222: Lowering the bar to joy


This week Betsy talks about finding joy in the most usual of places.

Inspired by Rob Bell, you can find his Introduction to joy here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA7LmEn3xyc

Join our Facebook group here: www.Theartoflivingbig.com


Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to today’s show. Welcome fellow adventurers. This past week, I Well, I missed last week. So let’s just say this show is going to be a mishmash of lessons and things that I’ve realized over the past couple weeks. So maybe here where I am and you’ve just felt like there’s some things that are really shifting, like deep things big things are shifting and honestly over the last couple months, I’ve felt this
pressure, you know, like, things are changing and I don’t totally know what they’re changing into. And things are falling away. You may follow me on Instagram and I’ve talked about how literally like my, my dryer broke my oven broke my neighbor mowed rocks in his yard that kicked up and hit my bathroom window on the third floor because we have a basement so it’s like the third floor and smashed it.
Somebody hit my car, my daughter hit a mailbox and like scraped up the whole side of her car, a broken tooth in half. I’m trying to think what else? I mean it was like, everything was falling apart. Right? And I kept thinking like, Oh my gosh, if this is all happening, something really good is happening.
Something really good is coming. Because it’s changing everything. Right? Things are shifting and changing. And what all of that means. I probably won’t know, until I can look in hindsight. But I knew that it was shifting. And last week, it was Wednesday, probably.
And I felt like I kept saying my husband like, I feel like I’m in the birth canal. Like that’s what it felt like it felt like so much pressure. I felt like things were whirling around me and I felt like I just was so uncomfortable and I didn’t really understand what was happening. The interesting thing is, a few days later, I saw Lee Harris if you follow Lee Harris energy, he does these really great energy updates every month, and his energy update for August that came out on August 1 was
About how we are breaking out of the chrysalis, right? We’re becoming the butterflies. And that’s where we are right now energetically, and I laughed because I was like, Oh my god, I so felt that like a few days ago, I kept saying it was the birth canal, like I was just trying to get out. So that was Wednesday. And so I decided I just needed some space. And so I cleared my whole calendar. I had one appointment, I had set up like office hours for my clients, and that felt fun. And so I still wanted to do that. And I just cleared everything else from Thursday, I had a podcast episode scheduled to record all this stuff, and I just called the people and I was like, I can’t do this. I can’t do that. I’ve got to cancel this. And I just wanted time, and I decided that morning, Thursday morning. I’m going to listen to today’s new album, I’m going to bring my dogs for a walk. I’m going to clean out my office like I just felt like I needed this space.
To be born, right to like, rearrange and see who is this yesterday I was stuck in the birth canal. I know that’s a weird analogy. But today who am I like what has happened? I just felt so strongly like something had happened. So anyway, all of that happened. And then right before lunch, my husband said, like, are you doing Oh, right. And I was like, I just, I just want to go sit by the ocean. And so basically, he was like, let’s go, let’s do it. He’s like, I’ll call we bring our dogs to this very fancy ranch place that they love. And he was like, I’ll call the ranch and see if they can get in. And then let’s go. And so literally, within hours of that conversation, we were in the car on our way to the beach, and it was just so spontaneous and so fun. It was exactly what I needed. I just sat in front of the ocean and soaked it all in. It was just amazing, really, really good trip. We ended up going to the Gulf side because there was that hurricane
Coming in, and the weather was beautiful. The hotel we stayed at was really it made you feel really safe, they required masks everywhere inside. It wasn’t a ton of people, they had tons of people cleaning all the time. And it just was really a good chance to like get away and still feel like we were, you know, maintaining that social distance and being safe and all that mentally it was just so needed. So in that because I was just sitting and staring at the ocean for 72 hours. I had a lot of thoughts. And so I thought it might be fun for this episode to just kind of share some of those thoughts with you. So I apologize I missed yesterday I was on the way to the beach. And I thought I brought my microphone and I thought I’ll record when I get there. But I was really so in the moment.
And so here I am hearing him this week on time.
