325: Tactical changes I’m making to create a new reality


In today’s episode, Betsy shares six key things she’s doing now to continue creating reality in a way that she chooses. She talks about getting uncomfortable and why it’s important but also how to set it up so that it feels expansive and not full of anxiety.

The six tactical changes she’s making start first thing in the morning and and implemented all day so that you stay conscious and don’t allow yourself to slip back into habits of thought that don’t support where you want to go.

To join us on the journey inside The Alchemy Institute, be sure to check out www.TheAlchemyInstitute.co and reach out to Betsy if you have more questions!


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to today’s show. I have some ideas. You know, it’s funny, because I’ve been doing this show for I mean, I think it’s a little over six years now, I want to say like six and a half years, but I think I started it like in August or September. So like six little over six years. And recently I was on a podcast called do the thing. She asked me to come back on and be on a podcasting panel for a challenge that she’s doing. Now. I was on the panel on Monday, and we were all talking it was a bunch of podcasters some people have had podcasts or podcasts like the same amount of time, some people had multiple podcasts, like it was just really fascinating to hear how everybody, like, got started. But the interesting thing was that so many people have this, like, I’m gonna call it like this radar, that as they’re going through their lives, they’re looking at everything through the lens of this thing that just happened. Is this something worthy of sharing, right? Is this like educational or thought provoking? Or inspiring or worth while of telling you like, is it entertaining? You know, and it’s funny, because I know that I view my world through that. And that has been really, really helpful to me for lots of reasons. One is for the podcast, one is for my speaking, one is just for making meaning out of my life. But it was interesting, because all the people on the podcast on that panel did the same thing. So as I’ve been going about the past few weeks, I have been as I always do, like thinking underneath, like, how can I share this? How could this be helpful to people? And is this something that could propel people forward? Right? So I’ve got some tactical things that I’ve been doing that I think might help you, as you expand into the next part of your life, the next year, or however feels comfortable to you. I know some people don’t like the whole resolution thing, which I’m totally fine with. I like Mondays, I like fresh starts. I mean, afternoons is a fresh start to me, of constantly giving myself another chance to just release the past and start over. And I think that’s what a lot of resolution time is, right? It’s an opportunity for people to let go of everything that’s already happened of all the stories, and all the past failures or perceived failures and to create something totally different in their life. And I think that’s like the hope, right? It’s like this piece of hope that we’re like, I have the belief that things can get better. And so I’m going to take this leap, I’m going to set this resolution or whatever you call it, it, it’s the essence of it is the same, right? It’s this fresh start in this hope. And I know, you’ve probably heard me talk over the past like 12 months, 18 months about how different things have been. And I know that back in May, I’ve talked about how I started getting like a lot of anxiety.

I became obsessed with calm that those gummies I talked about those all the time. I also eat those Well, I’m drinking coffee, like I’m like, maybe I should just stop drinking the coffee. But I think if I eat enough magnesium, it’ll, it’ll cancel out the coffee. So I know that for me, that was an indicator that I’m stepping outside the box. So although it felt uncomfortable, and I didn’t especially enjoy it, I knew that it meant I was doing different things. And I was this year was totally different in a variety of ways. And I felt that right. I felt it in my body. I had to learn to adjust my nervous system to be okay with the things that were happening, because they were new things. And what’s interesting is I’ve got some of those things happening again at the beginning of 2023 that were new back in May and June, July and August. And those things I realized this morning, I was like those aren’t hardly even a blip for me now. Like I know they’re coming and I’m like cool, but like I’m not like oh my god is coming. I gotta make sure I’m ready. There’s no anxiety. I don’t need to take calm. I just take them now because I like

how they taste. So, like it. I know, though, that I’ve, I want to experience that level of

