216: Clarifying a Yes or a No. - Betsy Pake

216: Clarifying a Yes or a No.


Let’s talk about how to really know if it’s a YES or a NO so that you can be taking aligned action toward your overarching goal and not getting sidetracked spinning your wheels.

Here are the questions I talked about:

Get clear on what areas you really want to shift and how committed you are. Where do you want to see things going? How do those things show up in your life? What’s next for you in each of these areas. How do you want to be seen in these areas? What do you do once you are there? How does this shift your everyday work experience? How do you shine in trouble comes? What do you do when things slow down. How do you respond to overwhelm? 

Decide. Make these decisions for your life so you don’t drop into default and get stuck playing out some version of yourself you no longer want to see. Some version that you picked up and assimilated from someone else. 

What would the purest essence of you do in each of these situations? How would she react? Decide and stay [laying out this new story in a way that positively impacts you toward your desired future right now. Start now. Start today. Do this today and now.

You can create whatever it is you want to and the portal is open for you to do that with ease right now but you’ve got to have a clear understanding of what you want and are doing.

Don’t get sidetracked by other things. This is important too for your moving forward and balance in the future.

Here’s the link to my training: www.subconsciousworkshop.com

Here’s the link to my calendar: www.betsypake.com/letstalk


Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Welcome to today’s show.

So it’s Friday again.

So Friday’s must be my day, I’m gonna shoot for Thursday’s knowing the Friday it will come out. And here’s why. If you’re new here, I only share when something comes to me to share. So I don’t want to just share something because it’s the day to have to share something. And so I really wait until there is like something that lets me know, this is the thing that everybody needs to hear. And for me, if you are, if you follow me on Instagram or friends on Facebook, you saw that I posted yesterday morning, Thursday morning, I had some thoughts on what I was going to share and found out that a friend of mine had passed away. And it was pretty set in and sad. And I really struggled yesterday, I had some space on my calendar. And so I just blocked it off. And I just, you know, did a lot of self care, I guess, you know, I did a lot of thinking I did a lot of journaling. I did a lot of talking to her. And really got clear on what it is that I needed to learn. You know, right now I think in the world, there’s so much change, and so much shifting, it can be really overwhelming. And I know for me, it’s almost as if


I’m gonna use the word novelty just for lack of a better word, so bear with me. But like the novelty of the Coronavirus, like being quarantined and being home has sort of worn off. And now I find myself getting really antsy. And there’s just so much happening in the world and so much energy and so many things shifting, and really having to rearrange my thoughts and reevaluate the things that I’ve been


And I also feel like, for a lot of us there is this portal of change this opportunity to really call in what it is that you really want, like your deepest desires, the things that maybe you haven’t dared to, to say to yourself, you know, the things that you haven’t dared to actually bring to the light, but you knew they were they’re sort of hovering underneath. But now all things that have been hovering underneath are coming to the light. And I think this is a really important time to be able to get clear. You know, every morning, I have a journaling practice where I write down all of the things that have been coming to me, like thoughts that I’ve had first thing in the morning, even negative thoughts, like I write down everything that is on my mind, in order to acknowledge it and see if there’s something that needs to be healed or moved. And then I just ask, what is it that I need to know today?

And I try to be

quiet, I think of it like toggling down, right? So just trying to listen to that inner voice. So that deeper wisdom that can come through me. And you know, sometimes it takes a little bit I have to sit there for a minute until something comes that you know, doesn’t feel necessarily like me, you know, or like my voice, but it seems always right. Always truthful, always positive. And it was interesting, because today, I did that very thing. And I asked what I needed to know. And quickly. A lot of things came out but they were questions, a lot of questions. And so I wanted to share those questions for you before we really get started on what I really wanted to share today.

And I’ll put those in the show notes. But in the event

that you have something that’s been bubbling up

something that’s been wanting to come forward, and maybe these questions will help you too. So here are the questions. Get clear on what areas you really want to shift and how committed you are. Where do you want to see things going?

How did those things show up in your life?

