329: How to get the answers you need


In today’s episode, Betsy dives into some personal stories about finding what she needed and then teaches you some important steps to be able to tap into this knowledge for yourself. She takes things you probably have already done and clarifies the process so you get what you need every time.


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. Okay, so if you’ve been listening for any amount of time, or you follow me on Instagram or anything, then you know, it’s been a really happy few days here at the pake household since the national championship well, really since the Peach Bowl with the Georgia Bulldogs, pulling through we were at that game live. I don’t remember if I said that last week, it’s been a whirlwind. And I’ve been so sleep deprived since New Year’s Eve, because I stayed up so late for that game like I don’t I don’t stay up late, even on New Year’s Eve, typically. So now we made it through the National Championship and one and it was just such a fun, fun thing. It is now my alignment to watch the game. Have we talked about this, this might be a good thing to talk about. Okay, so I really let if I’m, like just out of whack, I really like to find something that puts me in alignment. Sometimes it’s a certain podcast, like somebody’s voice, or I’ve taken courses before where I just liked to listen to their voice. So I took this. Years ago, I took a Facebook ads course. And the woman’s voice is so soothing. Sometimes I just put it on in the background, it was like really aligning for me, like made me feel good. So, you know, keep in mind, it can be anything that brings you into alignment. And I’ve had certain books where if I read passages, and I would read the same passages over and over again. But now this game will become the the thing that makes me feel good. I’ve had a couple of games throughout the season that I wanted to watch, I would watch over and over again. And that’s sort of a thing that I do after I would watch a game after I would see a game like whether I was there live or I was watching on TV, I would be so stressed out, you know, which is weird, because I didn’t go to Georgia. So like what do I care? And in fact, in fact, the Peach Bowl was Georgia and OSU. If you’re an OSU fan, my dad worked at OSU. And so I’m, like, you know, I don’t really have a dog in the fight. And if I do I have two dogs in the same fight, like what do I care, but I would get so stressed out like the anxiety of like, what’s happening would really tweak me out. And so I really like to watch the game after I knew the outcome. Because then I have full faith. And I can practice that feeling of like, this is what it feels like to just know what’s going to happen. Like to know everything’s going to work out, right? Or there’s going to be magic, or they don’t win, and I’m still okay, I know that this sounds a little silly, but but if you can find something that kind of brings you into alignment, and something that helps you practice what that feels like. I think I’m kind of going off on a tangent here, because this wasn’t what he intended to talk about. But let’s talk about it for just a second more. Sometimes, we don’t know what it would be like, if we got the thing. I saw a post recently, I think it was Amanda Francis on Instagram. And she was talking about how she got a question that said, what is it like to be rich? Like what is that like? And she was referencing something that she saw Oprah say, and the Oprah was like, Is is great. Like, it’s really great. And she was talking about her experience, Amanda Francis was talking about her experience, being able to go into Chanel and buy anything she wanted, and also to go into Chanel, and find nothing she wanted and feel totally confident walking out. And she just talked about what that felt like, you know, to be rich. And I think that sometimes when we want something whether it’s to be rich, or it’s to have a partner or it’s to have a career that you want or a promotion you’re looking for whatever that is, you know, we talk all the time about getting in the feeling of it first. You can speed that up. Well, I love love being able to use different things where I already know the outcome like I remember I watched that movie knives out a couple of times, because it would have stressed me out. But because I knew the outcome, I could get really settled. So I get to practice being settled in times where normally I would have been tweaked out. I hope that that makes sense. But we can use stuff, we can use stuff to be able to start to shift so that we get in the feeling of the thing that we want. And we get practice doing that. Anyway, like I said, going off on a little bit of a tangent, but I hope that made sense. So why am i What’s what is today? What are we doing today? Okay, so I don’t think I told you this story. And I was thinking about it this weekend. And I was like, I want to tell this story. Because I think that when we practice, getting ourselves in a place where we’re unencumbered by all of the woods and shoulds, and things we are supposed to do and pressures, we haven’t stressed when we can get ourselves in a place where we can move that to a different room, like move that voice to a different room, and sort of