I don’t want to be anxiety ridden. That’s not what I’m saying. But like that uncomfortableness, right, because that means I’m continuing to grow. And I think that as I move forward, and I say, Okay, I want that uncomfortableness, I want to know that I’m growing. I want to step outside my comfort zone and do totally different things. I have a giant pack of calm, I have a jumbo canister of calm, I’m ready. Also, I want to put things in place that start to support this version of me that I’m calling in, so that I don’t have to mess around with all of that. Right? How cool would it be to know I’m doing totally new things. And although I sense, there is a shift, I’m not feeling unhappy from it, I’m not feeling anxiety ridden, I’m just feeling like, oh, this is a little uncomfortable. To me, that would be far superior than being anxiety ridden. I also want to point out when I say anxiety ridden, what I mean is the feelings of anxiety, I didn’t have diagnosable anxiety that’s different. So I’m talking here about the feelings of anxiety and the feelings of being really nervous or of, of being outside your comfort zone. So I want I’ve been doing some things as I was approaching the whole idea of 2023. And what I really want to create for my life, how I want to uplevel the things I want to experience. Once I had those figured out, I was like, I’m going to start now, like, the first week in January for me is going to be like week five of this. So I wanted to start now. So I offer that to you. Because you also could start now, I also don’t mean like, stress yourself out and be super busy and be hardcore on your goals unless that feels aligned to you. I also am finding a balance between flow and hustle, right, the flow of being in alignment with things and the hustle of doing the work, right of like showing up and doing what needs to be done to make it happen. So I want to share with you some of the tactical things that I’ve been doing and some of the shifts in case you want to adopt those or it causes you to just think of something a little bit different. So Alright, so let’s get started here. And actually, if you want to go through some of this, let me say this really quick. And actually, no, not really quick, let me share with you an opportunity, I have something called the collective. This is simply access to all my courses, including my new course personal deep streaming, which if you’re on my text list, and you get my texts, it is how I get those messages. So there is a course in there now for that, as well as like six or seven of my other courses, all my hypnosis is everything.

And then once a week, I come in live almost like a live podcast. It’s usually like 20 minutes. There’s time for q&a, if anybody has questions, and I’m sharing a new idea or way to see things or two way to help you uplevel your life. It’s it’s much more tactical, I think, than the show typically is. But definitely I give you journal prompts and things to do so that when you come the next week, we’re already moving forward and giving you more new ideas that kind of stack on. So if you’re interested in joining us, and you just go to my website, you’ll see right underneath that big picture of me, you know, the big thing that says like hire me to speak right underneath that you’ll see it it says join the collective weekly dates with your unconscious mind. That’s where you want to go join us get in there now it’s it’s so insanely inexpensive. You guys, if you don’t jump in there, now you’re gonna kick yourself later. It’s less than a cup of coffee, like the kind of coffee you make at home every day. So it’s cheap. But honestly, it’s a no brainer. If you want to do any kind of work with me. It’s a no brainer. So, so jump into the collective. And then let’s get started on kind of how I’ve been thinking and doing things for this coming year.

You’ve heard me say this before. And you probably have heard this before. You’ve probably thought this before. But

I believe that we are creators that we create our reality. And there’s science to back this up in terms of my reticular activating system. And what I’m focused on begins to be shown to me more and more and more, my brain starts to scan for that and look for it. So it knows what’s important to me. If I’m lingering on something, spending a lot of time there, or if it’s highly emotional thing

give it like a Facebook algorithm. Facebook knows when I like somebody posts something, even if it’s something I don’t like, if I interact with it, Facebook thinks I want to see more of it, right? So think of your reticular activating system like that we are constantly creating, by making choices. We’re constantly creating by what we choose to spend our time on, or put our focus on, or give our attention. And if that’s true, which I know it is, scientifically, I know that that’s true. And I know that’s true from the work that I do with NLP, then why would I ever get up in the morning, and go completely unconscious, and go in the bathroom and brush my teeth? And, you know, get in my sweatpants and come out and get my coffee? Or put my workout clothes on? Why would I do any of that? Before I decided who I wanted to be? Now the moment that I get up, and I’m not conscious ly thinking, right? I’m not consciously thinking, I’m going unconscious. And so all of my past patterns and behaviors and thoughts and experiences are just running. So if I know it’s true that I’m creating my reality,

and I want something new, then wouldn’t it make sense to create the new reality for myself before I got out of bed. So that is the work that I have been doing. As soon as I get up, I have to go pee. So I do do that unconscious, I get right back on, I make my bed actually. And I sit right back up on my bed, I have one of those brown pillows that goes under your knees. So I sit I put the blanket on, I put that round pillow under my knees and I put my headset on. So now, if you don’t have one of those round pillows for under your knees, like really get you one is good. So I’m there. I’m like, relaxed. I’m still in that space of not quite awake and not asleep. Do you know how you could get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom, and you’re awake, but you’re not really that’s where I want to stay. And the reason is, because that’s a shift or a change in my brainwave state. And I want to be in that brainwave state, my brainwaves are at a slower rate. Because in that state, I’m very suggestible in that state, when I think of things or hear things, I don’t have a conscious reaction that rejects it. So it’s really nice if I can stay in that state. And what I do is I meditate, and I go in, and I get in the feeling of what it is that I want to accomplish. Now, when I first started doing this, like three weeks ago, I started going really big, like I started going like, Okay, I’m gonna get in the feeling of the version of me, who lives at the beach, or I don’t even know if that’s truly what I want, right? So it was feeling like, kind of a lot of like, it was feeling like,

