118: Setting Goals Your Subconscious Likes

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Today’s episode starts to round out our series on the subconscious. This has been so much fun to share with you all over the past few weeks. I hope that it has served you and you’ve been able to create some shifts in your life.

The pattern for the NLP well-formed outcomes is as follows:

1. what do I want the outcome to be?
2. how will i know?
3. what will i hear, see, feel?  Who will I have this result with?
4. What stops us from having the desired outcome already?
5. what are my resources?

Transcription:

You’re listening to Episode 118, of the art of living beg. We’re in the middle of a series on your subconscious. And this is the third episode of that series. So you could listen to this episode. But it wouldn’t make sense unless you listened to Episode 116 and 117. Or it might make some sense. But it won’t nearly be as impactful because you won’t understand the full representation of what we’re talking about. So this series is really about a journey to understand yourself better and to tap into your subconscious. And so I would really love for you to have the whole experience. So if you haven’t already, please go back, listen to Episode 116 and 117. They’re short, my episodes are short, it won’t take you long. This one is going to be a little bit longer, I think. But I want to wrap it all up in one episode. Just kidding. I didn’t end up doing them on the same episode, simply because it was too much content. And I wanted you to be able to be in a place that was quiet when you did the second part, the timeline. And I wanted the timeline to be easy to find. So two episodes, but there’ll be released at the same time. So when you’re done with this episode, you can move right on to the next one. And hopefully that makes it easier for you. So if you have already listened to those episodes, we’ll

welcome back.

And I’m really excited to share with you today. This sort of like banality like bringing it all together. So we’re gonna do a little time travel. So I’m excited to get started. But first, I want to thank Allegheny G, for leaving me a review on iTunes. It says, which I actually really love this review. It says, I found this podcast by accident, but not really. I manifested this podcast, she is really good at explaining and walking you through the basics of how things work. She’s also funny, thank you, and it makes it enjoyable. Check it out, guys. You won’t regret it. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. The reviews actually means so much to me, not only because it’s like nice to hear that people like what you’re doing. But also because it helps me get better guests. And it’s great for people who might just like stumble upon the show. And then wonder, Is this even worth my time listening? And then they see the reviews? And they think yes. And so it helps me be able to reach more people and to help them too. So thank you. Thank you so much. Now on with the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show, we have been on a series learning more about understanding and communicating with our subconscious. So today, I actually want to talk with you a little bit about goals, and how to install those goals into your future so that your subconscious is already aware of it. And it’s ready to do the things to make that goal happen right now. So this show is going to be two parts I thought about, like dividing it because I think it’s going to be kind of long, but I want to get it all done in one. So that you can actually have this full experience. So in the first part, we’re going to create the goal. And then in the second part, we’re going to time travel. And for the time travel, you’re going to want to be in a quiet place with your eyes closed. So you know, probably not driving a car,

but you can listen in now. And then you can

always come back to do the exercise later. So but please do them along with me. Because it really will make a difference. So don’t just listen. Like, if you’re driving in the car, don’t just listen and then think I’ll come back and do it.

And even

Well, it’s up to you. But don’t even let me get to that part. Just Just stop it and come back. Because honestly, if you could do it the first time actually do it, then I think it will have a bigger impact. And that’s that’s really what I want. And I want it to be like super effective for you. So you’re like holy cow. So like next year at this time, I want to be getting messages going, holy cow that really worked. So Alright, so let’s get it. Let’s get on with it here. So I’ve always talked about like creating this really clear vision for your life. And in fact, now that I say this, I think in the very first episode when I talk about how I even decided to do the podcast and my sort of my little journey, I talked about how I woke up one morning and I created a really, really detailed vision for my

life. And it’s actually

something that I talk about when I speak on stage. And I’ve used my own example over and over and over again of this moment where I woke up one day and was just like, I’m not going to live like this anymore, what would be great and it became super clear to me what would be great. But as I work with more and more people I’m realizing and even realizing now for myself because it’s been several years that sometimes that clarity can be really hard to come by. So We generally do know what we don’t like in our lives. But to understand what we actually want in our lives takes another level of awareness. And that awareness takes effort. And sometimes, when we’re really stressed or we’re unhappy, it’s effort that we just don’t want to put in, and that we might not even have the energy for. But when we can take this awareness, another step, and involve our subconscious, so that those dreams really start to come true is when magic really can start to happen. And that’s when it lightens your load and starts to make life fun again. So how great would it feel to have your subconscious doing work for you, so that you

don’t have to work as hard.

