227: Consciously Creating Your Reality


This week I talk about leaving the word “Manifesting” to the side in order to speed up your ability to consciously create.


Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. 

This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. 

Hello fellow adventurers. Good morning. It is Episode 227. I started the show September 20 four years ago, so we’re just about at our anniversary, which is exciting. So I’m having my coffee with you this morning because I have not recorded in a couple weeks. 

Right. And you probably heard that three weeks ago, I talked about how I had a couple of awesome interviews and I know you guys loved those. 

Thank you for listening. I thought they were so fun. The interview was fun to do and it was really fun actually to listen, I do typically listen to the show, but I listened because it was the interview and I wanted to be reminded, you know, especially with Christine because it had been several weeks.

 And it was really fun for me to listen to her and get so many new ideas and be inspired by her in the way that she thinks so I hope that you guys enjoyed that. I hope you felt my tiny pain when Kidest said she wouldn’t come to my beach house. 

But it’s okay you guys can come we will have a retreat or something. So thank you for hanging in there with me the last couple weeks. It has been really, really good. 

So I talked about how I was really trying to slow down and  get slowed down is the right word. But it was really to allow space for myself and space just to think and space just to be. So I started, you know, changing my calendar, so I didn’t have any appointments before 10:30.But it was so fun. I was looking forward to it. 

And so it felt aligned and really good. But in all of that, I really was able to get some clarity and I want to share that with you today in hopes that maybe it will help you. I truly believe that our language impacts the way we’re experiencing the world. 

And I’ve talked about that quite a bit on the show, you know, of course being NLP neuro linguistic programming, I am understanding that my language is an indicator, it is a peek into my subconscious. It’s a peek into what I’m thinking behind the scenes when I’m unaware. 

And then I’ve also shared on the show different studies that I have read that talk about indigenous communities that don’t have words for certain colors. They can actually see the colors. But they have a variety of words for like the same color. 

So you know the color green, for example, like grass, grass isn’t just green. It’s green, it’s lime green, it’s, you know, when they have a variety of colors, they can see subtleties that you and I can’t see because we don’t have the language for it. So it absolutely impacts how we are experiencing the world, our language. 

So, language is so so important and I became aware as I was online. So this is what I kind of want to talk about, and it’s going to lead into the story. Okay. So one of the things that I see online all the time, and that I have done often is talk about manifesting. 

I’ll see people say “How come I can’t manifest this?” or “I’m having trouble manifesting.” I want to clear up the language on that. And I know you’ve heard this before, but hopefully I will say it in a way that maybe shifts the way you’re thinking. I believe it can change how quickly you’re getting what you want.

Okay? So manifesting is simply taking a thought, subconscious thought or awareness and turning it into something in your physical reality. That’s manifesting. Every single thing, and I know you already know this, but let me just say it this way. 

Every single thing you do, have, or become in your life is because you once had a thought conscious or unconscious about it. So every single thing that you do, that you look at in your life right now, is because you thought that was going to happen in some capacity. I want you to think about your bank account. 

Think about your job, think about your spouse, think about your friends, think about your weight, all of that you have manifested. You are an incredible manifester. You are an amazing manifester. Nobody has a problem manifesting. 

Everybody’s doing it perfectly. You’re just not doing it consciously if you don’t have what you want.

So what I want to offer today is the idea that you’re not manifesting, you’re consciously creating.

When I am choosing something different than my reality, I’m choosing to consciously create something different. I’m choosing to create a life where my bank account has $30,000 in it all the time. 

I’m consciously creating a relationship where I feel really seen and I have really great interactions and deep thoughts. I’m consciously creating an experience where I love my environment and I’m happy where I live, right?

I’m consciously creating because when we use the word manifesting It takes away our power. I think because we are excellent manifesters, we’re just terrible at focusing. You’re an excellent manifester. So that should make you feel really good.

 If you’re in a situation right now that you’re like, I hate this and I wish this was different. When you believe that, in some capacity, you’re content you have unconsciously created it. It gives you back your power. Why would you want to give your power to somebody else, or something else?

Or to say, somebody did this to me? You know, I believe, and hang with me if this is starting to irritate you, just hang with me because I think you’ll understand as I keep going. If you’re in a terrible situation, it does not mean that I think you deserve that. 