What’s next for you in each of these areas? So like once you hit that thing, what would be next? How do you want to be seen in these areas? What do you do once you’re there? How does this shift your everyday work experience? How do you shine when trouble comes? What do you do when things slow down? How do you respond to overwhelm? Decide, make these decisions for your life so that you don’t fall into default and get stuck

playing out some version of yourself. You no longer want to see some version that you picked out. And assimilated from someone


What would the purest essence of you do in each of these situations? How would she react, decide, and stay, laying out this new story in a way that positively impacts you towards your desired future right now, start now start today, do this today. And now you can create whatever it is you want. And the portal is open for you to be able to do this with ease right now. But you’ve got to have a clear understanding of what you want, and what you are doing. Don’t get sidetracked by other things. This is important to for your movement forward and for balance in your future. So for me, it’s a lot of questions, right? It’s a lot of like,

really getting clarity. You know,

I talked last week about visioning, and really having this vision, not a how to get there not a goal, but a vision. And this week, I feel much more like it is clarifying the pieces of that vision in the right now, how does she respond? So

you know, it’s almost like,

if I can decide how I’m going to respond, then I don’t have to respond for the default. And when I can acknowledge and see the default for what it is, then I have an opportunity, you know, it is that space between the moment and then the moment of your reaction,

if you can increase that space,

so that you’re deciding, you know, you’re really the captain

of your soul and of your reactions. And so creating this blueprint, almost, so that you already know what you’re going to do, can really help. You know, I’m not sure if I shared this on the show or not. But about a month ago, three weeks ago, a month ago, I noticed I was waking up every day with a lot of anxiety. It was right before it was the week before, all of this stuff started happening with black lives matter. So that full week before like, I was really struggling having a lot of anxiety in the morning. And

I didn’t know what it was. And once

the riot started, the anxiety actually stopped. But I was really struggling with it in the morning. And so what I decided to do was to just pull in call in have the vision of my my dog, right? So I love my dog. There’s no stories around her right, like I might have with people that I love, right? There’s no, there’s nothing, just love, right? Because animals do that for you. And so the moment I would start I could feel it was it was almost like a pause where I could feel my brain starting to scan for something to feel anxiety about. And as soon as I noticed that scanning process before I got the anxiety, but I noticed this scanning process, I would just start thinking about her about my dog, about how much I love her and about how warm she is, and how her first smells and all of those things. And so that my brain stopped that pattern, you know, of scanning for something to be anxious about. And then of course, once you know a lot of things shifted in the world, I think just like a lot of you probably have felt that energy, right. And so that kind of shifted. But when I when I wrote this today about the decisions and getting clear, it felt like that same, you know that very same thing, like get really clear. So before it happens, you know how you respond? Right before the thing takes place before the disappointment or before something goes wrong. You already know how you’re going to respond. And that way you don’t respond in default, or you don’t respond to the way you always did. Because if you respond in the way you always did, you will get the reality that you always got, right. Which brings me to today’s show of really what I wanted to share. This past week, a former client reached out and we have a Facebook group for alumni of my coaching programs. And it’s just I love those people so much the women that come into my program are they are special. They’re not the normal. They are not they’re special. They’re not the normal, typical woman, they really go after what they want. They’re fearless, they’re ready to make changes, you know, they’re just freaking awesome. And so once they’re through my program, I still keep in touch with them every month we do group gathering, and then if they ever have questions, they just write them in the group. And so this one particular client did and we jumped on the phone, because I wanted to see if I could help her get some clarity. And as we were talking, I was like this is so I think applicable for so many people, right? Like a lot of people are going through what it is that you’re saying and this is a really good idea. I bet a lot of people need to hear this. So let me kind of share what we talked about. So her question was basically, I’m having a lot of like internal wobble, I can’t seem to make decisions. And for her it was specifically about

