Betsy acknowledges that we cannot control everything, but we can control how we feel. We can shift our vibration by concentrating on how we are feeling, making a focused effort to shift, and taking away the things and patterns that are causing us to feel stuck. This will allow us to expand into the next version of ourselves. She offers this idea as an encouragement for you to take an inventory of where you’re spending your time and what you’re focusing on.
* Connect with Betsy on IG @betsypake
Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now,
let’s go live big.
Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone, welcome to today’s
show, to today’s show. I, okay, so
I have a lot of things, and I have a lot of things I want to share. But it’s like a lot of thoughts that I want to share. So grab some coffee, we’re gonna, we’re gonna dive in to some things, I totally believe that all the things that are happening to us are happening for us. And I really, I really believe that that’s gotten me through some really hard things. And over the last three, four months, and I talked about this on a show about how there was like, six weeks that were really hard, and really, like stressful, and a lot of things going on. And I have had some epiphanies about that, and about my vibration, and what we are holding to be true. And so today’s show is really about that. And the reason that I want to talk about that is because I think that this is happening to a lot of people, I think, maybe this is happening to a lot of people like right now, like in the world as the world is, you know, so much has changed. And I know, we have talked about it incessantly about COVID, and the pandemic, and all of these changes in our lives and, and how we experienced not just like our world, but like our everyday existence was really altered. And I think that brought into awareness for a lot of people things that they didn’t like, things that they did like and, and really how they wanted to shift things. I know for me, I have made big huge changes since COVID happened, you know, I sold my house out in the suburbs and moved into the city like I’ve I’ve made a lot of big changes in things. And I remember last year, it was like June, and I think I talked about this on a show. I’m sure I talked about it on our show. But I’m not sure if I did a whole show just on this. But it was like June. And I remember I was sitting outside, like on my balcony. And I was journaling and just like thinking, you know, and I had this sudden feeling like deep, deep feeling, not just an awareness, but like a deep feeling that it’s June. Like, like it’s June, it’s halfway through the year. And what do you really want to have happen over the next year, you know, over the next six months, you know, to finish out the year, like at that point, I remember there was this moment where I was like I still have time to have this year be really monumental, right to be really huge to have a lot of the things that I want in it. And even though I felt like those first six months, I was kind of coasting, you know, you do that you coast. And sometimes we need to coast. And I think that’s where I was I needed to coast by had this, like deep awareness. Suddenly, when I was sitting out there, they’re like, it’s time, you know, it’s time to get going. It was like this, like voice from inside my body that was like we need to get going. And man, I mean, the changes that I made in the second half of the year, I mean, I’ve done shows on it, just so many things, shifts and changes, which sort of culminated with me spending a month at the beach in January and going to Iceland for a month in February. Big things and I know just from the work that I do, and from having an awareness just like you have this, like, you’ll you’ll know what I mean when I say this, but I know that it’s because I changed who I thought I was that those, like opportunities came into my awareness that those things happen for me. Right, that it changed who I am, like, like when we say like who am I you know, and, and I don’t mean the roles that we have, like, I don’t mean like I’m a mom, I’m a wife. I’m not like I don’t mean that I mean like I’m kind that’s like one of my guiding principles, right as being a kind person is like caring about people, right? Of one of I think my highest guiding principles. Well I’ve pulled my values elicited my values from my unconscious so I know what those are but I think a lot of the Who I am is are like I am expansive, I am always learning I am a growth seeking fragment of consciousness. I’ve said that before, like, so I think that as we we look at like we’re we want to expand into what we want to experience in our lives, we always have to go back to who were being. And I realized that day in June sitting on my balcony that I wasn’t