know, that seems like such a big thing. And responsibility, right? Yes. And now I have a lot of other gifts that I actually use in my work. But I’ve been able to, you know, come for the sick kid with a beautiful poached egg. And, you know, share my beautiful poached eggs with others on Instagram, which makes me happy. So, I feel like that’s such a silly example. But I think that we need to really look for just the small things to celebrate, right? We don’t have to it doesn’t have to be this. I am this, you know, this incredible author or this incredible, like, it doesn’t have to be something that seems so. So, so big.

or out of reach. Yeah. Because Because not not every person is meant to host a podcast or become an author or you know, own a business. I think that it’s it’s really wherever you’re at, and just putting your joy, putting your joy and your gifts into it, whatever it is. And when you do that, like your your talent, I think grows your opportunities around you grow. And you know, like, for example, with the cooking thing, a friend of mine, who she just started, like decorating these cookies, and they’re the most I don’t even know how you could get this intricate of a design on a cookie. I mean, there’s so beautiful. And now she’s got them in spas, like right, yeah, within six months of doing this, she has them in spas.

Yeah. Incredible, right. And I think when you get into flow, you get into the thing you’re really good at, and you just go down the path, instead of trying to fight the current right, then all of a sudden opportunities start to open up. So I want to go back. So I want to, I really want to go down the path of, of getting into your book. But there’s so many things I want to talk to you about. So I want to bring it back to that just for a minute. So you’re there you are, you know, you’ve got this debt collection business, you’ve set this intention that whoever talks to you next is going to have a better experience, and they’re going to leave happier than they were when they first got on the phone. And so I’m assuming that you have a whole group of people that you work with, and you’re trying to instill that in them that that’s what they’re going to do too. Am I right?

Oh, yeah, they thought I was nuts.

Right. That’s what I’m thinking that they must have been like, what are you doing? So tell me how that kind of unfolded and how you We’re able to share that with them in a way that got them excited.

Well, you know, because it worked, you know what I mean? Like it worked. And so my team had been, like, I’m so fortunate, in my, like, entrepreneurial journey that I have a very dedicated team. And that’s not an easy thing to come by, just like in general. But in the collection business, there’s a lot of high turnover. So I just have this close knit team of people around me. Now, even prior to this, like light bulb moment, I had always used a sales approach to collections, but the time period here was 2005. And so 2005 was really like the building point of the real estate bubble. And the leverage of collecting debt was changing very rapidly, because people could get mortgages, regardless of what their credit score was, well, this concerned me deeply because people might be getting mortgages, but they might be paying 11% interest. Whereas like, my thought process was, well, if they just pay this $500 And get this, you know, taken care of on their credit report, then they’ll have 6% interest, which in 2005, was actually about average, like 567 percent. And of course, it went much lower after that, but, you know, you got to be in that time period. So we had already been using sales, well, the majority of other debt collection agencies they use, like what I consider very punitive. You know, punishing threatening anxiety producing tact techniques. And so I had never done that. But it was just moving. I think what it was, was, it was just moving from the sales approach, which is determined, you know, like, so for example, when you want to make a sale, your outcome is that you want to make a sale. In other words, you know, so my goal was not to collect the money. My goal was to make the person happy. And so I know that that’s just slightly slightly different. But it was different enough that it changed a lot of stuff, but my team trusted me. And although they might not have known how I was going to do it, and how it was going to come about, and it didn’t all happen overnight. You know, we just started writing scripts. So we started doing what naturally came to us on the phone when we would talk to people. And you know, the the our brains really supported us in figuring out what words to say. And I had been studying like the power of words, because my son is on the autism spectrum. And so I’d already been doing a lot of study into like neuroscience and the nervous system. And what I figured out was like, certain words trigger the fight or flight, and certain words trigger the parasympathetic. And it was like, Well, how can I just because they’re already going to be in a fight or flight. So how, how can I trigger their happiness hormones? Yeah, yeah. And once I figured that out, you know, it was just sort of like hammering out the details from there. But I think the real kind of magic to the story is how did I then take that and turn it into an entire personal development book?

Right, yeah. So let’s get into that. So the book is called conscious communication. And you talk about how you did this and what the steps actually were. Can you tell me a little bit about that?