shut the door, then we can connect in with this version of us, who I think is connected to like, greater intelligence, God, you know, all that is. And that is where we can find peace, that is where we can find a path. That is where we can become unstuck. That is where we find our way. And I think that all of the noise of this world tends to move us out of that space. And I’ll even say, it gets us comfortable with the idea that we never have that connection in. So we get to where not hearing ourselves. And instead, hearing all these other voices, the outside noise, I’m gonna call it when we get to the point where only hearing the outside noise becomes what’s normal, we forget that we have the capacity to dive in to go in deeper and to get the answers and to find what we need, and to find our steadiness. Right. And, you know, back in November, I went to Sedona and at that time, I think I talked about this when I was talking about how we were relaunching the alchemy Institute, which is my, my training program, right, where I train you to be board certified in NLP and hypnotherapy and all of those things. And at the time, I was, there was something missing in it, you know, I just felt like, like, it was all it was designed to be on demand. But I felt like there needed to be like a tether, that created movement so that people didn’t get lost in the ocean of all the things that they were learning. And I just couldn’t figure out how to do that. Now. There have been times in my life where I have been a big meditator. And when I say big, like in that way, I mean, like, I would sit sometimes for hours, like, like, I remember two and a half hours being like sort of a regular thing for me, like just sitting, I’m not talking about like laying down listening to a guided meditation, I’m talking about sitting and just listening in, okay. But I have moved away from that in a lot of ways, like I might sit for five or 10 minutes, or, you know, even 30 minutes or do a lot of guided meditations. But I haven’t been giving myself like this really, really huge chunk of time. And but I remember how, right because it’s sort of like riding a bike like that, what I had, what I found, when I would sit in that amount of time was that like, it took me like 20 minutes to really get settled, like to stop my brain from going all over the place, right? And then it would take about 45 minutes for me to get like a focus. So then like the 45 minutes to the like two hour mark. So only an hour and 15 minutes more was when I would have what I would call like mystical experiences or like a very deep centeredness where I felt like I was being pulled down to the ground, you know, or

I would get really clear answers on things. Now I’ve found different things over the years that have helped me get to that to that point that out that last hour and 15 minutes to that faster. So like floating if you’ve heard me talk about floating floating really does That for me. So floating is where there’s, there’s places like if you look up if you live in a big city especially, and you look up like float tank, so there’s a place that I go here in Atlanta that they have these big tanks, they are full of water and Epsom salts, so much so that you float on top of the water. I mean, you’re in the water, but like just barely. And it’s a total sensory deprivation tank. And so there’s no sound, it’s completely black. It’s like a big egg, you know, and you close the top. No sound No, nothing. No, you’re naked in it, right? So there’s no pinching of your clothes. Or you know what I mean? Like no bathing suit going up your butt, like none of that, like you’re just like floating, complete silence, sensory deprivation. And I find when I do that, I can get to that zone that last like hour and 15 minute zone really fast. But it still takes me 10 minutes or so probably 10 or 15 minutes, and then I can get into it. So I’ve noticed that like, lately I’ve been wanting like that, or yearning to like sit just sit not guided meditations, I mean, just sitting has been coming up for me a lot more like I’m, I’m drawn to it, like, I want to do it. And when I went to to Sedona at the beginning of November, I was on the airplane, and I wrote I wrote down what does the in the alchemy Institute need to be great. And then I just got, like, really in a zone. And I was almost surprised how quickly I was able to like get in this like idea this, like, open what what am I not seeing? Almost like the like, with everyone zigging. I think I talked about this before and I want to zag like, what’s the Zag? What’s different? Like, how can this be better than anything? And, and then I just got this idea. Like, it was like who it was like the idea came as a complete thought. And then I just like wrote it all out. And I mean, it was I mean, it’s it was magical, like the whole idea. And I know I’ve talked about this before, so I’m not gonna go into like the institute. But like, the idea was that if you’re, if you’re new to this idea, so I have this institute that trains people to work in all of these modalities, right? So trains them in NLP, and hypnotherapy and EFT and all these things. So they go through that NLP, it’s all on demand. And sometimes I do them live. And then they can go to Master Practitioner, which