So if you can get that idea of what you’d really love to have in your life, and how you’d like things to be, and just have that moment where you’re like, I’m gonna put forth the energy to do this. So as we go through this episode, you know, maybe it’s time where you’re you, you tell your family,

I’m going to have some time out, I need, like,

you know, you could do this in an hour. But if you want to get really detailed, maybe two hours, and you light some candles, you know, you get get some tea, or a cocktail, you know, whatever you like, and, and just spend some time on you like figuring this out, right? Because for your subconscious to actually help you, we have to be really specific, and it has to be compelling. So, you know, like, maybe you’d like more money. That’s one I hear about a lot. So I’d like more money. And I say get specific. So people say like, Well, I’d like more money in my checking account. So your subconscious hears that. And it says, you know, give her one more penny in our checking account. I mean, right, that’s more money, right? Your subconscious wants to do what you say. And so it sees the one more Penny and says, Yes, we’ve done it, we’re done. We did what she wanted. And now we’re finished, we’re all complete. What’s next, it wants to complete it. And it’s also lazy. So it wants to complete it as quick as it possibly can. And so we have to be extremely specific and clear on our outcome.

So we’re

going to get way more specific and in a pattern that your subconscious really likes and can relate to, when we do this, you’re going to start to notice that the universe is going to respond right away, you’ll start noticing little things that you should do next, or a book or an idea or a person will come into your life that you just know is the next right step. And when you take action on that, which is key, then the next great step will respond after that. You may have heard me on Instagram, I posted something one day on my Instagram stories about how I wasn’t a big huge fan of smart goals. Have you ever heard of smart goals. So it’s like Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant time bound, that caused a little bit of a conversation, I got actually a lot of messages about that. And it’s not that I think SMART goals are bad, I don’t think it means that if you set up SMART goals that you won’t achieve what you want to achieve. But as a coach, I think I owe you more than just giving you a SMART goal, that you could just learn how to do on the internet, right? So I have two ways that I prefer. And the one I’m going to go through today is an NLP process of defining your outcome. And at the end, is the second way, which is what something I called Chase, I’m going to explain that.

How To find out more about that.

So as we start this whole process, I want you to understand that this goal that you have in mind, that you may already be thinking of as I’m going, you’re worthy of it. The word desire has a Latin root that means of the Father. And I believe that if you have a desire for something, that it doesn’t come from you, but it comes through you. And it is meant for you. We hold ourselves back or we think we’re not worthy. And so often we don’t move towards our goals at all. Or we do so with this, like underlying belief that it couldn’t ever really happen. Like I’m going to kind of half assed go towards this goal, but I don’t think it’s really meant for me, like, is success meant for other people? Right, that’s sort of how you think about some of your big goals. And that’s just not true. And I can’t convince you on this podcast that it is true or or I would spend more time here, but by doing your goals in a whole new way. And by giving your subconscious something new to consider. You can begin to shift the needle and start to design your life in a whole new way in a way that makes things seem more possible for you. The outcome of your life is up to you and is your responsibility. You can’t give this power to somebody else if you choose to but that is your choice in the making. This is your opportunity to take that back and create something that comes through you And is deeply you, and your desires and your wants for your life. So let’s get a goal in mind. What is something that you would like to have happen within one year’s time? It’s August, right now as I’m recording this. So next year, as school is about to start, or we just had school start so as school is starting, where do you want to be? Think of just one area of your life and only go one year ahead. So we’re not doing five year goals or 10 year goals here just one year out? Where would you really like to reasonably be in one year, so pick an area. So it might be your health, it might be relationships with family and friends. It might be a romantic relationship, or your career or finances, spirituality, self development, whatever it is, just pick one area that you want to focus on? And what would you want your outcome

to be?

