354: What IS "Living Big"? - Betsy Pake

354: What IS “Living Big”?


In todays episode, Betsy talks about “Living Big” and how to get to your deepest goals and desires even sooner.

She also shares a technique to start to break through the “crunchy” subconscious programming that is keeping you stuck and feeling like your life isn’t what you want it to be.


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. I’m so excited to do this show today. I feel like it’s like, I feel finally settled after like, the last eight weeks of just like chaos. And I’m not going to keep talking about the chaos because I know you’ve heard about it, if you’ve been here listening. And something has happened in the quiet. Something’s happened in that, like silence that came. And it’s interesting, because when all of that was going on, and if you’re new here, I had a flood my apartment, I moved every thing that could go wrong when I moved went wrong. And then once I moved in, it continued to go wrong. And then I got COVID. At that time, April, you know, that works with me. She said, when all of this settles down, you’re going to feel like you have so much space. And I thought you know what, you’re right, like, so much space. And she was right, as soon as things settle down, and there was this, like expansion that is happening. And I want to talk about that a little bit. And I also want to talk about how to create expansion in a place where things are busy, where you do have a lot going on. You know, I was on Instagram, and I started following this big, this big, like influencer, I’ll say like, she had a lot of people I don’t know, if you call her an influencer, she, she does good work in the world. And there’s a lot of people that follow her. And it was like, maybe four days after I followed her that she had this post about living big. And I felt personally attacked. I know what it had nothing to do with me. But I can’t help but wonder did she like go to my account, see the living big thing. And then she did this whole post about how you don’t have to live big to be happy and to be. And I sent it to a friend of mine. And I was like, Oh my God, I feel personally attacked. So I want to start, I want to kick this episode off with really talking. Because it it this blends in to what I’m saying. But I want to really talk about what it really means to live big. And what I’m really saying when I talk about that, you know, my podcast is called The Art of Living big. years ago, seven years ago, before I started the podcast, I wrote a book called Start small, live big. And the whole premise of that book is that every big thing that you see out there, started, where they were, it started small. It started with little steps or even an idea and no steps. And so my version of living big and I say this in my bio, like I hope you live because you can create a life that inspires you not the other way around. You don’t have to have a life that inspires you to live big. Living big is the flower that against all odds, expands up out of the crack in the concrete. Living big is getting as big as you can right where you are, it does not require you to have a different environment or a different set of circumstances or different things happening around you all that it requires is that you find the ways to expand right where you are in the most in the ways that you can. In the space that you’re in. I’m going to give an example. And you may have heard me say this before. But when my daughter was really sick, and she was a teenager, and I really wanted to be speaking and wanted to go out and get speaking gigs and be hired to speak and I could not do that. Because I never knew what was going to happen. I never knew like what was going to transpire with her or if she was going to need me and that was my most important thing. That was my priority. And so one day I was driving down the road and I saw Panera Bread It was there. And I remember they have this like space in there where you can like shut these doors like French doors, sort of, and there’s like a separate meeting space. And so I called the Panera Bread in that moment, did not wait, didn’t think about it didn’t go, oh, that’s a good idea. I immediately called and just asked to speak to a manager and I said, I want to run a monthly event and have an speak in in that space, can I use that space? And they were like, hey, use it for free, because they want people to come and buy coffee or whatever, right? So I got home and I created a meetup. If you guys know what Meetup is, it’s a website meetup.com, I think it is. And you can post events and people can come and you can charge for them. Or you can just have them and I just had it so people could come. And so I created the event, this monthly, where they were going to be able to hear a speaker, motivational speaker every month, I called it coffee and coaching, get your coffee and get some coaching and some inspiration. But then every month it was me. I don’t know that they knew every month, it would just be me. But every month it was me. And I got to speak. Now I didn’t get paid for it. But it didn’t matter. I have been paid for it in ways those people have come back around, joined my other programs. And as the years have gone by a lot of them are still in my sphere. But I did the most I could do I want to speak I could have said I can’t do it the way I want. So I’m just not going to do it. But if that had happened, I never would have gotten that experience, I never would have gotten better, I got better at speaking, I never would have started the podcast, because the podcast was really kind of a leap from that where I was like, You know what, I’m gonna do this on a podcast so I can reach more people. And then, if I hadn’t done all that, and I hadn’t been speaking every week, I wouldn’t have gotten better at creating stories and ideas to share, like creating, How will I explain things getting better at that craft, and then began getting hired to speak. So living big, right, where you are in the moment in the thing that you’re doing is so important. And I think sometimes we see people doing these big things I know I do. Where I’m like, Oh my God, if only that, like, Oh, I wish I could do that. And I think that’s where it’s at. But really, I have to go, I want I would like to experience that thing. That would feel really fun to me. And I want to experience that. So right now, how can I be as what am I? Where can I expand into? You know, and maybe it’s like a vacation, right? I see these people taking these awesome trips, and I want to take a trip. And right now I can’t. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean it’s not for you. It just means it’s not for you in this instance. And so what can you do to get in that feeling? Now, maybe it’s like day trips in your environment, like in your city or your town, or maybe it’s mapping it all out, like maybe you’d have fun, like really creating what the dream trip would be like, whatever that is for you. So living big

