Today Betsy shares some strategies to shift negative thoughts so you can become the most resourceful version of you!
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Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an author, speaker, a master hypnotherapist and NLP coach. And I help high achievers rewire for success. If you’re ready for the next level, you’re in the right place. Over the next 30 minutes, I hope to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, good morning, fellow adventurers. I know I’m late on my podcast, I’m late or I’m early, because I could be early for this coming week, and just late for last week. If you’re new here, welcome. Welcome to the show. So so I have been at training for the past 10 days. You know, last, the last episode that we had, I talked about my process for really starting new and going diving into the new year. Now, one thing I forgot to mention, if you’re on my email list, you got this, but I’m gonna say it here, just in case you didn’t, I forgot, like the very last cool thing that I do at the end. But after I go through my whole process, and I, you know, really listen to my intuition, and I talked to my higher nowhere. And I get all of these awesome little things for how I should be moving forward, I write a letter to myself, and I go to future mi.org. And I set it up so that that letter gets delivered to me on the last day of the coming year. So a year from now. So I wanted to share that, in case you did all of that work. And then you want to be able to, I just write myself a letter, and I just describe exactly how excited I am and how all of this stuff happened and how it came. So magically. And it was when I was relaxed and not thinking about it, you know all the things
as if it’s already happened, right, because it’s a letter to myself in the future. And then it’s always really fun to get the letter at the end of the year. Now I use future media org lots of times in the in in the year, sometimes I’ll set like a three month goal, and then I’ll write that letter to myself. And I think the thing that makes it so powerful, but besides it being really fun to get the letter, it’s really powerful because you are writing as if it’s done, and that’s speaking to your subconscious mind, right. So anyway, I wanted to make sure that I mentioned that before we dove into today’s show. So I do have a fun story for you that I want to share. And then I’ve got some ideas and ways that you can start to shift, some negative self talk. So let’s dive into that a little bit, because that’s a question I’ve been getting a lot lately. Now. Today, if you’re listening to the show today, today is going to be the last day to dive into the alchemy collective, which is my membership. I’ve changed it up this year. And we’re going to be focusing on things for each quarter. And so this first quarter, we’re focusing on reality and like what makes up your reality and shifting that reality. So it best serves you and then we’ve got themes for the coming year. So if you want to join us jump in there today it is alchemy. It’s Betsy pake.com slash alchemy collective. And that’ll bring you right to it. And then you can join us. Be sure if you do it join the Facebook group because that’s really where a lot of the community stuff goes down. And I go in there live a lot and it’s just kind of a fun, lively community. I love the people in there. Alright. Okay, so this week, I am at a training. So I am at last time last episode, I talked about how I was following my intuition. I’m trying to really tap into it every day and do the things stay present in the moment and do the things that feel the most aligned in the moment. Because I can’t change anything in the future. I can only change things in the moment. And if we’re always ahead, if we’re always thinking forward, it can be really difficult. Now,
if you followed along for any amount of time, you know about how I sold my house, and I moved and they moved from the suburbs of Atlanta into Atlanta, which might not seem like that big of a deal. But it I might as well have moved 10 hours away, right? I moved an hour away. So everything changed, like you know, where I go to the dentist where I bring my dogs to the vet like all of those normal things where I grocery shop, all of those things that kind of happened unconsciously now have been uprooted and have to be conscious decisions. And so it’s been sort of a lot I’ve been trying to stay in the moment as we moved in as we started to get settled. And
I have been going through for the past year a process to become a trainer of NLP and hypnosis so that I could board certified people to be master NLP practitioners or hypnotherapists. Now about
A year ago at the beginning of 2020, my goal was to become an expert like to do everything I could to be an expert. I had been a master NLP practitioner for, I don’t know, maybe four years or five years. But I wanted to become an expert. And so to do that,
I felt like to become a trainer would be the best way. So I went through all the training again, I went through core coaching again, I went through hypnotherapy, I went through NLP, Master NLP. And, you know, last year in March, I was going through the master NLP COVID hit while I was in my training. So my training was several weeks. And in the middle of that, like when I left to go on to the training, COVID was just like, sort of something we were mentioning was in other countries, by the time I was at the training, it had become sort of this like full blown thing. I wasn’t really watching the news, because I was so involved in my training. But then I started to hear like the March Madness was canceled, like those things that started to become bigger. And so I actually left the training. So everyone knows what happens next. Right? It’s COVID times, I didn’t end up going back to my training until until September, end of September, I