Okay, I’m focused on this, but it’s not really, I don’t even know if this is what I want. And this isn’t really real. You know how sometimes you have those goals, or you put stuff on your vision board. And in the back of your mind, you’re like, This is never happening. Like, I just don’t even know if that’s really what I want, or, you know, so I started out that way, this big picture of me like imagining myself walking back to my pool, you know what I mean? And that’s fine, it felt good. And I was feeling a shift from that I was noticing that I had shifted, and I’ll explain what I mean in a second. And then I thought, I want to get really specific on this with what I’m trying to accomplish right now. So what I’m trying to build or what I’m trying to do right now. And so now in the morning, I have been diving into this month in December. And you heard me talk about it last week about how we’re enrolling in the alchemy Institute, and I’m doing this beta, which I think is going to be so cool. And so I’m talking to people and getting people enrolled. And so I have an idea of what that looks like I have an idea of people going, oh my god, this changed my life. I have a vision of people messaging me and me seeing the emails pop up that say, I never thought this would happen to me the way that it did. I never thought I would have these ideas. I never thought I’d be able to I never thought I would. You know once we get exposed to something, then we get exposed to other things and other things and other things. Right. So I have this, this dream, this idea that people will be exposed to it and then all of the sudden they’ll go oh my god, this is the thing. This next thing that came from that is the thing I’ve been looking for. So I’m really getting in that moment of what does that feel?

like to know that we’ve brought these dozen people together. And they’re going through this incredible experience together. And they’re shifting and changing and also learning and like how I show up in that, right? How I’m helping facilitate that, that change and how we’re handling all the things I’m like, I’m imagining that and really getting in the energy of that.

And then from there, I get up, and I hold that, I hold it as long as I possibly can. And I go, and then I brush my teeth, and I do my workout and I do my journaling. And I eat my breakfast, and I do my normal things from that space, as that version of me because that version of Mies reticular activating system is different. That version of me is going to notice the different things, it’s gonna require different things, it’s going to show up in a different way. And so I want to hold that as long as I can. I want to hold it all day, if I can. And so before I get out of bed, right with any significance other than going to be, I get into being who I want to be the version of me who has what I want, right now, again, I didn’t go big, like, the version of me that wants what I want right now. And this month is a component of that bigger version. But it felt much better. And I also began getting signs and ideas and things that would happen that would help me in this moment, which was really helpful.

The second thing that I’m doing is I’m being super intentional, before everything that I do. So this isn’t just like, Okay, well, my intention is to have fun. I mean, that’s great. But I mean, before I send an email, I actually type out my intention for sending this email. Before I do this podcast, my intention for doing this podcast, you know, before I text, my husband, my intention for texting my husband, I am trying to bring that intention into my awareness. And what I’ve found is a couple things. One is that it creates a much better focus, so that I’m communicating so much clearer. My ideas aren’t scattered all over, because I absolutely know the direction that I’m going. And it helps me come up with ideas for the thing. I was trying to write an email, I don’t know, maybe like two weeks ago, inside the collective every Monday morning, I send out this guidepost with my thoughts for the week what we’re going to work on a journaling prompt stuff like that. And I was like, I know what I want to say, but it’s not coming out wasn’t coming out, right. And all of a sudden, I was like, Oh my gosh, I didn’t do the intention. So I set the intention. And all of the sudden it was like, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, like a game. So clear what I was supposed to be how I was supposed to be communicating it, it was just really, really great. So I want to offer the idea of setting up intention.


you know, we can go really extreme with this, which I have. I’m getting in the car, what’s my intention? My intention is to have it be easy to have the traffic, the roadways be clear, to have good songs to listen to, to be and have it be enjoyable, right? I mean, I can have an intention for every part of what my day is, you know, ate lunch, my intention is to be fueled and to feel good. And to feel like I have a lot of energy and feel like I’m supporting my body. Like, we can be intentional about everything. And it will change what your actions are, it’s going to change how you experience the thing. And if you can set up your intention, so that aligns with who you are being that you chose in the morning. If you didn’t go unconscious, then that’s a great way for you to help reinforce that throughout the day.