in the moment that you’re in is the what helps create a life that inspires you, you don’t have to go somewhere else, you don’t have to be someone else or become something else. None of that. You just have to grow right into where you are. And I think it can be really helpful to say out loud, because I think our voices and that vibration, physical vibration of our voices can be so powerful. To say out loud, I want this to happen. I want to experience this in my lifetime. And then what can that where does that feel? I call it crunchy. Where does that feel crunchy? Like where I’m like, oh, but immediately I felt like nope, not for you. Okay, then explore the heck out of that. explore that. Because then you can start to figure out where you’re holding yourself back. Now. We’ve got a conscious mind and our conscious mind is the goal setter, I want to experience that thing I want to do that thing. Our unconscious mind is the goal getter. It’s the thing that says you’re gonna have it or you’re not going to have it. It’s the thing that’s going that creates the patterns that creates the thoughts, the emotions, and the actions because I can’t consciously focus on the thing that I want all the time. And so my unconscious mind is going to take over from time to time and when it does if it is not going in the same direction as your conscious mind. It’s gonna, it’s gonna cause a snag. But you can find it. That’s the biggest thing. Once somebody has awareness, I’m like, oh, it’s done. Like, if you have an awareness of it, the problem is, is that so many times we have no awareness, and people don’t know how to get the awareness of it. So how can if you want to learn about the unconscious mind, I have like a $33 class on my website, it’s called subconscious genius, just go to my website, Betsy pake.com. That’ll give you like the rundown of how it all works, and how the chunks are formed, and what the brainwave states are, and all that stuff. So. So if you have a conscious goal, but your unconscious goal doesn’t line up with it, you’re gonna feel that you’re gonna feel that crunchiness. And so if you can get really clear on what the goal is, and you can say it out loud, and then you can go, that feels completely good. Like, let me give you an example. If I say, as soon as this is done, I’m going to get a cup of coffee. There, there’s no crunchy in that for me, because I know that’s available. Like I know how to get to the coffee machine, I know that I have loads of coffee, because it is my fear to run out of coffee. I have so much coffee, like I’m not worried about that at all. I’m not worried that I’m not gonna be able to stand up and walk away from a desk, I’m not worried about having water. I’m not worried about any of that. I mean, how lucky not just the coffee, but the water and the walking like, I mean, we are abundant of notice how many amazing things you have in your life. Now, if I say, I am going to I’m throwing this out here, don’t email me about how I shouldn’t have this. If I were going to say I am going to have a million dollar beach house by next month. There is so much crunchy in that like immediately I’m like no you’re not there’s not enough time. Where are you going to get it? What beach you don’t even know what beach where you’re gonna live? You’re gonna go to Florida, what are you going to do? Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy. Now, if that was something that I really wanted, I would write down all the crunchy. And that would give me a place to start. I would also start noticing throughout the day, where’s the crunchy? Like, where’s that coming up? Where are other, this is a big one. Listen, listen to what I’m going to say. When you have thoughts that are seemingly out of the blue. It might be something that happened 10 years ago, 20 years ago, it might be an instance or an event that happened when you were a kid, any of that I want you to just notice is the cycle that happened with that the same as the cycle that’s going on with your crunchiness because your unconscious mind one of the prime directives of it. And we I teach this in NLP, but the prime directives of our unconscious mind is to suppress things to suppress emotions and stories and memories and tell it thinks we’re ready to heal them. And if you have shifted so that you’re having a conscious awareness of the crunchy it’s going to start showing you and these clues can be so helpful. It can be so helpful to start to shift our experience, we can say what else do I need to learn from that? What