Sure. So when it came when I got the opportunity for the book, you know, I had sort of had this secret inner desire to be a motivational speaker. And I’d already been teaching on my words that work protocol for a long time at this point, but I wanted to I wanted to be like I wanted to be Louise Hay. Again. I said it I’m like, I’m Louise Hays. protege. That was like my affirmation. Yeah. That’s a big

that’s a big shoes. Oh, Phil. Yeah.

Yeah. So but I,

sometimes before I do a conference call, I will call Louise Hay in to help me. And I always think like, maybe I should go for somebody a little not. Like, she’s probably being called by a lot of people at this point. Right. So

but I think she’s got enough wings to spread. That’s, that’s probably we could we could share her. Yeah.

But just know that if you’re talking to her that I probably am too. So we’re sharing.

So though, so you had this

idea. So and I love that, that that was your F remark. affirmation that you were going to, to to be a Louise Hay.

Yeah. So I just, you know, it just it lined up Really? Right. And I, I just knew so like, for example, if we say that having a debt is a psychological burden. Well, I mean, what is a limiting belief? What is it? What is a barrier belief? It’s a psychological burden. And so it was quite natural for me to talk about what are the other things in our life, that are these barriers? That keeps us from where we’re at, you know, we get in this awkward stage between where we’re at, and where we want to be. And like, my own personal journey was so revealing to me because like, for 10 years, I was walking around saying, I want to write a book, but I’m not a writer. And here’s like, the thing, words are like a mirror to your subconscious. In the words, I want to write a book, it’s like, you can see it written on my soul, that I am supposed to do this. But the words I’m not a writer are completely out of alignment with that dream. And they’re also revealing to me some sort of belief. So even though that belief isn’t about debt, you know, somewhere, some some, you know, something in my past, made me believe that I was not good enough to write this book. Right, right. Yeah. Right. So the solution for that is like, you have to start to invest in yourself. And since you’re reading the book, you can kind of see how the exercises in the book are designed one after another after another to like re structure your belief systems in your subconscious, because that is where the magic is at. And the easiest place for me to do that was with words.

Yeah. Which words I think have a tremendous amount of power. And they are a little peek inside. I had a podcast about a week ago. If someone’s looking for that it is the law of attraction, the two episodes and as I was talking, words, were coming out where it was giving me a peek into what I really think. And I pointed it out, and I said, Oh, my gosh, did you hear that? Because I think it happens all around us. But because we’re not trained to listen for it. It just kind of becomes the the dull background noise of words we always say are things we always say. But really, it’s a huge clue into what’s really happening

behind the scenes, right? Oh, my gosh, that was so brilliant. Because I mean, number one. Yeah, I was saying that for years. And I was so unconscious, that I was even saying it. It wasn’t until other people pointed out to me. Yeah, so I didn’t even know I was saying that because it was completely involuntary. And another thing is, you know, sometimes we kind of say these words about ourselves. And then we laugh. Like, we think we’re we think we’re being sarcastic on ourselves, and like that’s serving us. But it’s, it’s not No, it’s absolutely not. So the thing is, like, I tried to change my thoughts, and I just found that impossible. And you’re so right about the repetitiveness because like, the research that I did for the book shows that we think something like 80,000 90,000 thoughts a day, and 90% of them are exactly the same as the day before. So if we’re able to manifest by getting our thoughts, our words and our actions all in alignment, then you have to have like the one thing you can be in control of, and I could not be in control of my thoughts. So I could be in control of my words, with practice, it did not happen overnight again. But with practice, I could control my words, which allowed me to control my actions, which just then fed back and changed my thoughts.

Yeah, I like that a lot, too. And I do think sometimes when we begin to be aware, then all of the sudden, we can see more instances where the words that we’re using really aren’t good words. And I see that a lot where people will say something and then laugh, as if that makes it Okay, that they just like reinforced that thing in their head. Right? Like, I always gain the same 10 pounds. Haha, right, like, Well, there you go, you know, so, but I think that concept is really hard for people to believe. I think that I, I believe that most, I’m gonna say most people are just living on default. They don’t really think that they have an impact or a direct impact on anything by thinking they think it’s only actions.