being who I really wanted to be, and that I was going to need to make some changes, you know, I was going to need to shift how I was looking at things, what I was daring to do, where I was putting my energy and my focus. And like I said, a lot of things really, really changed for me that sort of culminated in this first of the year, of having like these big things happen that that I don’t think could have happened before. And that whole experience has been continuing. And I’m wondering if this is happening with a lot of people because we went through and are no, we’re still in the pandemic. And so it caused us to like, pause and reflect and get clarity. I mean, every time there’s something that you’re like, I hate that, like, I freaking can’t stand that. It’s giving you clarity towards what you want. Right? Like anytime I’m like, Oh, my God, that does not feel good. I know that that’s a clarifying feeling to show me what does feel good. Now the problem is a lot of people don’t stop to shift to what the other side of that coin is, right? So then we get caught up in the this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I hate this. And I know I’ve done that before, too. And what I was thinking about over the last, like four or five days really is about this word vibration. Right? Because we hear that like thrown around a lot. I think, like raise your vibration, like good vibes only, like, what is that? Like? What is that really like really, really on a deep level? What does that mean? And what is your vibration? And so I wanted to talk a little bit about that. And sort of how I see that and how I see your vibration. How I see your vibration, shifting you in maybe some ways that you’re aware of or that you want. And then maybe there’s some things that you don’t want and you’re not aware of, and you don’t understand why those things are happening. And I’ve been doing some experiments myself over the past three weeks, probably where I realized that I was really focusing a lot on some things I didn’t want. And I was experiencing a lot of anxiety, man, I’ve talked on like several shows about how I was using that calm, right, I realized I realized I was coming on the show, like several times going I don’t know if I told you about this. And I had told you about it. Like that’s how obsessed I was with it because it was helping me so much. Because I was having this thing. So I don’t know, maybe about three weeks ago, I was like, alright, the column is great. Like, all the things are great, but why? Why am I having this, like what is actually happening. And when we look at who we are, you know who we are being who we think we are, there is a whole
I want to say like unit of values and beliefs that surround that being of who you are. So I want to paint a picture of this for you. So if you could imagine a flower like imagine the kind of flower you draw, you know, you draw the circle, and then you do like the loop de loop de loop de loop loop loop all around it. Okay, the thing right in the middle is your value. And your values have a whole bunch of flower petals around it that are belief systems that support that value. So anytime I’m working with people, either in my group program or one on one or teaching people inside the alchemy Institute, I’m talking about shifting the thing in the middle of the flower because if you change that thing in the middle, if you change that value, then all of those beliefs have to shift because those petals were supporting that middle and if that middle changes, then everything changes. And so over the last few weeks, I was really thinking deeply about our vibration and where my vibration was coming from I knew that that like anxiety, I’m going to say anxiety but that feeling of anxiety was coming from was some sort of mismatch in my conscious thinking and my unconscious thinking. Okay, so I’m going to break this down for you. So I know you if you’ve been here a while you’ve heard me talk about this. But we have our conscious mind, which is like the part of us that’s like listening right now and making judgments and thinking and maybe has like your grocery list going on in the background, like, all of that’s conscious mind. Your unconscious mind is not only running all of your biological processes and habits and micro expressions on your face and reactions, and when you’re triggered by things, but it’s also holding all of these values and beliefs and the deep identity that those values and beliefs support. So if my value is that I’m, if I say I am a kind person, there’s a value there and kindness. And then there’s a whole bunch of beliefs about what I have to do, or who I have to be or what makes somebody kind, right. And so if those things are different, from what my conscious mind is thinking, I’m going to experience some sort of mismatch.