business and

what direction she wanted to go. And she was like, I just can’t seem to get clear, you know, and you, you’ve probably experienced that I know I have, we’re like, one thing seems really good. But then when you think about the other thing, like that thing seems really good. And maybe the only things wrong because of all these reasons. So we get our consciousness really involved in the decision. Right? So what I want to talk to you today is about how to know if it’s a yes or no, because I think that when our consciousness, our ego starts getting all wrapped up in it, it can take us off the path, that’s really the internal path for us. And I think that sometimes the path we’re supposed to go on is the path that isn’t what other people are doing. You know, it might be a little bit different might be like, it might make no sense to somebody else. And it can be really hard to move forward in that because you have all these sounds, all these voices, all these opinions are things that you think would be opinions, right going around in your head, and then it starts to cloud it. So when we’re trying to make a decision, and we feel like we can make the decision. Trying to do it from a place of consciousness, I can, I think can be really difficult can be really confusing and can cause us to have that wobble and start to second guess ourselves. But what if we had a way where we could feel really steady? If we knew when we made a decision? You know what, I’m hearing these voices right now. But I know that those voices are just the chatter, I know that deep down, this is what my soul wants. And

I at least

am of the belief that if that’s the direction My soul is supposed to go. You know, I think I talked about this last week, but I’ll say this again, because I think it’s important, I am of the belief that we are all part of source energy, okay, God, whatever you want to call it, so use whatever word works for you. And that we come down in a physical form

to experience certain things.

So I’m here to experience overcoming some challenges. And I’m also here to experience getting to the beach. Right, and, and my internal dialogue stopping me from that, right. So that’s part of my, I believe, as part of source source was like, let’s come down as Betsy. And let’s, let’s experience what it’s like to live at the beach, like simple, right, and then my internal

experiences my growing up,

you know, my friends, like

whatever it is, that influences my behavior. And my thought process, then puts up the roadblocks because nothing is in the way I came here to do this. But my whole internal dialogue stuff, my I create these blocks that keep me from it. So my challenge, my goal, in this life, part of it is to move through those blocks to release those blocks, right, and get to where it is that I came here to actually experience. Now, other people come here to experience, you know, being a NASCAR driver or being a pageant Queen, or be whatever that is, we came here in the physical form as part of a source thing as part of a source energy, this little piece of source sort of, not broke off, but extended out and created, created this life. And then said, I want to experience that through you. I want to experience that through them. And I want to experience that through them. So I’m supposed to do it. But when I start thinking of all the other things that everybody else thinks, and all the programming I’ve had, and all of these things, it starts to get in the way. So I am of the belief that if I can toggle down

to a place where I don’t

have to listen to those voices anymore, where I can just listen to the thing. That is my inner voice that is Source Energy telling me Yep, this is the right thing. And it can feel really scary to do this. I have had this happen to me recently, where all of a sudden, I got a lot of clarity around what it is I’m supposed to do. And so I’m trying right now to release the layers that are telling me all the reasons that can’t be done. And I’m going to share that journey with you once I get to a point where I can. But when when my client reached out to me it was that same exact thing, right? Like you know what it is you’re supposed to do, but you’re getting really caught up

in all of these side things,

write all of these voices and ideas of other people. So I want

to walk you through a little process

that can help you to understand what

no feeling Like, and what yes feels like in your body. So my subconscious, which I believe is part of source energy, right, so I can communicate with source and communicate and source communicates with me through my subconscious, which is why I say what I do is science and spirit, it is the same, it’s all intertwined. But that’s how source can communicate with me. And my subconscious communicates with my body through emotion, and metaphor, really in pictures, right. So my dreams, you know, ideas, things that come to my mind. So feelings are huge. And so I want to be able to get past the consciousness and get into really feeling what’s happening in my body. Okay. So if you’re driving, you might want to do this a little bit later. But I just want you to just take a moment and just take a big deep breath.

And just find your center.

And I just want you to imagine that you’re walking into your closet.

In fact, this is the best closet you’ve ever seen.

It looks exactly the

way you’d love to have your closet, it feels really good. The air feels a little cooler in there. And you notice it has the most beautiful smell.