is on Zoom. So they meet with me once a week in a small group, it’s really magical. And they learn like all the skills, everything, the highest level of NLP. And then they go off to go and build their businesses or use it in their other business, right, because we can use these skills, their high communication skills, use them in lots of different areas of life, some people just use them just so that they can learn it, and start to do NLP on themselves, right and help their family. So there’s a variety of reasons why people do it, but they would, would finish it and master prac, if that’s the path that they chose to take, and then they would just, like be done. And I was like I really want to have, I want to help the people that are just coming in. Brand new, and I want to have like a development program for the people that are finished. So they finish, but they’re not really finished. You know what I mean? Because sometimes you’re not ready to just, like, figure it out, you still have questions? Like there’s marketing questions, and there’s, like, just balancing stuff God, like there’s just a lot, right? So I wanted to stay tethered to those people, but I wanted to do it in a way that really, really served them. And so I thought I’m gonna hire them, I’m gonna hire them to help with the new people, because then you’re refreshing all of your skills, you’re getting connected with the new people, you’re getting a chance to coach, they’re getting paid for their coaching. So it builds their confidence. And then, you know, I’ll have them like, together still, and then we can do trainings, I can help they can have a place to ask questions. So that whole process was like, it just seemed so divine. It was like a big giant circle. Do you know what I mean? So you start in NLP if you choose to go to Master Practitioner, and then you can choose to stay in the in the coaches development program. And so the whole thing came to me like this, like download, you know, like, this is what it’s supposed to look like, this is what would serve everybody and it felt so good. And so as I have had other issues or other things that have come up or things I need to figure out, you know, I have been thinking about that like how How did that happen? Like, what was the catalyst for that moment? And? And how is it a little bit different from like just a regular meditation. So I want to talk about that. And I have like some steps that I think might help you, especially if you have like a problem, you know what I mean? Or like a thing you’re trying to come up with a solution for? Okay? So first of all, when I flew, or when I was on the airplane, there were no other options. There was nowhere else for me to go. And if I’m doing this at home, there’s a lot of other things I know, there’s laundry there, do you know what I’m talking about, like, other stuff to think about? So I need to when I do this process, I really need to go into it with the mindset that I have, this is what I’m doing. And this is the timeframe, right? Because when I get in the float tank, it’s an hour or it’s 90 minutes, like I sign up for whichever. When I am on an airplane, I know exactly. I know the minute I’m gonna land, right. So I’m captive. And so. So when we think about this, I think that starting this process, it could be really helpful for you to choose an amount of time. So for you to say, I’m going to sit here for 15 minutes, or I’m going to sit here for 30 minutes. And I want you to keep in mind that in the beginning, like if this is all really new, or you used to do it, now you’re coming back, don’t stress yourself out by saying like, I’m gonna sit here for an hour or even 30 minutes, like it might just be everyday this week. I’m gonna sit here for 30 minutes. I’m gonna sit here for five minutes. Right? I’m just gonna sit here for five minutes. That’s it, you’re going to start to become more like calm about it. I know, for me, especially when I very first started meditating was just sitting was like, Oh, my God, like this. Like, besides being bored, I just was like, What are we doing? The very first time I ever did this was like, I don’t maybe night at 990 I went to a Zen meditation group. And like, I just was like, What are we supposed to do? I remember I even asked, What are we doing? And the guy like super hippie dippie came over it was when I was in college in Vermont, came over and was like, we’re just sitting man, you know, we’re just I was like, for what the fuck for like, what are we doing? Like I did not get it. So your body will resist if you’ve never done this before, or even if you’ve done it and it’s been a while. So just give yourself like five minutes, I’m just going to sit today’s next day, I’m going to sit for six. The next minute, I’m going to the next day, I’m going to sit for seven. So don’t stress yourself out by being like I’m gonna sit down for an hour. Okay, first of all, even though an airplane ride might be that long. Okay? Secondly, I want to tell you the difference between a hypnosis, hypnosis, and a meditation, okay? Hypnosis is a meditation with a purpose. Like with a goal. The brainwave states are super similar, if not exactly the same, depending on how deep you get or what you’re doing. The, the, the hypnosis and the guided meditation are the same. Because they’re walking you through something, you’re having an experience. There’s a like a reason for it, right? There’s like this thing they’re walking you through. Okay? So hypnosis, guided meditation, basically the same thing, right? Semantics. I think in a, largely,

