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Today on the show, Betsy talks about how to get what you want (especially if you know what it is) and how one simple thing you’re doing is standing in your way.
This episode will start you thinking differently and is great for anyone who feels stuck, unsure or just blah about their life right now.
Join The collective here –>http://betsypake.com/collective
Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.
Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. Today. I really okay, what I really want to talk about is not sexy at all.
So I’m going to tell it to you in a different way. I’m going to tell it to you in a way that sounds sexier. All right. First of all, before we get started, I’m curious of how your year is going. Like how things are moving along for you. Because I know even if you don’t set resolutions, like there might be some thing that you’re doing, or that you want to create or bring into your life. Right? You know, one of the things I’ve been doing this year in the Facebook group, if you’re not in there, join us in there, it’s, it’s the art of living big.com will push you into the Facebook group. Okay, so
what I have been doing is these little challenges I wanted to be inspired this year. And I had some ideas of things that I wanted, right, but I wasn’t like, oh my god, this is the year. Do you know what I mean? Like, I wasn’t like, this is the year that I do this thing. In fact, I had written down some things that I wanted to do this year. And then as I went to do them, they felt really heavy. And I was like, I don’t think I really want to do this. I think I just think that is what I should do. Which made me completely throw everything into a waste bin and just say, forget it. I’m not going to do that if I think I have to because like everything is optional.
Everything is optional. And I know that sometimes we think well, it’s not I have to go to work, I have to go. I mean, you do and you don’t
and follow my train of thought and then we’re gonna circle back, okay, but like,
I work, the work I do I love. And there was a time where I worked because I had to work because I had a daughter and I had to support her. But it was still that was still a choice. You know what I mean? Like I could have not supported her. That was a choice. It wasn’t a choice I wanted to make. And so I worked. But the reason I say that is because when we know it’s a choice, it brings us back some power. Right. And so as I was looking at things, I was like, I’m not really inspired for any like big thing. And the things I thought I should do, were a choice. And so I decided I wasn’t going to do them.
And so I decided that every month, I was going to have a little challenge for myself, not really a challenge, like an immersion or an experience. I talked about it inside the Facebook group. So you should go in there.
Because I’m talking about it, and then I’m posting about it. And you can choose to do the challenge with me every month, there’s going to be a new one. Also, my the magical unicorn, that is April that works with me. She is making worksheets for the podcast. So she started last week. So go in there and when she posts the podcasts, she’ll also post a link to the worksheet. I have shows that I listened to that I take notes on and I have like little notebooks on my iPad for like the things that were interesting to me or, or sometimes I’ll have to like try and backup. If you’ve ever listened to a podcast and then you try to backup and you use your finger to try and like rewind it you end up going like seven minutes behind and you really only wanted to go like a minute behind. And so that whole like scrub feature with my finger. I thought well actually April thought, Let’s do worksheets because then we can just write down like the high points and people can write notes and it just was a really good idea. So you can get those inside the Facebook group too. Okay, so then what’s the unsexy thing that I want to tell you
is that one of the things that I realized was that I didn’t have a resolution necessarily, but I had a way that I wanted to live.
I didn’t know what it was specifically as much as I knew that I wanted to have a feeling of freedom, right of being able to go anywhere I wanted to go
Oh, we’re work from anywhere I wanted to work. That’s a really big thing with me. And it’s actually one of the reasons that I started my business. And that I do it in the way that I do it.
when I was thinking about, like, I don’t have resolution, but I have like, a way I want to live. I thought, How do I get to how I want to live? Like, what are the things that happen? That create the way I live now? Okay. So I mean, I’m living in a certain way. And a lot of it is the way that I’m choosing, and a lot of it is just what’s happening. And I realized that all it is, is consistency. And sometimes we think about consistency in terms of like, okay, well, I want to, I want to lose weight, I’ve got to be consistent and working out. If I want to, like write a book, I’ve got to be consistent in writing, if I want to, like, we think about it in terms of things that we have to add, right?
But what you have right now
is because you’ve been consistent, even if it’s something you don’t want.
the unsexy thought I had is that maybe you don’t need to add anything. Maybe it’s what you have to undo. Like maybe if you haven’t had a resolution this year, or you didn’t know what you wanted, maybe this year is your year of undoing instead of doing.
And maybe this is about you just looking at, like what are the practices I have in place? Like how do I do things right now and getting really, really aware?
You know, when we bring like a heightened level of awareness to ourselves,
we can never see what we’ve seen in a different way.
I also know it’s difficult to see things in ourselves, which is why you’re probably listening to this podcast, right to get a different point of view. I think that is so helpful.
And so I’m curious, if you can start to notice and start to say, what are the consistent actions that I’ve taken, that have brought me to where I am right now? And what do I need to undo? So that I can begin to create, or to know what I want to create later on? Consistency was sort of my word for this year, you know, I just I want to be consistent. I want to choose the things that I want to be consistent because I am super consistent. But sometimes it’s in things that I don’t want, right? Like you probably have that to where you’re like, oh, yeah, I always do this thing. Like before I realized it. I’ve had four cups of coffee, and I have a bellyache. But I don’t stop, right, like that is just what I do. And so I have a couple of thoughts, a couple of ways for you to begin to notice this.
some things that you can do instead. Sorry, I paused there for a second because my phone went black. And I didn’t know why I record this on a special app on my phone. Okay. All right. So here’s some ways that you can start to notice what it is that you are doing one thing really obvious and very,
very masculine, but I like it is to do a time block to actually write down say, What have I done, set a timer on your phone every 30 minutes or every hour and say, What have I just worked on? For the past hour? Like what am I actually doing? This was really eye opening to me when I when I did this in my business just just a short time ago. What am I actually doing? You know, on the other side of this is, what am I actually thinking? Right? So you could do a time study on either? What am I thinking? Or what am I doing?