So as you think about this, I want you to think, what is the last thing, the last step that would happen? Right, before I knew that this was accomplished? So let’s just say you want to make $100,000 this year? What would be the last thing that you would see or do or feel, or smell or taste right? Before you knew that this was accomplished?

So maybe you would open up your online bank account? And you would see $100,000 in the deposits? And then you would know? So get really clear on that vision? What does it look like? What is the thing? Where would you like to be? What is happening one year from now, that makes you go, I am successful in whatever area you chose? Now, I want you to make it just a little bit more specific. So here’s an example. So my subconscious hears like $1,000 or a million dollars or $100,000, whatever it is. And it sort of glosses over it. Right? I mean, think about this when What do you feel when I say I made and I didn’t want you to think I’m saying this, but when I say this, I made a million. Let me I’m stopping myself. Oh, I’m going to rephrase this. I haven’t done this yet. Okay, so I haven’t done this yet. But I want to say this so that you hear it. I made a million dollars last year. Right. So you’re kind of like it feels sort of vanilla doesn’t it’s like, but now imagine how you feel when I say I made $1,000,111 and 54 cents last year? Ooh, it’s way more interesting, right? Something you can kind of grab on to your subconscious doesn’t like gloss over that it goes it’s like something to stick its teeth in. So if it’s weight loss, or it’s inches lost, what’s the weight when you step on the scale, define what that is, but be really specific. I mean, go to the ounce, go to the centimeter get really specific and don’t make it like a million. Don’t make it 10 pounds. Make it 10.001. So make it specific.

Okay.

Now, I want you to to make the time that it’s accomplished, really specific. So today’s August 10. So I would like to see my goal achieved. It’s next year, I want to go August 8, because it’s eight, eight, and I like that. So 819 at 5:55am. Because I like the fives. And that would mean first thing in the morning, I would know. Okay, so I want you to make the time that it’s accomplished, really specific. So pick your date, and pick your exact time. Now I want you to envision that goal, again, with this new specificity. So take that final step, what would be I have this goal, I want to do this. The last thing that would happen before I knew it was accomplished would be this, like I would step on the scale, I would open my bank account, I would whatever that thing is, what is the thing you would do right before you knew it was accomplished. And now I want you to get really clear on that. I want you to notice what you see a look around. I want you to notice what you hear.

And I want you to notice what you feel.

And now I want you to notice the clock above your head and I want you to look at the time now or on your phone. You can look at the clock on your phone, in your mind’s eye. Notice the time so now what I want you to do with that vision. And we’re gonna go through this in steps but I just am getting we’re laying this out. Okay, so with that video You have this idea of what it is you’re doing right before you know the thing is done. You know what time it is, you know the date. And now I want you to make it really nice and bright. I want you to make the colors really vivid. And I want to make sure you are associated. So you’re seeing it through your own eyes, right. And you feel that excitement as you know that you’ve reached this goal, because you are experiencing the exact thing that you knew you would experience right before you knew it was done. Now, when you think about this end result in this moment, right before you know it’s done, like I’m cracking open my laptop and logging into the bank. When you look at that person, and consider where she or he is right now, when you’re looking at yourself, and you’re like I did it, I’m here. What resources do you have right now in today that could help you reach that goal? Do you know someone who’s already achieved this goal, you could ask questions to? Can you think of any resources that they have? So what are they have? Do they have something that you don’t have? Do they have something that you need? Do they have something that you need to get? Do they have belief? Is their belief different than yours? What about their training? Do they have a different kind of training? What about the resources that you have? That maybe they don’t? What else do you need to get in terms of your resources to really make this goal come true for you? Now, if you don’t have any idea of what resources you’d need, then let me ask you this, if you did know what you’d need, what would they be? My daughter hates when I asked this question. But it’s really powerful. You see, the reason is because the answers are already inside you. Your subconscious already knows what you need, and it already knows you have it, and it already has it and it’s already ready to deliver it to you. But it’s just not in your conscious awareness. And so when you can ask the question like that, well, if I did know, what would it be, then I can step out of the darkness. And I can step in to something bigger than I have been. So let’s go over this formula. Again, because this is just an NLP formula. So what do I want the outcome to be? How will I know? What will I hear, see or feel? How will I feel? And then what are my resources? So I’m going to put this list in the shownotes. And if you can just fill it out as you go, and I’ll put the actual output, it is now blank and I have am blank. I know this because I see blank, I hear blank, I feel blank. And I have achieved this because I blank. So for me, I’m going to share one of mine with you. Okay, so one of mine is what do I want the outcome to be? Next year at this time? I want to have made $200,000. I’m going to get specific about it though. Hang on. So this is my process as I walked through, how will I know is that I’ll see it in my bank account. So what will I hear, feel or see? Well, I really want to be traveling. So like all next summer, I really want to be traveling for like two to three weeks at a time going to different places. So when I imagine this, I imagine I’m in my laptop, I’m on a balcony overlooking the ocean in some condo that I’ve rented or an Airbnb, and I can feel the ocean breeze. I can hear Craig walking up behind me, I turn around to tell him I can hear the excitement in his voice. I can feel all the people that I’ve helped there with me. And I know that the money is simply a representation of lives and an energy exchange. I hear Craig’s voice and he says, I know you could do it. And I look and I see all the kids that I’ve impacted with my live in big