All right, so here’s my other tactical thing that I’ve been doing. Number three is I

I check my emails, I have my emails on all the time. And I have heard before like only check your emails a few times a day and I just am like I can’t like I am always checking like it’s a habit. It’s unconscious. And so I decided I was going to make it conscious by making a rule that anytime I checked, I could check anytime because it didn’t feel good to me to only have certain times it felt weird. So I can check anytime but if I check, and there’s something to deal with. I

I have to deal with it right then. So I can’t just read through 10 emails and then be like, I’ll come back later. Because what was happening was I was getting like 40 emails deep of stuff that I had to take action on. And I hadn’t done, you know, replied back with a link or filled out a form or done whatever I needed to do. You know, I have people on my team that are messaging me a lot, my booking agent, lots of other things, fill this out, do this, do this. And if I’m looking at it, but then I’m not ready to take action, then those things like start to clog, and then a couple of days go by, and I’m like, Oh, dang, I wake up at three o’clock in the morning, like, Oh, my God, I never filled out that form. So my thing is, I can look anytime. But if I look, and I have to take action, I have to take action on it, then I can’t go to the next email, I have to reply right, then I have to do whatever right then. And that has been so huge, because it has emptied out my brain. I was, you know, we talked about, if you’re new here, I’m going to explain this again. But we talked about the chunks. So I’m taking in a couple million bits of information into my nervous system. I’m receiving those bits by things, I’m seeing things, I’m hearing things I’m feeling right, all this stuff coming into my nervous system. But my nervous system, my mind can’t handle all of that. And so what my unconscious mind does, is it takes everything in, and then it sections off about 126 of those bits of information. Okay, so I’ve got 2 million pieces of information coming in, I’m only looking or getting conscious awareness of 126 teeny, teeny tiny bit. When people say you only use like 5% of your brain, I think this is what they’re actually talking about. So my unconscious mind is seeing and hearing everything, every voice outside every temperature change every, every little thing that’s going on, that I’m not consciously aware of. Like, for example, right now, can you become aware of your heel,

you probably weren’t even aware you had to heal before they said that. But now you’re like, my attention has gone there. That means your energy has gone there. Okay, so now it’s in your conscious awareness, it’s in one of those 126 bits of information. But here’s what my brain does, is it it? chunks, things. So when we talk about 126 bits, we’re talking about seven, plus or minus two chunks. So maybe nine chunks, maybe five chunks, that my brain chunks stuff into to help me remember, now this is in my conscious awareness. So if I’m, if I have a bunch of little things I have to do around the house, right. And then and like, I’ve got to wipe off the kitchen counter, I’ve got to sweep up something the dog made a mess with his toy, I gotta pick that up, like, might be four or five things, but I’ve chunked those into one thing, because that’s like household stuff I gotta do, I gotta run to the grocery store. So now I have a list running list in my head, right? If you don’t make a list, you’ve got a running list in your head, I gotta get butter, I gotta get sugar, I gotta get chunking into the stuff that you’d need at the store. Okay, so I’m chunking stuff all the time.

Now, if I have these emails that I have opened the tab, and they have gone into my brain, they are taking space away

from my chunks, right there taking the 126 bits. If I’m thinking about those things, then I’m not thinking about other things. I can’t deal with everything. And so my unconscious mind says just put it in your unconscious, just make her forget for a minute because she can’t remember everything. And the moment it goes into my unconscious, I’m going to be thinking about it three o’clock in the morning and wake up because my unconscious mind is gonna be like, Hey, do you have to do something with that? We’ve been keeping track of it, but consciously you never dealt with that. So if I go into my email, and I deal with it, in that moment, it never has to figure out what to do. I just release, release, release. So now I’m meditating, I’m becoming this person I want to be I’m setting an intention before I do everything. And I’m dealing with things that are coming into my awareness and putting them in the proper space so that they’re not out there floating around. Okay, so now my energy is opened up right when I said look at your heal your energy goes there. So I’m opening up I’ve got more energy now. I want to put my energy on who I’m being I want to have energy for things. And so this is a way for me to get rid of this clog right that I’ve had. Alright, the next thing that I have done tactical thing is that if I go on so

Social media. And if you follow me on social media might see I haven’t been there as much the last couple of weeks. There’s a part of me that says I should write I should. But what I, I’ve been really busy, and I want to be I want to set a time limit every time I go on social media, because I do not want to go unconscious. I go unconscious on social media. And sometimes like, if it’s a weekend and I’m like, I want to spend an hour on Tik Tok, be entertained. That’s totally fine, because that’s my intention. So I am, I am setting a time limit. And I’m setting the intention for what am I trying to accomplish? Because here’s what will happen is you will go on there,

maybe you won’t, I do, I will. I will go on there. And then I’ll start to see stuff. I am not consciously thinking, Oh, I’m not enough or I’m not doing that they’re doing this. I’m not consciously doing that.