So I’m going to give you another example. Somebody comes to me and they say, I want to lose weight, like consciously, they want to lose weight. They know, for health reasons, they need to lose weight, maybe they know, they want to feel better and look better in their clothes, like consciously, they have all of these things. But unconsciously unknown to them, they also have a lot of beliefs around what it means to be middle aged, or what it means to be a good mom, or what it means to be a wife, or what it means to be a dedicated worker, or employee, or whatever those things are, that may contradict what they consciously want. And when there’s a contradiction there, there’s like, it’s like, if you fist bump, you know, your fist bumping, the conscious mind and the unconscious mind are connecting together, and there’s no movement, because they’re almost like parallelizing each other, they’re stopping each other. And so that’s creating, when we talk about vibration, that is your vibration, your vibration is maybe a push and pull. If you get both of those things moving in the same direction, where they both want the same thing. My conscious mind wants the same thing as my unconscious mind. That’s when people start realizing their goals and moving forward and feeling unstuck. Their their vibration, I’m using air quotes. I know you can’t see me, but I always think you can. Their vibration is that I’m, everything’s flowing in the same direction. Everything unconsciously that I want is the same as the thing that I consciously want. So when we talk about vibration, I always think of that is what is happening on the undercurrent, what’s happening in my unconscious mind. And the reason that that is so important is because our unconscious mind runs, like 9596, I would almost say that was generous. But let’s say 95% of everything that you do think react to respond to is all unconscious. So if you have a goal, let’s say to lose weight, the moment you’re not thinking about it, your unconscious mind is running the show. And if that unconscious mind is not aligned with that goal, you’re not going to have success. Okay, so now I’m going to bring it back to me having this like, feelings of anxiety. And I started thinking about why is that happening? And I was like my conscious mind and my unconscious mind are in two different spaces. And so what where is that? Like, what area of my life? Is that? What Why am I feeling that? Like what is it that needs to happen? And you may be in this spot too, right now where? Because I think a lot of us are just because of the way the world has been. But we’re making like big leaps forward, right? We’re we’re changing the way that we’re doing things. We’re, we’re building ourselves and like stepping up to receive new things. I know I have gotten a lot of opportunities. In the past like four months that I had been wanting for a long time. I’m going to talk about some of those in just a nother episode or two. But like I have an opportunity to I’m going to New York City in a few days to meet with some producers of some big daytime talk shows one on one meetings, like something that I wanted for a long, long time. So why would that be causing me like this anxiety? Why would opportunities that I’ve wanted To be causing me to feel unsteady? Have you been thinking about becoming a coach, but you’re not sure where to start? Are you already a coach or a therapist, and you really want new ways to help your clients transform, I want to invite you into the alchemy Institute. It’s a place where we create world class, board certified coaches, trained in nlp hypnosis, deep streaming EFT and time techniques. With this knowledge, you can upgrade your business and create your life. Go at your own pace with our on demand trainings, or attend one of our live events, you can get more information at Betsy pake.com. Or head straight to the academy at the alchemy institute.co.
I’ll see you there. The reason is, because there’s this push and pull. And for me, I feel like that was an identity piece, where there was part of me that was still this like online coach or like a part of my identity. That was I’m going to use the word stuck. But I that doesn’t totally resonate. But a part of me that was stuck back in who I was like two years ago. And the truth is I’ve changed a lot. I’ve grown a lot. I do things much different. I’ve learned new things. I I assimilate those things into the work that I do. And I have stepped into, like who I want to be and how that is. But there was a part of me that was like, no, no, no, you’re still this, I am still this. And so that push and pull between, it’s almost like being in like the limbo between like, who I have been and where I’m going, right. And the moment that I had that recognition, and I was like, Wait a second, I’m gonna allow myself to step into this new identity. And so I started to really pick out what would that version of me be doing? Like, how would she be responding to things? What would she spend her time on? How would she be thinking? How would she respond to to people or vendors? Or like any of that stuff? What would be okay, and what would be not okay. And, and what is that identity. And so I got really clear on that identity, I really started to focus in on how I was feeling every day, and cutting out any of the things that I used to do regularly, that were holding me in that old identity. So
my husband, and I think maybe it’s since like, COVID, I never really watched TV that much. But once COVID happened, then, you know, I started watching Netflix or whatever. And I noticed over the last couple of months, we’d have the news on at night, even if it was just like on and I was doing other things, but it was beyond the background. And so I started looking at what are all of these little things that I’m doing that may not, you know, they may escape my awareness. And I want to evaluate those because how do I know if I’m in the right vibration? Is because I feel good. And I wasn’t feeling good. So I was like, What am I doing every day? And how is that impacting me. And I started to break those things apart and say, I’m going to embed myself in the things that will move me forward. So like, I know listening to Abraham Hicks on YouTube, instead of having the news on that that’s like a huge shift for me, even if I’m not listening, but it’s just on in the background, right? That’s what I’m hearing because remember, our unconscious mind hears everything. It knows everything that’s going on. So if it’s in within earshot, and it’s it’s some terrible movie, or it’s the awful news, or whatever it is, my unconscious mind is going to be hearing that and it’s going to be impacting me. And so I started to shift all that actually said to my husband, like we have a new