One of the things
That Craig and I had done before we left was we watched Rob bell. He has a special. Well, it’s alive that he did. And I actually went and saw him live when he came to Atlanta. If you’re not familiar with Rob Bell, I really, really liked him. He’s got a good podcast called the ROB cast. And he came and did, he had a tour, and it was called an introduction to joy. If you can find it on YouTube, go find it and listen to it. It’s really worth your time. But the whole idea is he’s just sharing tons of stuff that brought him joy. And, and his point was that joy is everywhere. It’s all around you, but you’ve got to lower the bar and make the bar so low, that little things bring you a lot of joy. And I really like that concept and that idea. So while we’re laying in front of the front of the ocean at the beach, there was a family not too far, you know, few seats back there.
from us and it was I think the grandparents and the parents and then this little boy who was maybe like five he was in a full pirate outfit like I mean like the pirate I mean a full like costume but it wasn’t like a costume he bought at the store. It was like his grandmother made it you know what I mean? pants like the kulani pants and the top and the thing around his head and he had one of those Looking Glass things you know, that you could expand out and you could see the other ships. And he had a look to me like a homemade map on like a paper bag, you know, that was ripped. So it was all raggedy jaggedy on the edges and it was a map on there. And he was with his dad walking all over with this map trying to find a treasure and it was so cute. It was so fun because it was just so like pure right pure insanity.
And he was a pirate and he was looking for a treasure. And it wasn’t until he actually dug up a small little treasure chest that I realized that his family had actually planned a real treasure hunt for him. And there was buried treasure and he dug it up out of this hand and found it and brought it over to his grandparents. And he was so happy. And it was just such a fun little thing to watch. lowering our bar to joy, although that’s pretty high. I probably didn’t even need to lower my bar that long that far to be able to appreciate that. But it just made me think, like, there is fun all around us. When we use our imaginations. It is really the secret. It’s the thing that unlocks all the magic. You know, he experienced he was a pirate. And so many times we think I want to be something right i want to i wish i could be that. Well be that like, practice it.
show up like that, put the pirate outfit on and go hunt for treasure. Because that’s how you start to move in the direction of having the thing. And it was just so fun to watch him and there was lots of people there was really good people watching and lots of fun stuff. I also saw a lot of Instagram people, people that were like really doing photo shoots, you know? And it was really fun to find them. I’d be like, Ooh, there’s another influencer like in her bathing suit and her husband or her boyfriend. It was a lot of I think boyfriend’s younger women taking photos of her like frolicking in the water and doing I mean, but like a lot of photos like sometimes it was they’d be there for like 45 minutes, like full on like photoshoots. And so I said to my husband, the last day we were there and I was watching this really cute woman who was pregnant, leaning her phone up against, you know, like her umbrella and then running out to the water and pose
So she could get her photo, you know, with her. I’m sure she had like her 10 second, you know, countdown on so that she could use the timer to get her photo and I was like, I’m going over there, I’m gonna be an Instagram girlfriend. I went over we did a full photo shoot this woman I didn’t know. And by the time I got over there, I realized that she didn’t even really speak Spanish and didn’t really speak English. She spoke Spanish, and didn’t even matter. I just like told her what to do and move your hands where I wanted them. And we took tons of photos and it was so fun. And so you know, lowering the bar to joy, like just we found joy in some of the really simple places. One of the things about me if you’ve never seen me, if you’ve never seen a full photo of me, is I’m super short. It’s funny because sometimes people like even that I coach, they’re like, I didn’t realize you were that short, like I’m five feet tall. I sometimes say like I’m five feet and a half inch but
I think that’s just like when I’m really trying hard to stand really tall, straight. So I’m not very big person. And so when I go and you know, when I love the ocean, like if you’ve been here for a while, you know, I love the ocean. But if I’m being honest, like getting in the water, getting in the waves, it scares me a little bit. I didn’t grow up near the ocean. And if you did, then this probably seems ridiculous. But I get where I feel like I’m gonna get bowled over by the waves. I’m not used to the waves. I didn’t grow up around waves and I spent a lot of time whenever I can by the ocean, but I haven’t spent a lot of time in the ocean and I’m an okay swimmer, but really like swimming in the pool. Water kind of freaks me out. And every time my husband and I go on vacation and we snorkel it takes me a couple minutes to get used to putting my head back in the water. Once I get used to it, I’m fine, but I get a little hyperventilating me
In the beginning, it freaks me out a little bit. And once I went on a trip with my aunt, years ago before my daughter was born, and I tried to do one of those new buzz, you know, where you wear that thing over you and you go down, so it’s kind of like a scuba, but kind of like a snorkel.