Right? Well, that Yeah, but I can tell you, without a doubt, I am so confident about this, that you are programming your subconscious mind with every word that you speak. Hands down, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind. And when I was writing the book one morning, I woke up and I’m sure this happens to you because I don’t know. I don’t know. It sounded kind of crazy to me. But one morning I woke up. And I just had this strong desire to learn the Hebrew alphabet. Yeah, so I woke up and I just had to learn it. So I went to YouTube. And I found this video from this Rabbi that had taped his Hebrew classes and put them on YouTube. So I watched the video and first of all, the Hebrew alphabet thing. It’s fascinating. Like, it’s so fascinating, but I won’t go into that. But he gets 29 minutes into the video and he says the thing which was the reason I knew I was like, lead to that video. Yeah. He said, there’s an ancient word. There’s a word in the English language that we all know, which is the word the magician uses when he pulls the rabbit out of the hat.

Oh, yes, I’ve heard this. Okay. Yeah, well, I’ve probably heard it from your book. Okay, keep going.

Oh, yeah, I think that made it into the book. Yeah. So and I can’t say it with like the rolling H’s in ours like he could because it was like quite beautiful, but he said, the word Abra cadabra is an ancient Aramaic word. That means Oberoi Ah, I will create cadabra as I speak, I will create as I speak Abra cadabra it gives

me chills it gave me chills when I read it and I got chills just knowing you said it.

Yeah, I’m getting chills now to like, I mean, everywhere my neck, my shins, my arms, but like that is a universal truth. And for whatever reason, you know, I part of my purpose as a writer, Speaker teacher, is to bring universal truth to the world. And that sentence, you know, we can make all these complicated rules for law of attraction and we can be the law of attraction language police all we want. But the truth is, and and science is now backing this up. You know, what I had so much fun about with my book is that my intention with the book was that first of all, I wanted it to be a book where science and spirituality meet at a crossroads, to show that they are talking about the same thing using two different languages.

Yeah, that so this is what I think I love so much about you is that so much up my alley, like I will spend two hours a day in meditation and in hearing all of this amazing stuff, but then on my audible is books on the brain, right? So this, like, Crossroads where you live is, is right what I’m so interested in, so I’m fascinated. And after you’re gonna need to tell me other books and things you read.

Yeah, cuz I, I think you and I might be the same person because that’s exactly me. Like, I go away to all of the, you know, retreats, and yoga retreats, and spiritual retreats, and meditation and all of that. But Same thing on my audible on my book list. It’s like somebody just sent me a book the other day called subliminal, you know, I’m so into neuroscience and even I love Okay, one of my favorite things is I love the teachers from 100 years ago. So like, right now, my big obsession is Florence. scovel Shinn, who was sort of like Louise Hays predecessor, okay? Yep. And it’s all about words. It’s it. Her book was called the complete game of life and how to play it. And it’s all about speaking the word. She called it speaking the word. And it’s like my book. It’s like this woman wrote my book in 1925. She just didn’t have all the neuroscience to back it up, or caramel Honza Yogananda You know, when you if you’ve ever seen his documentary called awake? Yes, yeah. He talks about the subconscious, like grooves on our record. And that the needle, you know, hits the groove and then plays the music. And he describes that so perfectly that our subconscious is like the grooves on the record player. But here’s the thing in 1918, when he said that, we didn’t have neuroscience ease to even know that there was subconscious neural pathways in our brain, right? Yeah,

yeah, I’ve read just this past summer, I read The Master Key System, which is another one that’s 100 years old, and a book by William Atkinson, which is even a little bit older than that one. And it it actually talks about how thought, you know, it’s it uses the term, like thoughts become things. And so I feel like this is something that we’ve known for so long. And I feel like we’ve turned our back to it at some point in our history, because life, right, because we started focusing on other things, but there were these people that knew. And now I believe it’s coming back to us where people are becoming more awake to this technology and how to actually use their brains to create a life that they really want. You know, it was funny, because yesterday, I was driving down the street in I live outside Atlanta, and the cost of living in Atlanta is is pretty inexpensive, you know, especially compared to other areas of the country. And so I have I have a beautiful home. I’m very, very, very lucky. But as I drove down the road, I saw another beautiful home that was beautiful color. And it had a gate and all of that and I thought oh Now, I really don’t want to move like It Wasn’t that but I immediately saw that and I thought, that’s awesome. That’s a beautiful Isles. I wonder what it’s like to live in there. I could never live in that immediately. But I heard it. And it was like, I was so proud of myself because I was like, wow, like, I really don’t want to live in that house. But I want the option. And I just cut off the option

by telling myself but you could never have that.