rule. All we’re allowed to play, like Abraham Hicks and the happy things were I actually said we’re not going to discuss anything that’s controversial. Now, you might be thinking like Betsy, some of these, some parts of the news are important and some parts of like, knowing what’s going on in the world is important and you know, having difficult conversations is important. Yes, yes, absolutely. And right now, because I was trying to clear up this vibration issue I was having, that was more important. So that took precedence. So everything else kind of goes to the side right? So How do I know if this is working is I start to feel better. Like that’s it, I start to feel better. So I started to spend more time in my journal, focusing on what it would be like, when I’m where I want to be when I’m feeling great when I’m living the life I want to have, right, but I’m writing it in my journal as if it’s today. So whereas in the past, I would open up my journal, and I would kind of like say the things that were on my mind, I would ask my inner knower questions. And I might harp on some crap going on in the world, right. Now, when I open it up, I do ask my inner knower things. But now I’m saying I love the sound of the waterfall, by the pool in my backyard, don’t mean, so I’m building that whole experience. Now, you’ve probably heard of these studies, there are studies study after study that says my mind doesn’t know if something’s real, or if it’s my imagination. And so if that if my mind thinks that’s real, that I love the sound of my waterfall, by my pool in the backyard, like, that’s making me feel good, it’s changing, like my vibration, it’s changing what’s going to be allowed into my awareness. Now, when we talk about our conscious mind, and our unconscious mind, our conscious mind, it gets 126 pieces of information every second, but the amount of information coming in is 2.3 million pieces of information every second. So if I’m writing in my journal about how I love this thing, and this thing is so great, and I feel so good. And I love that I get to do this. And these people stopped by and this happens. And I have this opportunity. And if I am focusing on that, my unconscious mind now is sifting and sorting through that 2.3 mil million pieces of information, and giving me a different 126 pieces of information. So whereas before, it would take the 2.3 million Give me 126. Now it’s taking the 2.3 million. It’s assessing it based on what I’m focused on, and showing me something different. So this can be so important because it opens up opportunities. It gives you that feeling of oh, I want to do that now. Right aligned action. I’m feeling like right now I should post this thing or ask this question or reach out to this person. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this inkling to reach out to somebody and when I do, they’re like, oh, my gosh, I was just thinking about you. Right? Of course, of course you were. And then there’s this thing, this opportunity, or I have something for them, you know, and it’s because we were in that alignment, because we were being shown those 126 bits that we needed to have it gave us like this, this sixth sense, it made us more aware. It showed us different opportunities. So when I have a goal, when I have like a really big goal, I need to think about I know sometimes people think like I need to spend like 20 minutes every day visualizing that goal, you really don’t you just just think about it once, write it down, stick it in the cosmic crock pot, and then just focus on being happy. Just focus on feeling good every day. Like that’s it. And if you can focus on feeling good everyday, you’ll start to get ideas that will lead you down the path to the thing. And so I started to shift everything that I was having in my awareness. So Abraham Hicks audiobooks that were uplifting and fun. I started reading some books, and I think I mentioned this on another show. But I started reading some books that were just fun to read, you know, things that made me laugh. I started to journal about what I really wanted and how thankful I was that I had that. And I started to shift consciously in the areas that were causing me to struggle. So if I noticed, I was getting that feeling of anxiety, I just immediately stopped, took big deep breaths, because that’s telling my nervous system that everything’s fine. And then I’m just exploring that. Like, what is that? What’s the topic? That’s making me feel that and sometimes I couldn’t tell? Sometimes I would just guess. And sometimes I knew. And then what I love to do is I love to write better feeling thoughts. So I just started writing better feeling thoughts around that thing. So, for example, if I would catch wind that there was something let’s say something negative happening in the news, right? There’s nothing that you can think of that would be good heard about a school shooting, right? You hear about a school shooting like it’s devastating. It’s awful, it feels desperate. And it would definitely add to that feeling of,
I always call it jello like, I
feel like jello, like, I just feel like, I feel like I have to just lay down, there’s nothing that feels so overwhelming, right. And so I would write that at the top of the piece of paper. And then I would write what are better feeling thoughts. And sometimes I would really have to search for those, sometimes I would come up with thoughts. But those really wouldn’t be better feeling, they will just be another thought. So I would say now, it’s not that it’s not that it’s not that. And I would come up with things like it’s bringing the discussion more to the forefront, that feels a little bit better, not great, but it feels a little bit better. And then from there, I could say like, if people could start having discussions, that’s how we can make progress. It’s when we don’t have discussions that no progress is made. And that feels a lot better. And then there’s been a lot of times where big huge things have been solved or corrected or expanded or come up with other solutions when people have had discussions. And that feels really good, right? And then I could take another thought from there. And so the more and more thoughts that I could have around that thing, I could start to shift it where it felt better, where I would think about it, and I wouldn’t have the story in my head that I had in the beginning. Now it doesn’t mean it’s not awful. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s awful. But I can’t come up with anything. And nobody, I’ve truly believed this, nobody can come up with anything that’s gonna really help if you’re coming up with it from a place of like despair and, and horror, right? We’ve got to have expansiveness, the other day, I saw something on Instagram.
