357: Shifting your experience with Terri Allred - Betsy Pake

357: Shifting your experience with Terri Allred


In todays episode Betsy has a discussion with her friend Terri Allred.
Terri Allred is a dynamic and experienced coach, leadership development expert, and catalyst for team transformation. With a passion for helping nonprofit and business leaders unlock the full potential of their teams, Terri brings a unique blend of skills and expertise to drive impactful change. Terri is the owner of Allred Coaching & Consulting and the founder of the Holistic Leadership Academy.


Hi, everyone, welcome to the show today, I have an amazing interview today with somebody that I love so much that has gone through the alchemy Institute. And we did this incredible, had this incredible discussion that was really so much fun. And then we got off and I tried to convert the zoom and it wasn’t working. And I am just here to say, I am so pleased that I breezed through it and figured it out. Because now I can bring you this really fun interview with my friend Terri alread. As we get started, she and I are going to be talking about what she does. And sort of her view on the world. This is just so interesting, many of the things that she has to share. And I want to remind you that there’s we keep talking about the alchemy Institute. And I want you to be interested in that and come and join us. And I also want to remind you that if you are the level where you want coaching, you want NLP coaching, you want to be able to experience and learn more about your unconscious mind, join us inside the collective. So there’s two options there. NLP, the alchemy Institute, that’s going to be much more intense, you’re going to be learning the science and the skills and the processes to create change. And inside the collective, you’re going to be coached every week to move through some shifts in your life to get a new perspective and lots of new ideas. So as we kind of move through this, if you like the idea of NLP, there are several ways for you to be able to have an experience of it. So I wanted to just remind you of that, as we kind of move into this interview. So without further ado, let’s go to the show. Hello, everyone. Hi, welcome to the show today. I’m excited because today I have a really special guest, as I like to do. So today I have my friend Terry. Now, Terry is an experienced coach. She’s super dynamic. I love her, you guys are gonna love her. She’s also a leadership development expert. And she’s a catalyst for Team transformation. She has a real passion for helping nonprofits and business leaders unlock their full potentials of their teams. And she brings this unique blend of skills and expertise to drive impactful change. So I’m going to talk today with Terry, I want to talk to you, I want to talk to her and talk to you guys about what she’s really doing in the world how she is using some of the skills that she has learned on her own to help impact change, and how she is creating her own ripple in the world and starting to, I always say like we can change the whole world when we just start with our little circle, right. So she started with her little circle, which is now a big circle. So welcome. Welcome, Terry, thank you for coming to the show.

Thank you. I’m really pleased to be here. Tell everybody

before we start, where can they find you? That way? I don’t forget that at the end.

So you can find me at all red consulting.com This H O R Ed consulting.com. And that’s kind of the hub of all of the services and programs that offer.

Good, good. Alright, Terry alread. Alright, so tell us a little bit about you. And kind of how you moved into this work and what you do and what you’re excited about right now.

Yeah. Well, I love introductions, and I like to talk about what I like to do, along with what I do. So with your permission, I’d like to start with what I like to do. Yeah, it’s

tell me what you’re excited about.

Yeah, I think it’s so important for people to bring their whole selves to the work that they’re doing. And so, I am a potter. I like to throw pottery on the wheel. I do some hand building too. But it’s just this amazing way to have your hands in the earth and clay and make something out of it. And so, pottery is one of my passions right now.

How long have you been doing that? I started

right before the pandemic. Okay. I do some pottery at a studio and then I have a setup at my home.

Oh, you do? That seems fancy. Do you know who else does pottery in the institute is Wendy. I know if you’re listening. You guys might not know but she’s one of our coaches. And she does pottery too. In fact, years ago, she made me a piece and it’s like on display under lights in my new house. I love it. Wonderful. How did you get into that?

Well, I had always wanted to do pottery. And when I was pregnant with my first child 25 years ago, 26 years ago, but I didn’t know I was pregnant. I took a pottery class. I was running a rape crisis center in North Carolina super stressful and I said I’m gonna do something for myself. So there was an art center within wall mean distance. And so I decided I was gonna take a pottery class. And the funny story is that the clay, the smell, the clay started making me sick and I had to go vomit. And so I thought, this is kind of weird. And turns out I was pregnant. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Ever since then, for all those years, I wanted to go back and, and make pottery and so I finally did when both kids were out of the house, I signed up for classes and found out that I really loved it

that I have wanted to do pottery not enough to go do it. But ever since I saw the movie Ghost, remember that? So when I said, when did you decide that you wanted to learn pottery? I just wanted you to be like, well, I saw the movie Ghost.

And I have to say that brought my partner of 30 years to take an introductory class with me. And quite to the contrary, we didn’t really do ghost within 15 minutes, he was flat on the floor having thrown his back. Oh, no. It’s okay. But there went my fantasies down the drain, right? Yes, totally

did not go the way you thought. Good. So what else? What else are you excited about?