I don’t, I don’t think you deserve it. I also think that there are times where we get ourselves in situations where we have over and over accepted things that we knew didn’t feel good to us. We’ve said, “okay”, or we’ve swept something under the rug, or we’ve ignored it. 

Because we didn’t want to disturb the peace or it was easier, or we didn’t want to make somebody else uncomfortable. And that alone begins to create the reality that we’re experiencing. And that begins to shape what we have. 

And when we can acknowledge that, then we can go “I am at cause for my life.” And that’s an incredible thing. Because that empowers you, that makes you go, “Okay, I’m in this crappy situation that I hate. Right? But I have the power. So how can I consciously create something different?” 

And I believe when we look at it like that, it starts to change because our language is so important. It starts to change how we’re responding in our environment and when we respond differently in our environment. Other people have to step up and respond differently to us. It’s just the law. 

That’s the way it is. It’s not just the law of attraction. There are lots of other laws out there. And one of the laws is the law of cause and effect. And when you act differently, behave differently, treat yourself differently, take control differently, refuse to put someone else above yourself and your needs differently, then people have to react differently. 

It is the law just like gravity, just like the law of attraction, right? Just like manifesting everything that we have. So I want you to shift your language. What am I consciously creating now? I’m going to ask you this question. 

Do you believe deep down, and don’t use your conscious mind, use your body. What comes to you when I say this? Like, do you feel that you are in control of creating your reality? Does it feel like a yes, like, deep down? Deep down, you know, I am in control of creating my reality.

If you think that’s true, then I would ask you, if you consciously create your reality every day, when you get up in the morning, what is it you’re thinking about? I’ll tell you that since I’ve started really slowing down, I didn’t have to jump out of bed in the morning, right? 

So I wasn’t like, thinking “Okay, I’m getting up, I’m gonna get my workout in really quick. I have to be at my desk by 9am”, right, because I gave myself an extra hour and a half. So I would get up and I would just lay there for a minute and stretch and I realized I would really be thinking past thoughts. 

I would be thinking past things that had happened. Basically, I’d be living in the past. Now, we could get into a whole conversation about timelines and time, how that’s created, but I want you to think of it this way. If my thoughts are my reality, I was waking up in the past

and I want to change shifts. I want to change. I wanted to consciously create but now I find myself waking up in the past.

So now I’m waking up and thinking about other things that happened. Now I’ve got no momentum in the morning. Sleep will even out my momentum. So if I went to bed at night, and I had a lot of momentum towards “Well, I really hate such and such and I hate this situation. And I, you know, I hate where I live. I want to be at the beach.” 

If I had a lot of momentum towards that, when I sleep, it takes the momentum away. So I wake up with a clean slate, but I was immediately thinking about things in the past and sometimes I would think about people I hadn’t thought of in a long time. I’d be like, “I wonder what happened with that. Like what was the deal there?” 

Yesterday I woke up and I was thinking about some woman that I knew years ago. And I was like, “I wonder where she is.” And then I looked on Facebook to see where she was. And she had defriended. me. And I was like on Facebook, right? 

Which I really don’t care. Good, good for her. Like, she’s got a life. I love it. But I was like, “This is so interesting. I wonder if she did it last night.” Do you see what I’m saying? Like why was I thinking of her? I haven’t thought of her in years. And so I was thinking in the past, I was thinking about situations, maybe things that made me kind of annoyed or angry, most of it was negative.

And so I’m going to bring it back to the question. If you are waking up, and you’re not consciously creating what you want, then you’re most likely going to be just replaying shows that already happened, because I’m going to guess you’re like me, that you’re having these thoughts that are sort of just replays of the past. 

So what we think about, right? So if you believe you’re a conscious creator, then you’ve got to start your day consciously creating. And so in the morning, as soon as I get up now, I still have those thoughts, but I immediately move them. 

Because I don’t want to live in the past. I want to create something new. So I’ve been thinking, how would I feel if all my dreams were true right now, everything that I want, and I talk about the beach one a lot, because it’s easy to understand. 

I have a lot of big dreams, bigger than the beach. And it felt like a lie in my body. I would like the beach to not to be such a big dream and then it would probably come true. So I have a lot of dreams, a lot of hopes, a lot of ideas, a lot of things that I’m trying to consciously create. 