then when we have meditation, which is what I’m talking about. This is just sitting, you don’t have headphones on, there’s like, there’s nothing like you’re just sitting. Now a lot of you might use the Insight app. And they do have like, where you could do a timer, and then you have like, background sound like rain, or Belle’s or a river or whatever. Like, that’s fine. I’ll explain to you what I do. But like, that’s fine. I’m talking about like, somebody guiding you. Like when I do my Dr. Joe Dispenza. guided meditations. It’s basically hypnosis. Right? It’s a guided meditation different than what I’m talking about. Okay? Both have a purpose. I love both. Okay. So. So you have a problem, or a thing that you want to figure out, or you’re uninspired and you’d like to know what you’re supposed to do, or you’re conflicted about something, or you have no drive or you have too much drive and you don’t know where to put your attention. I don’t care what the problem is. Get the problem in your mind. Okay. So when I go to flute, I usually try to, like, what is it that I want to what? Or what’s the outcome that I want to have? I really like to just give my brain something now. I’m going to contradict myself in just a second. But I really like having something I would like to solve, or we’re have a reason. Every single day, here’s where I’m going to contradict myself. Every single time that I meditate, do I have a problem I want to solve or something I want to know. Sometimes I just sit and listen. But for what I’m talking about right now, have a thing. Okay? Because this is what happened when I, I’m sure this is what happened when I was on the airplane and when I float, okay, so number one is, I’m going to have something that I really want to figure out. And maybe it’s just getting clarity, maybe it’s figuring out a problem, maybe it’s something specific. Then I want to decide how long am I going to sit? And allow? Allow this answer to come to me 20 minutes, okay. Then I’m going to sit, I’m going to sit someplace comfortable. I meditated. Today for an hour, I sat on my bed. I know a lot of people are like, don’t get on your bed, you’re supposed to sleep. It’s comfortable. But I do not lay down. You don’t lay down unless I want to take a nap. I sit up and I make sure that there is like a pillow under my legs. I make sure I’m super supported in my back. Today, when I meditated, I thought I need to grab my travel pillow because I think that would be really helpful because my head was back. But it was just back enough where it was kind of kinking you know what I mean? So get yourself comfortable. Who cares what you look like travel pillow, whatever. Okay. So you’ve got a prop A thing that you want to focus on, you know how long you’re going to sit there and now you’re comfy but you’re sitting up so you’re not too comfy that you’re going to fall asleep. Alright, then you’re going to find a sound. Now, this is where the Insight Timer thing might be helpful for me. Today, I was running my dishwasher. And I liked the sound of the dishwasher. Sometime it’s my I have one of those sound machines, you know that they have like at therapists office, I play it at night when I go to bed. Sometimes it’s that sometimes it’s just the sound of the fan going. Right. So I find like a organic sound that’s kind of organic is a dishwasher organic, you know what I mean? Like something that’s happening in my environment, organic in my environment, I guess. And I just focus on that you can focus on breathing too. For some reason I like an outside sound, I think it helps. Because I’m I want to be busy. And then that helps me put my busy attention towards something to the Intel i can settle. Okay, so now I’m listening to the sound. There’s listening, listening, listening, breathing, listening. And then I just want to notice what’s coming up. Like, I’m not actively going, how do I solve this? I’m just like, what’s coming up. And here’s what’s gonna come up. Things like old stories, right? Old things that have happened, things you thought it might be things you haven’t thought about in a long time. Those are the gifts, you’re getting gifts. Okay? And not gifts, not like gifs not like you’re getting a gift, a present, you’re getting a present. Because that story that’s coming up most likely is something that needs to be healed in order for you to get what it is you need. Okay, our unconscious minds, keep they suppress things until we’re ready to deal with it. And chances are, if you’re getting a lot of those, you haven’t given space for these things to come up. And now your unconscious mind is like, Oh, wow, cool. She’s been quiet. Maybe she has space to heal this. Let’s show her. She wants to fix this thing. Well, what about this? What about this? What about this, there will be stories that come up. They may be stories you think are unrelated. It’s okay. You could just remember them. If you need to have a little pad of paper next to you to write them