So I have been working really hard over the last six months or so really, as a result of my participation in the alchemy Institute, which I hope we’ll get to talk about some and what happened learning there. But I really decided to refocus my business. I’m a consultant, and I do nonprofit and small business consulting. And I kind of have just been, you know, taking jobs because they came to me without really setting any intention about the clients I wanted to work with or the work that I wanted to do. And it’s been really rewarding and meaningful. But I just decided, if not now, when. And so I really spent some time thinking through my ideal clients and what I wanted to do to make a difference in the world. So I’ve watched a couple of programs. And I really got energized by the work that I did in the alchemy Institute to be able to bring a bunch of different skills that I have from my previous work life and training life into working with the unconscious and helping people create real change in their lives. So while that’s not as maybe exciting as pottery or have an affinity for the beach, just like you and seashell collecting is one of my favorite things to do. But it’s really hard to do in Minnesota where I live. Yeah. So

more reason for us to have a beach house, we need our institute, beach house where we can all use it for retreats and to go, well, actually, that’s a really good idea.

Really good idea. So, so I have been spending a lot of my energy lately just growing and creating and visioning. The combination of a lot of years of doing consulting and training. And to me super excited about what’s emerging.

Yeah, you know, it’s funny, because sometimes we do, like we have this thing that we do, right, we have our work, and we have the way that we do it. And we keep going sort of like unconsciously, right? Because we know how to do it, it works. We just keep doing it. And we don’t stop to like evaluate, is this bringing me energy? You know, is this making me inspired? Am I excited to get out of bed every day and do this? And I think when we empower ourselves to look at those areas of our lives and say, Is this the way I want it to go? And so I you know, I just want to point that out. Because for you to do that is a an extra, I think level of awareness around your own life, and also a sense of direction, I get to choose how I live this life and have this experience. And in my work, our work is such a big part of what we do. I mean, most of our lives, were most of our waking lives is doing our work. And if we’re not waking up inspired and excited to go, it can be hard to make changes. How did you know that you were ready to make changes and start doing different things in your business?

Yes, that’s a really great question. So I am very intuitive and really rely on that inner knowing. And so I think there was just a real convergence of doing a project that was really stressful and not real They bring me joy. Going through the alchemy Institute and thinking more about how do I take charge of my own life and experience so that I have a life of joy. And then just really having the conditions under which I had some support people who were really encouraging of me branching into other areas. So I’ve always worked with nonprofits, and was actually an executive director of many nonprofits. And so most of my consulting in the last 10 years or so, has been around nonprofit management, board and Executive Director relationships, policies and procedures. And I had this aha moment. And, and it was really an amazing aha moment. And I realized, just because I’m good at doing something doesn’t mean I have to do it. Yeah, enjoy doing it. I don’t have to do it.

Isn’t that like, that’s like such a big deal? Because at times, we think, and I think to say, like, all of those skills, cuz I know how to do all that stuff. There are other skills like adjacent that allowed me to do that. And can I like, focus on the adjacent skills, and build that to help other people?

Exactly. And so for instance, I realized that I do tend to get called into nonprofits when there are problems. And so then I started distilling that and I realized the magic. What is magic in me is I don’t avoid conflict, I actually like conflict. I think conflict is a really important catalyst for change. And so I realized that that’s what I am doing is I’m coming into organizations where there’s tension and conflict, and I’m helping people to rethink what it means and look at as an opportunity for transformation. And that doesn’t have to be in any one setting or another. And so I just one of the things that we learn in, in our neuro linguistic training program is chunking, up and chunking down. And so one of the things that I did as I was like, Okay, I do this nonprofit consulting, but what is it really, that I like about him? Really, that I want to work with? Well, what changes do I really want to help bring? And so it took it out of out of what do I do? And it brought it to how do I do it? Which is a common question that we ask and in. And I realized that what I really wanted to do was work with leaders to help them find a more balanced and intuitive and holistic approach. And even beyond that I really wanted to work with women.

Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that like learning these NLP skills helped you to see where you could actually use the skills you already had in a better way?

Yeah. Yes. So because I think

and just to pause for one second, when you’re talking about like, chunking, up or chunking, down, which is what we use in NLP language, it’s really about specificity. And it sounds like you were able to get to a place of specificity in a different way. Because we could say, like, what’s your niche? What do you get, but until you kind of go through that process of like, what that really means to chunk down and find that specificity. Like that changes the way you see things.

It does. And it was really a mind shift. It was a mind shift wasn’t a heart shift, because I had always been passionate about doing that. But part of it was a mind shift around Wait a minute, I can choose my ideal client, I can create programs and create services for the specific people I want to work with. I don’t have to just work with whoever comes along my way. You know if any of my previous clients are listening, not that I haven’t enjoyed. No, yes.