And I want to bring myself into the feeling of how it will be when those are reality. What happens when those are a reality? And let me ask you this as a side note, and if you’re in my Rise program, you know, we talk about this. And if you’re interested in that you can jump on my calendar and we can talk about if it’s good for you. 

It’s my 10 week program where we consciously create something new for you. So, in that we talked about what comes after that. What comes after you get your goals, what comes after you consciously create everything you want?

 And I want you to just think about that. Because if I woke up and I lived at the beach, and I had the business that I wanted, and I had  all the things that I wanted, this shall go unnamed, all of these things that I want. 

How would I feel? Even as I’m saying this to you, I noticed my shoulders dropped, like, less uptight, stressed, more open, right? So how would I feel; then can I lock that in? Can I say I say out loud “magical things are gonna happen today.” 

I’m going to notice shifts in this area and this area, in this area. And I’m so excited for it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. And then I get up super excited that those things are going to happen and I’m going to see changes.

Right? Like, how can you consciously begin to create what it is you want? About a week ago inside the Alchemy Collective, which is our monthly membership, I go in there usually on Wednesdays and talk and kind of give my daily ritual and I share things in there. Anyway, I was sharing that I had to go, I had to go notice my language. 

My daughter was moving into her first apartment. She moved on a Tuesday and her dad helped her move all the big stuff. Then I was going on Wednesday and I took the whole day off so that I could bring her to Target, you know, and had to do all those things.

And I say “had to.” I think that came out because it felt kind of heavy to me as I was getting ready to go. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I have so many things to do. I really want to go but she’s 18 and she’s going to want things and I’m going to go to Target and I’m going to have an idea of how much money I want to spend but she’s going to want me to, you know, she’s going to be be pressuring me.” 

You know, if you’re a mom, you get that, or a parent or a friend maybe that always has it by lunch or whatever. Like, I just felt like I’m not going to be in control. And even more, I felt like I had so much to do. And so inside the Alchemy Collective I shared with everybody that I gave a list to the universe. 

So I get up in the morning and I was like, this is how I’m going to experience this day. And I don’t think I’ve even updated the Alchemy members on how this turned out. But I gave the universe a list. You know if you can take care of this and this and this, that would be amazing. 

And I will go and I will keep my phone off. And I will appreciate my time with all of it and I will have so much fun. We will, you know, I will create this incredible day. It was wack-a-doodle because we had a great day, it was so fun. And we really connected and we had fun and she was really respectful at Target and we got tons of stuff and it felt fun to buy stuff for her, you know.  

I did go over what I originally wanted, but I changed what I wanted as we were talking because we were having so much fun and she was appreciative and it felt good, right. And then when I came home, all the things that I said I wanted, were right there in my inbox. 

It was fascinating. I released it, I just let it go. I was consciously creating. And I was not holding on to an outcome. I was like, you go do this. This is what I’m giving you. I’m consciously creating. I’m getting up. I’m deciding what it is I want, what I want to see in the world. And then I’m throwing it in the cosmic crock pot and I’m going off and having fun,

So now it doesn’t mean we never forget the things that we need, right, we live in a physical reality, we have to take actions. But for that day, those were the actions I was taking.

 And I was trusting that all the actions I had done for years before, would align, and help me and continue to be propelled forward. Well, I had fun. And that felt really good. And so that’s what I did and it worked. 

Now, I want to offer this to you because I want you to change the language. Change your language. Tag me when you use the new language on Instagram or anywhere because I will celebrate you because I fully 1,000% believe that our language is what begins to create this. It’s what begins to create this reality, begins to be what draws things into us.

Now, the other night we have a call once a month, a couple times a month, but a live workshop and q&a inside the Alchemy Collective. And I was telling them this little story that I’m going to share with you here. I shared a little more with them. 

But I’m going to just kind of give you the rundown. Because I think this can help be perhaps a visual of what it is that I’m talking about. So in all of this being still, being quiet, right before all that happened, and if you’re a regular listener, you’ve heard me talk about right before we left for the beach.

 I felt like there was this blender right in front of me. And it was causing me so much stress in the way I described. It was like if you put your arms out straight in front of you, both your arms, and then you bend your elbows so that your fingertips are facing the sky.