program.

That’s when it gets really real for me when I think how many kids could I help help me? I don’t know if you know this if you’re new to the show, but I 10% of all my coaching goes to different charities but the one that I’ve been doing most recently and often is a charity that helps kids in Uganda that have club feet, okay, so every time I give to them, they send me like updates and I said I get to pay for all of their castings, all their surgeries, and it’s profoundly impactful to me. So that’s what I feel I feel myself going out logging on and being able to give this huge amount to them. And then knowing that it’s zipping through time and going right to the people that need to be need to be helped and I’m getting emails and I can hear the emails, dinging of the pictures of the kids that we’re getting that we’re going to be able to help. So how I’ll feel is I feel really excited, motivated, for more expanded and really grateful. I don’t feel like that’s the end, I feel like this is just getting cooking. Okay, and then what are my resources. So I’m smart, and I like to share my ideas. I’m overshare, actually, but I like it. I have a podcast where I can share and I can build an audience that way. And those people can decide if they believe that I can help them. And if they want more, and I have access to more and more training, and I have a supportive family, a supportive husband, a supportive schedule, I’ve gone through some really freaking hard things in the past. And I know that I’m strong and capable of more than I used to believe. And I know I can pass that on to other people. I know how to access my subconscious for success. And I have access to the internet. So I can travel where I want, and still be able to run my business. I write books. I don’t know if you guys know this, I’ve written two books. And I have always developed those writing skills. And so coming up with new book ideas, is something that’s simple for me. I have worked through loads of energy blocks. And I think I’m pretty good at marketing myself. Okay, so then those are my things those when I filled out my little, my little answers to all my little questions, those were my answers. So if I put it all together in the format that I’m going to share in the show notes, this is what it looks like. It is now 5:55am on August 8 2019. And I have earned $200,111 and 54 cents, net income through my coaching, online programs, books. And speaking. I know this, because I see the amount in my online bank account. And I’ve gotten the alert steadily coming into my email have more and more people joining my programs online. And I’ve gotten emails from them saying how much my training has impact their lives, I can hear the ocean in my ears, and I can hear the excitement in my family’s voices. As I know, they know I’ve reached a goal to impact more people and I have succeeded. I feel so excited for what’s to come motivated for more and expanded in my current space. I know I have been able to achieve this because I have worked on my own internal blocks, I have amazing things to share. And I have a firm desire to help people shift their lives. And I have support and knowledge to back me up. Now, if you notice, there is a SMART goal in there. So don’t hate SMART goal. Totally. I just think it can be done in a way that is much more compelling, and interesting to your subconscious. When we have goals that are set up in a way that we feel like we understand how to work towards them. And what we’re actually working towards we feel happier, like we have purpose in our lives. So being specific is super important. You know, sometimes people will come to me and they’ll say, Well, I have a goal, I’m going to lose 10 pounds. Okay, well, that sounds like a snooze, right? Or I have a goal. And I’m going to pay off my debt. What, like, come on, we got to get super compelling to our subconscious. Because remember, our 5% is our consciousness, and we cannot rely on that to carry us through. Because over this next year, as I work towards this goal, it’s not always going to be easy. It’s not always going to be simple. And I’m going to have to have something more than just, I’m gonna earn 200,000 like, That just sounds awful, right? Alright. So now if you want to create five year goals, or 10 year goals, start with this one year and then think well, what would be the next right goal after that, like what would be the next right goal for the second year and the third year. And the problem I think with trying to reach too far ahead and going like I’m setting a five year goal, or a 10 year goal is that so many things shift as you reach your goals along the way. So you know, maybe you just want to try one and see what’s shifting and adapting. But you can shift and adapt as you reach goals like I might reach this goal before next year.