went to Philadelphia to redo that whole training. So even though I had already done like most of it, and I had already done it years ago, I redid the entire thing. Okay, so then I’m moving right? It’s December, I’m moving. And I was supposed to come to this training for this month in January. And they only hold this training twice a year, January and August. I couldn’t go to the August one because I didn’t finish in in March, my master prac. Right. had to be done in order. So anyway, all of this long story, sorry, all of this long story to say, I wasn’t sure if I was going to come like I was really in my head about it. Like do I do this? Do I not do this? What’s the news? Say, you know, what will people think what, what am I doing? And finally, I had to just really take my own advice, you know, and sit with myself and ask my intuition. What do I need to do to be able to move forward to be able to be as safe as I can feel right to be able to do the right things. And for me, it meant coming here, they had changed the location, the class had dwindled down to about eight people. And it felt like the right time It felt in alignment. And so I did it. So I came here. So I’m just finishing now I’m in the last, I guess the last five days of my actual training, and then I have three days of testing. So all of that to say the first few days of this training was was a speaking training, right? Because we’re going to be trainers, and to be able to speak and to communicate properly in front of a group. Now if you haven’t been following along, you listened to, to Episode 236, I just had to check but 236 towards the end of that episode, I share a story about my mom, and how my mom died when I was young when I was in high school. And I shared that story and why it was so important to me. And about how what we focus on really is a matter of life or death. Right. And so as we were doing this training, I thought, you know, I’m consider myself a pretty good speaker, like I speak every week on the show, and like I go live a lot and that kind of thing. So I want to practice that story. I want to get that story really good, you know, so every day, he would have to get up in front of the class and present. And I was retelling the story and retelling the story and it got like a little you know, like big deep breath like, Okay, I’m gonna retell the story and the feedback I would get was, you know, Betsy, this story’s great. And but, like, bring us on a journey. Right? And, you know, the part of the story where my mom is like, skidding off the road and in my head, I’m like, it was a dirt road. I’m guessing that’s why she likes to get it off the road. I don’t know, down this embankment into this big huge field and like, they’re like describe it, like describe the field describe what’s happening. And And finally, one day, I almost started crying, which I was like, Oh, please, Betsy, please do not do surgery. But I was like, I don’t know. Like, I don’t know what the field look like. I’ve never been there. It was in a different state. She was on a trip. So I’ve never been there. And when I said it, I felt something. You guys know that feeling like where you’re like something just happened. I don’t I don’t even know what it was like. I felt like a team like like
And I thought, Well, I mean, maybe in that moment of like, like, exhaustion of telling the story or frustration, like, I don’t know, you know, maybe it was just the universe saying that’s fine. But see, it’s fine, right? So anyway, it was fine. I went and sat down and other people got up and did their talks. And I listened. And I got a phone call. And it was a number that I didn’t know I let it go to voicemail, because I didn’t know it. And also because I’m in training. And I saw that I had a message. And so during one of the breaks, I went and listened to the message. And the message was from a friend of mine that I knew years ago, he he was actually a pallbearer at my mom’s funeral. So somebody that a guy that I my mother just loved. When I was growing up, he was my age. But my mother and he were really close. My mother was kind of like a friend to all my friends. And he was a basketball player. And my mother was like, really, like, supported him. She was a family friend, right? She was friends with his parents. So anyway, I haven’t talked to him. And I mean, I want to say 20 years, maybe since I’ve talked to him, I don’t know. I’m trying to think like, maybe our paths have crossed. I don’t know, it’s been a long, long time is my point. Like, I’m surprised he had my number kind of thing. I didn’t have his number. So I get this message.
And he says, I can’t stop thinking about your mom’s accident. And I just realized today that I live really near where it happened. And I didn’t know if you’ve ever seen it. And I thought maybe you might want a picture.
Now, my friends, what a coincidence. Right? What a coincidence. And he actually said that he knew he was near it. He just didn’t know where the accident had happened. Right? We were both young when that happened. And so he found a Facebook group, and that for the community and asked if anybody remembered now the community must be fairly small, because people remembered and he sent me the screenshots, like everybody, like remembering and talking about it, and saying, Oh, my gosh, I felt so bad for that family. I remember that. So clearly, one woman said that was actually on my property and the tree is still there, the bark has never grown back. And I found out that it was icy on that road. It was March, right. And it was in New York. And so it was icy. So that was a piece of this puzzle that I just didn’t know, in my head, I always just imagine, like, you know, you’re on a gravelly road, and it’s windy, so you’re turning a corner and you just kind of scared, but it made me feel better that it was icy, because that feels a little more out of control, right.