do I need to learn from that? How can I see that differently? You know, if I were to talk to my 20 year old self, and my 30 year old self, and my 40 year old self, and my now self, if we all got together and talked about something that happened when I was 20, we would all tell a different story. Because our lives, the things we’ve experienced, the way that our beliefs or goals may shift. All of that impacts how you see something, reality is neutral. It’s how you are seeing it. And so if all of me were to come together, I would have different viewpoints on it. Which means, as my unconscious mind delivers that story, to me, it’s giving me an opportunity to say, what’s a different lesson in this event. You took a lesson from it that served you at the moment, but now it’s no longer serving you. What else could you learn from this? Now, I have three things that you want this lesson to do. Okay? One thing is you want it to be positive. So you don’t want it to be like well, people are dumb. You want it something positive. Okay. The second thing is you want it something you can take forward with you. So something that is not generic but not specific to that event because you want it to be able to be something you can take forward a lesson. And the third most important thing is that you want it to be just About you. Now, when you go back and you see this event, you might have a thought like, well, you can’t trust people. That’s okay, that’s a good place to start. But then make sure it is those three things. So how can I make that just about you? If you can’t trust people? What can you do? Well, I can trust myself. Awesome, I can trust myself is just about you. It’s positive, and it’s something you can take forward with you. So start with where you are, and then make sure it hits those three things. Okay. So that’s what we’re going to do with the crunchy, I want you to be thinking about your goals, what those big goals are. We want to get your unconscious mind aligned with them. And that’s going to be the first step, right? It’s like finding them and figuring it out. Finding the crunchy. Okay. So, back to what I said I was going to talk about, which was really this idea that like, once all of the chaos settled down, I was able to have so much space. And what all of that chaos did was it made me realize what’s important. Because when we have a lot going on, we have to, we have to, I want to say delegate, but we have to like, like parcel things out. This isn’t that important. This is this has got to take my my attention. This doesn’t. When that happens. It’s almost like a big sifter. So hard times can serve you to become an incredible sifter for what’s important. So if I am shifting things, and I’m starting to notice what’s important, I’m also noticing during this whole time, how many things I did that really didn’t matter. Like a number of things I was spending my time and, and feeling overwhelmed. And like I had to get this done, but I didn’t. But I really didn’t. And so I have really gotten honed in on what is actually moving the needle towards those big things that I want to experience. And then how can I become? How can I live big? How can I become so big in the space that I am? That there’s no other choice but for the universe to expand to give me more room.

So sometimes, when things are really chaotic, I kept I, I really do feel, I don’t know, if I was just paralyzed with fear. I was really calm. But I felt really calm through all that stuff happening. And then when COVID happened, I was like when my COVID happened a month ago, it just gave me this like peace of like, Oh, now I get to rest in all of this. And everything sorted itself out. And then I could take the things that were important, and the things that matched up with what it was that I wanted. And then focus on those things. So I want you to say out loud, get really specific, I want to experience this. Right, say it out loud, get really focused in and then see how you can start to create an experience in your life right now. That mimics it that gives you the same feeling that is creating something so big that you are living big in the moment so that you can create and live a life that inspires you. And when you do that, that is how I think you live a big life. All right, y’all. Thank you so much for being here with me. Thank you for sharing the show, and for being on this journey with me. I appreciate and I love you so much. All right. I will talk to y’all soon. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.