That was shared by like one of those good accounts, like good thoughts are good to produce, you know, you probably know what I mean. And I shared this. So if you follow me on social media, you probably saw it. And I’m gonna get the details of it wrong. But it was basically like a mayor, who was tracking all the peaceful parts in the city. So she was putting like pins on a big map, instead of tracking the the crime, she was tracking places that had improved or places that were doing better. And I think that’s, like, so powerful, because I really believe that so many of us understand this idea of where I’m focusing is what I’m getting. And then something terrible happens. And we just dive right down the rabbit hole of how awful it is. And that can be out in the world, or that can be in our lives. Now, we don’t have a lot of control out in the world, we have a lot of control over our lives, unless we’re a politician, right? We can vote, I get all that. But we have control over us. And if you can improve you, it can improve other people, it leads to the collective it does lead to a greater being for for everybody. I totally believe that. And so if there is a whole world of happy feeling people, then those happy feeling people aren’t making others unhappy. Does this make sense? What I’m saying? Now, I understand there’s complexities to this. And I know, I can, I can already. I can hear what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking it too. And I and I understand there’s complexities and different layers to this. But what I want to offer you today is the idea that you can control how you’re feeling. You can control if you’re normally organized person that’s listening, your vibration can be shifted by you concentrating on how you’re feeling by you making like a focused effort to shift it. By taking away the things and the patterns that have kept you stuck, and kept you where you were, and allowing yourself to expand into the next version of you by supporting that with better feeling thoughts, better feelings, stories, and thoughts and ideas and people that are expansive and telling you good things. You know, when we set those goals, and we just set those in the throw them in the crock pot and let them brew, and then we focus on being happy. We start to get an alignment and those things start to just come to us where it feels like magic. You know, over those last few weeks, or last few months when I was feeling that feeling of anxiety. I was like this is so weird for me like it was very strange for me. And I think that there is typic We this feeling of I think, like magical things happen to me all the time. I’m always saying that magical things happen. I experience miracles every single day. There’s cool stuff and cool, like, I’m using air quotes, coincidences, you know, magical, magical things. But I had gotten so stuck in this, like thought process that was kind of keeping me in a feeling that didn’t didn’t support me. And so I finally had to get to the point where I was like, Okay, I’m going to do something drastic, and just really, really harness it, and go all in in the other direction. And that did it, it popped right out, it felt so much better. And I have felt so much better now for about a week. So I share that with you, in my, my experience, in case that could help you to you know, in case, maybe you need to do an inventory of where you’re spending your time, what you’re focused on, what you’re, what you’re spending your time lingering on. And maybe it needs to be like a drastic overhaul where you’re like no news. No, not none of that stuff until I can get to a place where I can feel supported and safe and steady. And then spend your time anytime you have that feeling of oh, I don’t feel good. Ask yourself what that is. See, what’s the better feeling thought all you need, you know, all you need is a mustard seed, the tiniest thought can lead to the next thought into the next thought and the next thought. And I think when you can do that, I think that is when you begin to live a big life. So thank you so much for listening. I hope that you go out and increase your vibration, get your vibration going where you want. I love you so much. I will see you all next week.
Bye bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.