But then also that he would be able to go there and, and show it to me. Now.
You know, I share this story with you. Because you might just be thinking like, that’s a coincidence. But I want to offer you the idea that it’s not, and that this sort of magical thing can happen and happens to you all the time, you might not notice it. But when we do notice it, it’s always really fun. Because it goes like, it makes me think in my head like, we have this deep connection that Tina thing that I felt was a moment of recognition of knowing that I was being supported and that my mom I believe was coordinating. Or somebody was coordinating this so that I would get what I needed to be able to take that message further. Right? To be able to be clearer to be able to have more peace in my heart about it. So I offer that to you as a magical fun story. Because I think it’s always fun to hear those magical fun stories, but also to say that, I feel like I have a lot of magical stories like that. The only reason I’m not having any more of that than you. If you’re if you’re thinking like those things don’t happen to me. They totally do. You might not notice. So how do we notice is we just stay really present. You know, I noticed that team because I was present in my body, right and I felt something shift in my body. And so you can start like an a practice an awareness of being present. in the morning. You know, this morning I laid in bed as soon as I woke up, and I did a scan. I went down my head into my neck, I realized my head was really throbbing. I had a huge headache when I woke up PMS or MS and a huge, huge headache. And then I scan to the rest of my body and asked it what do I need, right I scan all the way down my torso all the way down to my legs to my feet, what parts feel good, what parts don’t like getting in touch with my body and being in this present moment.
In right, and then trying to bring myself back to the present reality in the moment. So magical things happen. But they don’t happen in the future, they happen in the moment. So
be present. Alright, so let’s talk a little bit about some of those negative thoughts. I have noticed, like, since I’ve been pushing myself outside of my comfort zone here at training, having some negative thoughts about different things, and one of the things that I really try and do, and I’ll get into some other things, but one thing that I was doing yesterday, so I want to bring it to your attention, while I remember I’m remembering it is, I imagine those thought bubbles, right, each of those thoughts, those things that don’t serve me as thought bubbles, and when I noticed them, I picture them in my mind’s eye as a bubble. And then I imagine a hand coming with a big pin and just popping in popping the Thought Bubble. And then sometimes I just imagine that there’s a big vacuum cleaner, that’s coming in through the top of my head, and just super sucking out anything negative out of my brain out of my whole body. And just imagine that whole like body scan of things like just being lifted out, right things that I didn’t even know thoughts, or energies that just aren’t supporting me. So there is that. But I know a lot of people have this come up where they’re having negative thoughts that sort of rerun during the day that are holding them back or, or pull them off track. And so there’s lots of ways to deal with this. But I think if we’re going to put them in categories, I think one of the, the simplest ways is to jam it up. So we can jam it, we can switch it, or we can heal it. So jamming It is really coming up with another way to another thing to be thinking about, you know, when, when they teach snipers, how to shoot or sharpshooters, they have them repeat a series of steps. So they’re just repeating the steps over and over again, in their mind, that way, they’re not thinking about what they’re doing. Right? So if you could imagine, you know, someone in the military may have to have you have a mission where they have to shoot somebody, right? And you don’t want them thinking, like, I wonder if this guy has a family, or I wonder if you you want them, just thinking about the steps. And so jamming up other thought processes can really be helpful. So you can only think one thing at a time. And if you’re thinking something, and you always have this thought come up with a list of a certain steps of things that you’re going to think about instead. This could also be like a mantra, right? Like, this is what I always say when those things start to come up. So that’s one way. The second way is to just switch it, I like to just continue to add on to it. Now if I use the word, but my subconscious mind is going to negate everything that I said first. So if you’re having a negative thought, let’s say you have a thought that says, Oh, my gosh, I can’t do this, right, I’m getting up to speak Oh, my God, I can’t do this. But I’m learning and growing every day. Right? That’s believable. Right? It’s not and you’re not saying, oh, gosh, you’re not thinking that thing. And then trying to say, but I’m an awesome speaker.