The two things are related, how you feel about what you’re doing, if you’re at work, and you’re working on something, but it didn’t feel fun. There’s a thought that’s attached to that. So one way is to do a time study. Another way is to ask somebody that you really trust and say what do you see in me as like the top like three adjectives that you’d use to describe me? Or how do you what do you see me doing? What are the things that I talk about the most? You know, I’ve talked before and I call it the elephant in my heart. You know, there’s this thing that we usually have that we kind of talk about, but never handle. Right? And so
you might even know what it is.
You might even know even as I say that
there is a thing that I have to deal with that I just don’t deal with. You know, it’s
really hard to pull something else in when you haven’t gotten rid of the problem, right? Or the issue or the thing that’s, like nagging at you.
years ago, my husband had this Honda Civic, it was like a hybrid Honda Civic. And one day, it just died. And he just like, rolled on into the driveway.
And we lived in like this really nice neighborhood. And the car sat there. I’m not kidding. It was probably there for like, I don’t know, I want to say like two years. But I might be exaggerating that because I drove me bananas.
But you can’t bring another car into the driveway, if you haven’t got rid of the car that’s there.
You know, you can’t bring something else in this year, if you haven’t gotten rid of the thing that’s taking up space and not doing anything for you.
Like, what is it that you have to have to release? And maybe you just know, and maybe you need to ask somebody that’s really close to you, to give you a reflection? What do I always complain about? You know, what am I always talking about?
And just see what comes.
Now, the third thing is kind of combined with that, but it is just to meditate. You know, I talk about meditation a lot, sitting just sitting with stuff. And if that feels really weird, if that feels really hard, like that is understandable. If your nervous system has been really ramped up, it can feel really hard to just sit. And maybe there’s some other things that you need to do first.
And if you can sit just start with like five minutes. Even if you’re not like I know, sometimes we think like well meditating, I was supposed to like, okay, um, you know,
but sometimes I just sit and go, Okay, brain, show me all the things that you’re thinking about, like, let’s just think about it. And all these things come into my mind, you know, and I just let them all come in.
So witness yourself, just sit and say, what is it that I’m thinking about? What is it that’s like drawing my attention away? Even though I’m trying not to look at it? Like, what is it that’s pulling my life in a certain direction that’s creating this consistency and a place that I don’t really want it to be?
Because I think sometimes we, we, we think, I don’t know what I want to call in. I’m not inspired by anything, because there’s too much junk in the driveway.
And then we put all this pressure on ourselves, especially this time of year, oh, gosh, you know, like, resolution time, I love a new year, I do I love a new year, a new week, a new whatever.
But I’ve got to really feel inspired for it. And I think you’re that way too, right, you’re not going to just do something to do it, it’s got to mean something.
So I want you to get clear on where you’re being consistent, that’s not actually serving you.
You know, we were really consistent and not dealing with that car took until it drove me so bananas, that we dealt with it, right. And that’s what happens in life, we wait. But I say like, don’t wait,
don’t wait, set a line in the sand and say I’m going to deal with some stuff.
And you will be free. Right freedom.
You know, inside the collective. So I have this group, that every week I come in and teach. It’s kind of like a podcast live. And we interact. And it’s 30 minutes, once a week, 30 minutes, once a week, it creates consistency. Right? It creates like a
putting yourself first I make time for myself, which begins to change everything because then you’re setting up this precedent in your mind that you’re important, right? And whatever you do, maybe you do that with working out every day or whatever that is.
But the reason I created that container in that way, was because I wanted people to have something that they come to.
And then we can communicate about it. You know, sometimes, I think some of the thoughts or ideas I have and are way out there and probably not way out there for you. Cuz you’re listening. But we out there for like other people, right? And like, I had a friend say to me once, Betsy, you like you’re way, way out in the ocean. And like I’m just standing here on the shore, like I’m trying to understand, but you’re like, way out there.
So then I thought well, I’ll just bring my people that are way out there, out there with me. So we can all have something to talk about and so
So that’s what I’ve done inside the collective. But the idea really is this to create something consistent, right? Every week, it’s 30 minutes.
The workouts that I’ve been doing lately at home are 23 minutes, that’s their whole thing. It’s 23 minutes. And I’m like, I have 23 minutes to give to this. You know, sometimes when I would get into workouts that were like 45 minutes, or I would look at the app, and they’d be different every day, and it was really hard to plan that really made me zonkers. And so, like, 23 minutes, I could plan it, I could do it. And that’s why I was like, this has got to be something like that, like something that is, like simple and easy and fun. And you look forward to it. And it’s only 30 minutes. So anyway, so join us inside the collective if you’re looking for something consistent to help you expand, and to give you a new idea and to inspire you, right, because that’s really what we’re what we’re looking for when we’re talking about resolutions, or like what this year is, or we’re figuring out our word. I mean, that’s what it all is, right?
So I want you to think about where you’re being consistent. And it’s not serving you what you need to let go of, so that the idea of what it is you want can even come in.
Because that when I think when you do that work, that is when you live a big life. Thank you so much for being here. I love you guys so much. I will see you all next week. And maybe in the collective join me in there. It’s always open, come, come visit with us. All right, I’ll see you all later. Bye, bye.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.