You’ve got the thing over your whole head and you go underwater, like deeper than you would if you were snorkeling. And I tried and tried it and I was I was all by myself taking the class, like with people I didn’t know and I couldn’t do it and I paid a lot of money to do it and I had to bail because I couldn’t catch my breath before I’d even gone underwater like so. So it freaks me out a little bit. The waves coming in crashing into me, make me feel like I’m gonna fall over and I’m so sure that when it hits other people’s like waists, it comes up to my neck, you know. And so I really wanted to go out in the water like tons of people were playing out in the water and it looks so fun.
Fun and there was quite a few waves.
And, and I wanted to go out so I decided I was going to go stand there and I thought I’ll just bury my feet as deep as I can in the sand. And that way it’ll give me extra rigidity. So to work rigid, I could be more rigid, right? Like I could have, like, it could be sort of a backup for me to be able to withstand what was coming. And so I buried my feet and braced myself and a wave came and it hit me literally in the knees. And it hurt so bad. Like, I was like, Oh my god, I think I’m gonna blow my knee out. It was the weirdest thing. And so, I I was like, maybe I need to go out just a little deeper. You know? Like, maybe if I’m out past my knees, then the waves were coming in. I was like, I’m gonna tip over, like, I don’t want to fall over and then I looked around me and I was like, Why are other people
People fallen over. Like then I was like, Wait a second, there’s 10 year olds out here that are shorter than me. Why aren’t they falling over. And so I just watched.
And when the waves would come, they would jump. And the waves would pass right through them. They became just part of the flow of the ocean, the waves didn’t crash and hurt them. They just went with it. And I realized that I was standing so stiff and trying to be so solid instead of just going with the flow, that I took all the fun out of it. It became scary. Every time there was a wave, it became scary every time, things weren’t really calm, or I saw something coming. I would anticipate this wave coming in what’s going to happen, I hope I don’t fall and look stupid. But really, when I just give it a little jump, then anticipating the waves actually became fun. When I could see a big wave coming I kind of got excited. I was like Oh, and I ended up going way out waiting.
Way out over my head, even I said, Yes, when I was like, this is really deep and I can’t touch at all. And I’m a little I got to come in a little bit. But I felt fine with the waves coming, because I knew that it could be fun. And you know, as silly as it might sound, being in there in that moment, I was like, God, where else am I resisting the ups and downs? Where else am I resisting the waves where I’m taking all the fun out of it, and there’s fun to be had? Where else can I just give it a little jump and go with the flow because I was made to withstand those waves. They weren’t made to tear me down. Once I figured it out, I could go with it. And I could use it to bring me joy. So it made me stop and I’ll offer that to you too. Where are you resisting? Where have you stopped surrendering where
You need to just give it a little jump and just appreciate the ups and downs because that’s what makes it fun.
It’s actually way more fun than just sitting on the shore or bracing yourself for what’s to come. So that was my little trip to the beach. I want to remind you that inside my facebook group, this next week, I’m doing a free training. It’s four days, it’s really about how to be happy and healthy in your body by using your subconscious. I’m going to talk about actions and there’s a workbook and there’s all kinds of awesome stuff. So you can either you can get inside my facebook group, you can just go to the art of living big calm. You can also get on my mailing list and we’ll email you out the workbook. So if you want to get the workbook Just go to Betsy Pake comm backslash experience, backslash experience and that’ll send you a link for the Facebook group as well. So join
in there, I think it’s going to be really fun. I’m going to be doing four days of live training. I’m excited about it. I got lots of good stuff to share. And I feel like right now, with everybody being inside so much with the Coronavirus, and, you know, I’ve heard people talk about the corona 15. Like, there is a way to shift that. So let’s talk about it a little bit inside the Facebook group. So I hope you guys all have an amazing, amazing weekend. I will see you on Monday in the Facebook group and I’ll see you next week for a new show. If you liked this episode, and it spoke to you please share it. If you share it on social media. tag me at Betsy Pake and I will see you all soon.
Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy Pake calm and we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.