That’s okay,

then I can make another goal. So I can just continue to move forward. I don’t have to. I don’t have to wait until the date that I’ve set. But I’m knowing that I’m moving towards that. And that that’s the destination which is what is most important to my subconscious. Now, as soon as you hit those goals, create new ones, but let’s take this one year goal that you have right now. And let’s chunk that down into smaller goals. So I really like the mini goals. So we’ve got the one year we’re gonna chunk it down to make it super doable. So I like to look at this and go okay, if I was going to be there in 12 months, where would I need to be in 10 months? in eight months? What about six months? Three months, one month, and then I go even smaller, and I go one week, and then every day. Now you could divide this up, if you have a money goal like I do, like, you could divide that up by, by money and say, how much would I have to make every single day? I for me, I like to divide it up by people. So I take the amount that I want to make. And then for me, it’s fun to like, divide that up into, like, if 80% was coaching, and, you know, 10% was online and 10% was speaking, or however that is what is, and doesn’t have to be perfect. But how many people would I be impacting, so then I could go, then it makes it a whole lot more fun for me, because it seems real money seems a little, I still have some money, where I’m like, money isn’t bad. But I, it feels a little you feel, I think you feel me. So it feels a little funky to me. And that’s something I’m really trying to work through. Because I know that my money is simply an energetic exchange with helping people. For me, it’s more helpful for me to divide it into the people that I’m helping, okay, so that just makes it more fun. For me, it makes it more compelling. So, so divide that up, create mini goals, and maybe set up reasons to celebrate. So if I can get to such and such a place at three months, cool, this is what I’m going to do as a celebration. And then ask yourself, if I were to hit that goal for one month or three months, what would my task list look like? So this is also where I think SMART goals sort of falls off. So I have a formula that I created called Chase. And it helps you actually define your actions. Because many times we’re like, ah, like I have this goal, but I don’t know what the heck my actions will be. I actually wrote a book about it, it’s called start small, live big, but you can get the chase worksheet. And in the whole process, like I explain it for free on my website, just go to the Tools section. So do this first part first. And then if you’d like to continue and break it down, then go ahead and get the chase worksheet and work on that. So as you do this, remember, you don’t have to know at all, in fact, you don’t know at all, if you didn’t know it all, you’re already be there, right? You don’t know it all, you don’t know the path, you don’t know the house, and you don’t really need to. But sometimes it makes us feel better to have some tasks to get going. But here’s the thing, you’re going to get going and then things are going to go awry. And that’s okay. So remember that the universe is going to be bringing ways to you. So sometimes I will do my chase worksheet, I use those all the time in my daily life. And I’ll do one and I’ll have a list of tasks or a list of things to delegate or whatever. And then something new comes into my awareness, I am totally fine following the universe and ditching my my chase worksheet. That is okay, the chase worksheet is simply to get me into action, because that’s when things start to become defined for me, okay. So make sure that you have this goal and the breakdown written down someplace that you can, like, follow along throughout the days and weeks and months ahead. So keep it in your planner or whatever. And then the next thing I’m going to say is going to count sign is going to sound a little odd, but then I want you to just detach from it from the strictness that you might feel around it. So remember, this road is not linear, it is not going to follow the one month, three months, six months, it’s not going to follow that you’re just