But I’m learning and growing every day, but I’m taking the steps, but I have the resources to be able to become more, but it’s okay for me to start thinking something different. And if you can just add on to whatever the thought is, if it feels comfortable to do that, then just give it a big butt and tell it what you want it to know. So we can jam it up with just a list of things. And here’s another thought I used to have in my wallet. A list of things that I loved that would immediately put me back into a state of resourcefulness. right because when I’m when I’m thinking something negative, I’m having a net having a negative thought I’m I’m rehashing something that I don’t want to be rehashing. It’s putting me in a state of unrest forcefulness. I want to be in a state where I can access all of the internal resources that I need in order to be successful. So I used to have a list of things that I could think about that would shift my state. So one of the things on my list is my dog. I love my dog. When I think about her, I immediately get into a feeling of like happiness. bliss, right she loves
Me, I can imagine her Fredo paws, whatever judged me, but I love the feel paws smell. So I think about those things, it moves me out of the state of unrest, forcefulness and into a state of love, which is very resourceful. So, you know, as we think about jamming it or switching it also be thinking, like, what’s some other things I can think about? You know, anytime I have, you know, you don’t have to necessarily when you jam it have a list of, like, list of things to do. But you could just have a list of things you love. The whole, the whole troubling thing about negative thoughts, I think, isn’t the thoughts as much as it’s the state that the thoughts put you in? Right? If the thoughts made you feel really great, you wouldn’t care. So you’re really worried about the state, as opposed to the thoughts themselves, right. All right. And then my last one is to heal it, you know, to heal it if you’re having a reoccurring thought your subconscious mind represses memories that it needs to, and it serves them up when it thinks you’re ready to heal it. So if you’re having something that’s coming up, maybe it is ready for you to heal it. And maybe it’s time for you to actually just release it. You know, Joe dispenza talks about when you can, if you have like a series of things that have happened in your life, and you remove the emotion, you’re left with the wisdom. And I love that idea. So release yourself from the emotion and just get the wisdom. There are so many ways to do this, where you don’t have to relive things. You know, I do, I do coaching, I do breakthrough days, where we spend eight hours and we uncover all of the things and shift in a certain area of your life, it’s unbelievably powerful. You can email us if you want more information about better, it’s on my website, too.
And inside the alchemy collective, we do a monthly coaching, we’re gonna really start diving into some of this stuff. But using modalities like NLP like hypnosis, you know, like EFT, like, all, there are so many different things. And I believe that having a greater understanding of these things, on how to use them yourself, you know, I love coaching. But what I really love is teaching people how to use the tools. And when I use the tools, I don’t just do one tool, like I mix them in together. And that’s what makes things so powerful. You know, a few times a year I’m running a program called the rise. And if you’ve been through the rise, you’re probably smiling because it is so much fun. And this is where I actually teach you how to do it. teach you all those tools. So we’ll be opening that up again in March. So make sure you’re on my mailing list if you want to find out more about that. But as you look, and as you look at the negative thoughts that you might be having, ask yourself, do I need it right now at this moment, maybe I need to just switch it, but then I have to figure out how to heal it later on. Right? Or maybe it’s like, this is just something stupid, there’s not emotion attached to it, it’s just some dumb thing. I keep thinking I am just gonna jam it every time it comes. And then that becomes a pattern and the and the and the old pattern is gone. Right? So determined, is it something I really need to heal? Or is it just something I just got to get the pattern, the habit of thinking it just needs to be released. So there’s so much that you can do to shift and change and, and, and grow in your life. I use these tools and these patterns every single day and remind myself of them right when I get in a funk or I get where I’m finding I’m thinking things that aren’t resourceful or I’m not feeling good, you know, pause, get really present and start to use some of the tools. You know, on all the shows, there’s so many tools that I share, just go back through and listen to some of the old shows. There’s some subconscious shows back and like 115 116 117 like that whole area, there’s a lot of stuff. So dive in and start to shift and become the best version of you because that’s how I think you live a big life. Now, I’m going to try and come in here again before I am done my training. But if I can’t just know that I’m wanting to I just am really trying to stay focused on my outcome of becoming the very best trainer that I can in learning the very most that I can so that I can come back and share it with you. I will be home next Wednesday. I’m super excited about that and getting back to my new place in Atlanta and getting settled and organized there. So I will see you all
soon Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing the show with your friends. If you found this helpful, please tag me share it and tag me on social media. I love you so much. I will see you soon. Thank you so much for being here and for listening to today’s episode. If you liked it and got something out of it, please be sure to share with me by leaving a review over on iTunes. And if you’re not following on social media, I am everywhere at Betsy Pake but most of the time over on Instagram, so follow and comment on my latest post so that we can connect there. I’ll see you next week. And until then, keep living big