down. I would say don’t write them on your phone. Don’t write them on your iPad, have like a physical pen and paper. Because then you’re not stopping turning on your tablet. Do you know what I mean? Like getting oriented all that? write those things down or remember those things or ask yourself in the moment what do I have to learn from this? See if something just comes into your awareness and you can let it go? I asked my guides all the time in stock and when I’m in meditation to just can you take that away? Can you help show me what I need to heal or take that and take that away? I’ll say it out loud, well, I’m starting to get these things. And then you’re going to start to maybe just you’ll seek sit for a little while longer, like, just sit, I know, when I float, I feel like I’m just like floating forever. And then all of a sudden, you’ll get this idea or this thought it’s like inspiration. You know, it’s like, oh, now, it is chef’s kiss when that happens. But it won’t happen every single time. And that’s okay. So don’t get down on yourself or be like this didn’t work. You just do it again, tomorrow, it has to get to the place where you’re ready. But you won’t be ready. If you’re just avoiding and you’re being busy and doing lots of other things, you’ve got to slow down, you’ve got to pause and give itself space. So figure out your problem, what it is, figure out how much time you’re going to spend today, to do it. Figure out what the sound is get yourself comfortable, and just allow the space for it. Now, when you start to do this, you’re going to start to shift, you’re going to start to feel different, your whole mood is going to become different. So here’s what I would do. And what I think is really helpful is if you are if you’re listening, and you’re like I really want to try this, like maybe this would work for me, immediately, immediately, you’re gonna push it off, because you’re gonna be like, I’m gonna do that tomorrow. Okay. So if you feel like this is could be the thing, in your in your car, when you stop, set an alarm on your phone for two minutes and just do it for two minutes, then you’ve already begun. And then tomorrow, you can do it for three minutes. And then the next day four, and five, and whatever. The other thing is set a timeframe. So I’m going to try this for a week, I’m going to try this for a week, there’s this thing that I’m doing, I’m going to do it inside my Facebook group. I don’t know, have you guys been in my Facebook group lately. So I’m going to come back to the seven days, but I have had a Facebook group for years. And then this whole year, I shut it down, I was working on other things. And I was focusing on some personal things. And I didn’t know what else to share in there to be honest. And I recently opened it back up, you can get to it by going to the Art of Living big.com. The Art of Living big.com, it’ll bring you right to the Facebook group. Or I think you can get there from my website, like if you go to my website, and then you go up to the top and it says start here. So go to Betsy pake.com. And then at the top start here. And then you’ll see Facebook group. I haven’t done a lot in there. But some things have been live a couple times. But I have this thing that I’m starting to do. And I’m going to come in and talk about it. And I’m going to go live every week and explain what I’m doing. But why am I telling you this, don’t join me over there, if you’d like to see what I’m doing, interact with me

interact with the people in there, because I think it could be a really good safe space for everybody. But I you know, I didn’t haven’t done anything in there in a year. So one of the things that I’m doing that I’m going to share about is like this little challenge for myself, and I have a variety of them, I’ll share what they are inside the group. But set a time limit, say to yourself for seven days, I’m going to challenge myself just for seven days, I don’t have to do it forever. And that way you can evaluate and be like, do I even like this, you might not. So if you don’t like it, you can just stop. But if but if it works for you, then maybe it’s something that you can start to implement into your every day, and start to make it a way that you can connect in deeper to yourself and start to get the answers that you need, you know, figure out the big? How do I do this questions, like I did with the alchemy Institute and so many other things. So yeah, when you do that, that, I think is how you start to live a big life. So anyway, join me over there in the Facebook group. Let’s try that out. Let’s see how it goes. I’m going to I’m giving it a time limit. We’ll see how how it goes. But I’ve got something to share that I’m doing this year to bring in inspiration. So yeah, thank you so much for being here with me this week. I love you so much. Thank you for being you and and wanting to grow and change. I just I think it’s incredible. I think that I think that people that try and do that, I think you’re a special bunch. So I’m grateful to be along on the journey. Thanks for carrying me with you. All right. I will talk to you guys next week. I’ll see you then. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it. so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.