trying to our our consciousness likes to have something next, and I want you to get into action, which is why I want you to do that. But just remember that things are gonna happen. And you know, we’re really doing this so that we can start a path. And then as we get, you know, when mistakes happen or things happen, or even if you shift your goal and you’re like I really thought I wanted that. But as I’m experiencing more and more, I’m getting contrast, and I’m realizing that’s not really what I want. Now, if you listen to the show, and you’ve been listening to the show for a while, then you know my love of the beach. So I’m going to say something that is gonna make you gasp or maybe not. It made me gasp, but we went to the beach last week. And we were at the beach and all of a sudden, I mean, I almost started crying and I said I don’t want to move to the beach. And my husband looked at me like I had lost my ever loving mind because all have talked about for I don’t know, probably 13 years literally, literally. But all of a sudden I realized I want to be at the beach, and I want to be able to come to different beaches and so I really want to be able to work remotely for like two to three weeks from different places. So like, I don’t want to always go to the same beach house. And I think that I would like to live like in a city where I have access to lots of stuff, and access to an airport where I can get out. So my goal that I’ve had literally, I’ve had a countdown on my phone since my daughter was maybe like in third grade, and she’s in high school. So all of a sudden, like this, I was like, this is a goal and a dream I’ve had, but my dream shifted, because I got contrast and clarity. And that is okay. And that might happen to you. So it’s awesome. It’s really good. So this is why it’s wonderful that the universe does not just give us what we want the moment we say we want it because I would be living at the beach and possibly unhappy. Although when I say that, that seems impossible, but still, you hear what I’m saying. So be open for the journey to don’t get sidetracked or discouraged. And when you feel like you’re off the path, or have missed a goal, then understand that the universe is simply realigning things and it’s working in your favor, to figure out how to make this process faster for you. Go with it, stay open and keep looking for signs on the path because maybe it’s a new path, the outcome, the vision for what you see, right before you know, you have the thing that’s going to stay steady. Okay, so the vision, you created that goal, everything else is going to start to rearrange around that as you go. And that’s okay. You’re giving your subconscious mind in order with your setting of the goal. And that’s what your subconscious wants. It says, tell me what you want. And then makes us feel better or 5% consciousness to create a path. And then we follow as we can and we follow the signs from the universe. Now what I want you to do now that you have this goal is every day I want you to spend a few minutes envisioning the end result, but there’s a trick to it. So what I want you to do is I want you to run through it just as if you’re a movie, just like we talked about, where you can feel it, you can hear it, you can smell it, you can taste it, all of those things, really get into it, get into that feeling of excitement. And then I want you to step outside of it as if you’re watching yourself in a movie. Because your subconscious is trying to get you everything you want. So you say I want more money. And then you’re walking along the parking lot and you see a penny on the ground and you reach down and pick up the penny and you see the penny through your own eyes because you’re doing it. Your subconscious goes up. We did it. We did what she asked, good, we’re done what’s next. So I want you to disassociate, remove yourself from the vision and watch yourself as if you’re in a movie. And what that’s telling your subconscious is, this is what I want. This is what it feels like. But I don’t have it yet.

Okay, so that’s super important.

All right. So that is the goal portion. So now let’s get into part two of this training, which is putting this whole thing into our timeline. So here’s the thing, I’ve had a total meltdown just now because this episodes already, like 30 minutes, and I like to keep the episodes like short and easy for you to listen to in the car or whatever.

So here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna release

the next episode, it’s gonna all be released at the same time, but I’m gonna do them in two separate episodes. And the reason is simply because the next part you need to like be quiet and sitting. And if you’re driving, I don’t want you to have to like come back and try to fast forward try to figure out where the next episode starts. So that makes sense. So I’m going to do the timeline in the next episode.

Okay. I hope that that’s okay. All right.

Thank you. I know that that seems like a weird thing to get worked up

about but I really want to make

it easy for you guys. So thank you for listening and because ease I believe

that is how you live a big life.

How do you like that? Alright, you guys. I will see you in the next episode.

And

yeah, alright, here’s a little message from my husband as always.

That’s it.