And as you look around the closet, you notice that

one side of the closet is all full of Yes, clothes. And one side of the closet is all full of no clothes. And you know which ones are which just inherently, you don’t need to second guess it. Your subconscious just knows which side of the closet to go on. And what I want you to do is just walk over to the Yes, clothes. And I want you to just notice that you can pull a shirt off the hanger. Maybe it’s a button up, or maybe it’s a pullover might be a sweatshirt or something soft. I just want you to put that on. Go ahead and put that top on. And then I want you to just notice there are all kinds of bottoms that you could wear. Whatever is most comfortable, whatever feels really good. And these are yes bottoms. So now you have a yes top and a yes bottom. I just want you to notice how you feel now that you have the yes on the notice anything in your body? Do you feel something in your heart space? Maybe you feel something in your head? Do you feel something in your shoulders? Maybe it’s in your stomach?

How do your arms and legs feel?



Notice how you feel in a yes, you are completely uh yes, right now.

Completely? Uh, yes.

All right. So now it’s time to take the clothes off. So you can take them off and fold them back up or hang them back up. And then I just want you to walk over to the no side. And I want you to just pick something that’s a no top, you can put the no top on just like you did for the other. And grab some no bottoms. Now I want you to notice as soon as you get these bottoms on, it feels completely different. You might feel really heavy. You might feel heaviness on your shoulders or back.

You might feel something in the pit of your


What does no feel like? You’re completely a no right now.

No, no, no. How does that feel?

When you know how that feels, and how it’s different, I want you to go ahead and take the no clothes off and just put your regular clothes back on. And then you can walk back out of the closet and come back into the now. So now you know exactly what it feels like to feel a yes. In your body and to feel and know in your body. And so when you need to make decisions.

All you need to do is toggle down

and say Where do I feel this in my body? What’s happening? when somebody asks me to go do this thing? How do I feel like besides that I should do it. I owe him a favor or everyone’s going to be there or I haven’t been out in a while like I should go any of that. Just give yourself a moment to break from that. You can even say to yourself, I’m not going to listen to you for just a minute. I just want to toggle down and talk to my body. And then I want you to feel how you feel and don’t second guess it. If it feels like a no but your head is saying yes. Then you can say Don’t make the decision to be a yes. But you at least know that it’s not aligned action. And then you’re not fooling yourself trying to move forward in your dreams, when you’re constantly taking a lack of action that is not aligned. When you come here as source energy, to experience a certain thing, you’re going to know what’s the right thing by listening to your body. And that’s how you know if it’s aligned action, aligned action is always moving you towards what it is you came here to experience. So try that today. Just try some different things, make the decision, but then say, I’m going to just check in and see where this is. You know, if you have a dream for a side hustle or to build a business, but you’re still working for your boss, it doesn’t mean everything will not be aligned, working for your boss, maybe having a side job, and getting money to stabilize you while you’re building something, maybe that is in alignment, start to notice, see how your body feels. And start to see if you can make shifts that move you more in the direction that you want to be in. You know, sometimes it’s not about completely shutting off the thing, right? somebody asks you to do something, maybe it’s not saying no, maybe it’s adjusting it. So you can get in that state and say, okay, it’s a no, but what if I don’t pick them up till five instead of 330? Okay, well, that feels more lucky. Yes. Right, you can really start to play with this. And see how you can work with source energy, how you can work with this power to start to create what it is that you really want. I know I have come back to this practice myself, as I am moving forward and moving through some things right now. And really starting to understand what is right, and what is time to shift. So I hope that that serves you. If you think you are one of the amazing women, just like the amazing women that come to work with me, and you want to hear a little bit more about what I do and my program and how I help women make shifts so that they can you know, become unstuck and start to uplevel their lives. I do have a free training on my website. If you just go to Betsy Pake calm. It’ll bring you right to that training right at the top of the page. If you know that you’re ready, and you want to talk to me and see if we’re a good fit. I will be really honest, if we’re not a good fit, and I don’t think I can help you. I absolutely will let you know and give you some other resources if that’s the case, but if I can help you, then you know I can share with you how that would work. So if you’re ready for that, you can jump on my calendar. Just go to Betsy Pake comm backslash, let’s talk and you can just find a space on my calendar. And I think I have a couple spots open still for this weekend. So

I look forward to talking with you. I hope you guys have an

awesome week. And I will see you all soon.

Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.