Right. And so I think becoming aware, the more that we can become aware, like, I just celebrated that like, whoo, I just noticed that.

Like, now I can change it, because now I’m aware.

Right? And I yes. Oh my gosh, yeah, we definitely have a lot in common and for sure. Because how many other times have you had that that limiting thought or that barrier? Because what’s interesting is there’s somewhere deep down inside you that knows or that believes that that particular home, or that particular lifestyle that that home represents is unobtainable for you. So it might you know, just because you get the the moment of awareness, it still takes a little bit of work. But like my advice, so if you and I were like, best girlfriends sitting at the coffee shop, yeah, like I would I would be all over this, by the way, because this is just my cup of tea or my cup of coffee. Yeah. But I would say to you, well, how can that house be yours? Like, what would it take? I had the exact same thing happened to me years and years ago, before I was divorced, there was this house that I wanted, and I was in my 20s. And this house was $300,000. And I wanted this house so bad. And I just like sat down with a piece of paper. And I said, Okay, if I want this house, like how can I make that happen? What needs to be true? In order for that house to be mine? Well, I needed a certain amount of money each month to make the payment. You know, I needed like, I just wrote down all the things. And within two years of within two years of making that list, I had a home that was exactly the same price. It wasn’t the same home, but it was exactly the same price. Which for me, that was a high ticket like for our area. Yeah, in that time period. That was a very high ticket home. Yeah. And so yeah, it’s like, you can have anything you want. But you have to put it on your menu, Betsy. And so what you did when you made that statement, was you did not put it on your menu?

Yeah,

yeah. Like I basically said, that menu is for somebody else.

Right? That’s not my menu. Yeah, that’s not your menu. And so all you have to do is first put it on your menu so that it’s available to you. And then, you know, if if it’s kind of like if you really wanted to pursue it, you could start using actually, there’s plenty of tools in the book. And I know in that Master Key System there are as well, like how you can make that true. Sometimes though, you just pass by something. And it was kind of like a fleeting moment, like, you know, bright, shiny, I like it. But yeah, yeah, yeah,

I want to I would like to move that home to the beach. And so I will add that one to my menu.

Yeah, cuz like next week, you might want to live in a tree hut, right? Yes.

So you know, what’s funny is this morning, because it’s, you know, we’re recording this right before Thanksgiving. And so, my husband is an attorney, but he went in a little bit later today. And so you know, it was like, kind of vacation mode around here. Sir. Usually every morning, I have a routine, right? I get up and I take care of the dogs and my kid and all of those things. But today, he did it. So I slept in. And so I actually did a Facebook Live about that this this morning, and I talked about you because

you were in my morning, my morning. So I wouldn’t see

it. So I thought you know what, right now I don’t have a routine. So instead, why don’t I imagine the greatest thing that could ever ever, ever happen? Today?

Right? Oh, so I love that. Yeah. So

instead of starting my day with your teen I ever started my day with imagination. And I got crazy girl, you and I are going on vacation at some point.

Well, yeah, we are.

But where are we going? But it

was so fun. We’re actually going on a yoga retreat in Bali. So it was very cool.

I was silently jumping up and down like, oh, but yeah, so I get it. You know,

and I got to the point where I was like, I don’t know if any of what I imagined today, which was really far out will ever happen. But it was so fun to have that like 15 minutes

where I really like got into it and thought through it.

Yeah, so can I like tell you my pro tips on how to make your vision a reality?

Yeah, let’s do that. Yeah.