 And then it was circles with my hands, right so two hands in front of me circles like these swirly and I kept saying to my husband, I feel like I’m in the birth canal. Like I feel like I’m in a blender, like, I feel like those were the things…I feel like I’m being squeezed. 

You’re like, you know, if you could imagine like a blender blade would keep knicking you in the face if it was right in front of you. That’s

what it felt like…pain.

And that’s how all of this started where I was like, I’ve got to slow down, like, Holy smokes, I don’t know why, but something’s happening. And I can’t breathe. And so we went to the beach, I came back, I got back in the blender, and then I was like, hold up. 

We’re gonna start everything at 10:30 and give myself that space. And I started really meditating. I started creating a lot of space for meditation, for just thinking, you know, even this morning. I just sat. I just sat and I thought about the things I was thinking, you know, I thought about, I thought about whatever was coming up, right?

 Whether it was the past or the future, I just thought about it, so that I could just release it. Like, let me think about that. “What is it I need to learn, okay, we’re done. Move on, move on, move on”, and give myself that space. Then I felt really clear. 

So I had done that for maybe like a week, week and a half, and the blender thing had started to dissipate. I didn’t feel the blender in front of me, I felt like I could breathe. And then I was in a meditation. And I noticed that I was I, I’m gonna describe it in this way, but it sounds really weird. I was stationary.

 It actually felt like I was on a circle, if you could imagine like a embroidery hoop. Okay, so this is sort of the thing I’m getting. So an embroidery hoop where I’m stationary on the embroidery hoop. There’s other people that I noticed.

 And I noticed who they were that were also on the embroidery hoop. And now if you could imagine, like nesting dolls of embroidery hoops, so like, you know, a smaller one inside and there were other people that I could see, like on one hoop inside. And they were telling me to step up to the next hoop. And I remember I was like, “No, I’m good right here.”

Right? So that was interesting. And I didn’t know who they were, I don’t know them in person. And I didn’t know who they were. And in that I felt all of a sudden like this. If you would imagine like a big huge turbo fan, right? 

Hoo hoo hoo. And it was the blender. It was that blender, but I noticed it was inside my body. So now those two if you could imagine my hands, two hands, so there’s two blenders inside my body. It was as if I slowed down enough where they could get inside my body, but now it didn’t make me feel stressed. It gave me this, like, insane amount of peace.I just felt really good.

And then it was as if I was watching myself. Now I’m on this blender. So if you imagine I’m on this hoola hoop, embroidery hoop, sorry, I’m on this embroidery hoop. If you can imagine now I’m turning, so now it’s almost as if I’m laying down. 

Okay, so my van point goes from above my head first in my body feeling this, this piece and then floating above my head. And then we’re almost tips me to my side. So now I’m looking down. And I felt like it was trying to show me this visual. When I’m looking down, I noticed that that blender, you know, if you open up a blend, like you’re making a smoothie and you open up a blender and you look down and everything’s being sucked in, you know, I’m talking about that was what was happening, those two blenders, and it was sucking in right to my heart. 

So everything was being sucked into my heart. And all of a sudden I had this incredible awareness that we are stationary and that we are sucking everything in to us. I know that that sounds strange now that I say it out loud, but that we are pulling everything to us and sometimes we pull really fast and sometimes we don’t.

And I felt like it was pulling really fast, like a really churning blender. Like, it felt really good. So I was pulling in the right things. So I share that with you just to say what if it’s not running to get to the thing? What if it’s standing, doing the right things, taking the right actions that feel good? 

Allowing the conscious creation that you want to be pulled into you? What if that’s the way we consciously create? What if that’s the way that we become who we want to become, so that we can attract the things that we want to see manifest in our life? So I hope that was helpful. I believe when we can all get to that space. That’s how we can all start living a big life.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends, tag me, take a screenshot, tag me on Instagram so I can share you out and let me know what you think. If you have questions or ideas jump into our Facebook group, you can find it at the ArtofLivingBig.com. I go live with the Art of Living Big every Tuesday at 2pm.

And if you want to talk about how to consciously create what it is you want and you want to jump on my calendar, you can go to BetsyPake.com/let’s talk. I can’t wait to talk with you. I’ll see you guys next week. Thanks so much for listening today. 

If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes, take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support@Betsypake.com. We will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.