And I think I’m unconsciously doing that. I’m unconsciously comparing myself to other entrepreneurs. And what I do is I compare myself to really big entrepreneurs, people with multi multimillion dollar businesses that have huge teams. And I don’t have a huge team. I have an amazing little team but I but I don’t have a huge team and but I’m comparing myself to somebody who does like for example, Mel Robbins, right? We have the same glasses, which is why a lot of people ask me like, Oh, do you know Mel Robbins. It reminds me of Mel Robbins. And in my heart I’m like, Ah, I want Mel Robbins to remind you of Betsy pake.

That’s who I’m being. I’m being Betsy pake at the very highest level. But then when I go into social media, all of a sudden, I’m not being the best version of Betsy pake, I’m being the comparison of Betsy pake to somebody else. And so I’m setting a time limit and an intention on social media. What is it? Why am I doing this? Why am I going on here? And what is it that I’m trying to accomplish? Because if I’m Mindlessly scrolling, just for where I am right now, in my life, like I said, on the weekends, perhaps I want to be entertained, perhaps I want, you know, something else. But during the week, I am trying to be really intentional. And and even on the weekend, I want to make sure that I’m I’m noticing why I’m spending time there. And what I really want to accomplish, and entertainment is okay, as long as you’re aware. And that’s your intention. And if your intention is to be entertained, your unconscious mind is going to skip right over the ways that you could be comparing. Okay. All right. This is the last thing that I am doing 12345 The fifth and final thing that I’m doing

is that I’m asking myself, Is this helping me?

Is this helping me? So

you know, I think we all have ideas or goals or things that we’d like to experience in our life. And maybe you’re not like a super goal, like you’re not setting out your SMART goals. I don’t necessarily do that either. But we have an idea of what we’d like to experience. Right. And

we have thoughts or ideas, maybe places we want to see in the world, maybe things we’d like to do for work, right maybe how we’d like our relationships to be maybe things we’d like to do with our kids or the way we’d like our relationship to be with our kids, all of that stuff. And so as I’m setting my intention, I’m also evaluating is this helping me? Is it helping me get to that? And honestly, if I worked for somebody else, especially if it’s work related,

what I put this off, like, because sometimes they’ll be like, I don’t feel like doing that, which is a,

I guess, like a benefit of working for yourself. But also, sometimes things need to get done. So I’m like, Is this helping me by not doing it? And if it doesn’t matter, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna do this other thing first, and then I’ll do it. That’s totally fine. But if it’s something that I’m saying, is this helping me and I go, No, this is not helping me. This is actually the old me. This is actually me being unconscious. That’s pulling me back into how I used to be before I did my meditation and decided who I wanted to be what the best version of me was. And so if I’ve gone unconscious, I can consciously make a choice to get back into that feeling. So by asking myself this question, is this helping me allows me to reevaluate and ask myself, Is this helping me or have I gone unconscious?

And then at the end of the day, I asked myself, I sit

I guess this would be my final thing is that I sit and I ask as I reevaluate the day, if you’ve gone through any of my programs that you’ve heard me say this, but when I teach, either inside the institute or inside my RISE program, I teach about a methodology that I use in the evening. In fact, I’ll, I’ll go through some of that in the collective. That’s a great thing to do at the beginning of the year, but I, my nighttime routine is just as important as my dates morning, my morning routine. And I evaluate, where did I go unconscious? What negative emotions came up for me? What limiting beliefs did I identify? And how can I shift so that I feel better about the day, and none of this is lingering? In my unconscious, I’m closing the loops.

And I’m getting to a place where I feel good about the day. And I can release anything that might be holding me back, I can just let it go. And there’s different ways that we do that with NLP. And I think that it’s something that we can simply ask ourselves, where did I go unconscious? Where did I go unconscious, and just go over your entire day? And then you can decide next time that happens? What can I do differently? How can I how can I remain present in the moment, so that I am aware of my choices, and my time and my intention.

And I really think that when we can begin to do that when we can begin to be present in that.

That’s, that’s how we can live a really big life. So I hope that these ideas helped you, I hope you take one or two or all of them and begin to implement, I hope that this next 12 months can be really, really incredible for you, I know that it can. And I hope that I see you and get to know you inside the collective or inside the alchemy Institute. This year, those are the places I’ll probably be the most and I would I would love to get to know you better. So thank you so much for listening. I love you so much. You deserve so so so much. And I’m rooting for you. Alright, I will see you all next week. Bye. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.