So I love this. This is like, this is my superpower right here is how can We all have infinite possibilities available to us. And I think that, you know, by now we accept that we know that, you know, we can make anything happen. But again, it’s like, what’s the difference between a possibility and a probability? Like, what’s the difference between knowing that you can have that house and actually making that house happen? Or the Bali yoga retreat? Which is so on my bucket list? Girl? Yeah. So yeah, so it’s like, but also understand that the terminology infinite possibilities, doesn’t necessarily mean that the good things happen, because possibility is a spectrum of everything beyond your wildest dreams, to your to your worst fears. Right, right. And, and what I learned, and this was like, the central theme of the book is that every choice you make every word you say, every action, you take everything that comes out of your mouth, in the thinnest sliced moments of life. So in that moment, when you drove by the house, yeah, in that moment, when you are having the visualization, everything you do is either cleansing you or clogging you. And what I’m really talking about is and if you’ve, if you’ve read past chapter five, then you know this, but it’s like, everything you do, is either creating a deeper connection to what you want, or it’s driving a disconnection. So if we take like your relationship with your Mr. Attorney, husband, yeah. And I say everything you say, or do and this relationship is either cleansing it or clogging it. It’s so easy to understand that example. Yeah, yeah. Like we don’t, we don’t need a complicated rulebook to get this. If I’m on a diet, and I want to lose those aforementioned 10 pounds, instead of gaining them. I can look at a piece of food and I can say, will this cleanse me or clog me? Right? And you know, in the book, I really stress that if you can 80% of the time, make cleansing connected choices, so and you’re always making choices that are in alignment with going to Bali. It’s amazing how quickly you find yourself there. Hmm,

yeah, yeah. So it’s really in those little I actually got that in a meditation not too long ago that it’s in the nuances is what I heard. It’s in the nuances. It’s not in the major decisions.

It’s the nuances.

Yeah, like I said, the the thinnest sliced moments of life. Yeah, like the little, you know, that little moment. And, and I like to think of examples, but like, for example, one morning, a friend of mine texted me like on Facebook, and he said, Hey, you want to go get a cup of coffee with him, and I would get coffee all the time. So I had a choice to make, right? I could either stay in my warm bed, or I could get up and go, go have coffee. Well, luckily, like I can’t hardly function without coffee. So I was like, Sure. Well, we ended up sitting there for three hours, like a brainstorming session and came up with enough ideas to feed both of our businesses for an entire year.

Ah, I love that. And I love friends like that.

Well, and so if we think about like the thin slicing, it’s that momentarily, that momentary decision, led to tons of ideas that most by now have manifested into reality. So it’s like, every time you take one step in a new direction, you just open 10,000 new possibilities for yourself.

Yeah, I like that. Yes. Because once you move one place, then a whole other door opens full of other options.

It’s so true.

Yeah. This is, this has been amazing. So tell everybody where they can find you? And where, where we can find your book?

Well, I’m so glad you asked. I have a website like everybody does. But mine is Mary shores.com. So it’s sh o r s.com. And I am, I have free gifts on that website, by the way. So I love to give away free things. We’ve got like free affirmation cards, there is a there’s a personal development challenge called ignite your dreams. And we also have a free guidebook for conscious communication. So you can download all of those freebies, and check back because periodically we add stuff to it. And then the book is available on amazon.com. Or honestly anywhere they sell books. Barnes and Noble has been especially nice to me. So I always like to, you know, remind people to go in their local Barnes and Noble store and see if the book is there. And if not, you know, just ask for it. Yeah, and then Facebook is a great way to interact. I mean, I’m on all social media, but I feel like we’re the most active on Facebook because we have a gratitude group that is women only but it’s called declaring gratitude. And we also have I have a Facebook group called fearless ambition. And we just put daily prompts in both of them. So it’s super fun. And I’m active in both groups.

Okay, great. And I’ll put links to all that inside the show notes. So if someone is looking and wants just to be able to get there easily, I’ll make sure to make that easy.

Well, but you have to promise to like, tag me somehow in this Facebook Live because I want to watch it. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So thank

you so much, Mary, I appreciate you coming on. It was really an honor to get to talk to you today. I think so much of you. And I love your book. And I’ve learned so much from it. And it’s just you’re so fun to watch. So thank you so much for coming on the show with me today.

Thank you, Betsy.

Thanks for spending some time with me today. Remember, you can find me inside my facebook group at SS lB community.com that stands for start small with big community.com. And as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

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Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.

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