I totally know what you mean, though. Yeah. But then there’s a point where you’re like, Okay, now I’m ready for this next phase in my journey.

Yeah. And I think that there were so many principles that I was able to integrate into my regular coaching and consulting or my previous coaching and consulting, because I was really working at a conscious level, having been trained as a therapist that did a lot of cognitive behavioral stuff. And then I am intuitive. I’m a Reiki Master. So as kind of helping people tap into their intuition and doing somatic work as a former professional dancer, and, you know, really movement and energy is super important to me. And one of the ways that I manage my own anxiety is through movement, but didn’t have of the unconscious. And it was like this twofold process of realizing that the unconscious was holding that my unconscious beliefs were holding me back. And they were holding the people with whom I worked back. And so it’s dual transformation it was, if I shift, then I can help other people shift. And so really quite, quite explosive in terms of the way it changed my view of myself in the world.

Yeah, I think that’s one of the things that I noticed with you going through the institute. It’s like in the beginning, like you were going through, and you were happy, and you were learning new things. And then one day, you were like, wait a second, this is making me rethink everything. And I think that I know, for me, when I went through my NLP experience, the very first time, like, I was surprised, I was learning it to coach but I was like, Wait a second, I’m becoming someone different in this experience.

Right. And I was just sharing with your listeners. Before we got on, I was telling Betsy that this has been maybe one of the most stressful six or eight months I’ve ever had in my life. And so one of the things that have has not only gotten me through it, but helped me to really stay grounded and do this amazing growth during this time of stress and transition, was by utilizing the skills that I learned in the alchemy Institute. I use the EFT otherwise, you know, people notice tapping to help regulate my emotions during this overwhelm chaotic time, I use the time technique, which is a way to really go back to your kind of the earliest emotion or thought that has subsequently created a pattern and is causing triggered reactions and release that I mean, there’s just so much that I have

I feel like a proud mama bird right now. Just to talk about it. Oh, God, it is

it is and, and I really am not overstating it when I say that this experience has changed my life, because it has, and I think it’s helped me become more equipped to help people overcome that final roadblock, I didn’t ever understand what it was when I was a therapist, I didn’t really understand what it was as a consultant. And now I understand it’s the unconscious and the role that the unconscious plays in helping us shift our mindset and shift our state or our emotional experience and shift our beliefs and, and rewrite those old stories that we hold ourselves for so many years, that are not bringing us joy, and they’re not helping us create the life we live.

And one of the biggest shifts I see people make and I know for myself is that we have the stories, right, which is really just like the, the, our version of reality. And we think that’s real. I think learning NLP, and learning how our unconscious mind creates reality, and how the patterns and all of these things are formed. It had gave me such a huge perspective on like, every time I have an experience that is unwanted. I almost feel like I’m an observer. And there’s this moment of, I’m watching myself having this experience, I can see the story. And then I can ask myself, is that true? Right? Is that even true? And that I think has been so helpful, not only in my own life, but also and with clients, but also just understanding like people in my life, you know, family and friends and just people that I’m around, where I’m like, Oh, I immediately have compassion when something would have driven me up the wall. From past experience, I know. But now I see it like oh, wow, they are really having trouble understanding themselves or calming their nervous system or seeing how they actually could be empowered in this situation. And so I think it helps us it helps our clients. And it helps just us understand this the regular people around us in our day to day life,

right? I think so too. And I really strive to be a person who has an open and loving heart. And in fact my my partner and I tease that we try not to do things unless we have an open and loving heart. And so then you can imagine how that deep compensates into dishes and Laundry. Laundry today because I can’t do it with an open and loving heart.

I think I might have to take this Yeah.

Thank you way. So it really does help me to understand that I’m not behaving out of guilt, or I’m not behaving out of obligation from old stories or old patterns that I really can live with an open and loving heart, which is what mission is to be able to do.

Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Do you have a favorite NLP technique that’s like your go to? Or the, like, I have one that causes the biggest shifts. And I’m surprised how many times I use it. And it’s parts integration, right? I am surprised how many parts I have. And for people listening, it’s like, part of me wants this. And part of me wants that, or part of me thinks this part of me thinks that. I’m shocked how many parts out there I must. I’m a woman of many parts. But I feel like I integrate something almost every day. I’m like, This is so powerful. Do you have one like that? That’s like your favorite process?

I do. But first, I have to say that your first your autobiography needs to be a woman of many parts.

Yes, that is an excellent book title. I love it.

I’m really leaning towards EFT right now. Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping as people understand that. But I think the reason is because I’m going through so much chaos and stress in my life, that that really helps me to center and calm. And every time I do it, it takes me faster into a state of calm and releases whatever I’m trying to release. Oftentimes, it’s anxiety. So that’s the one I’ve been going to the most. But really, when I’m working with people, I’m integrating so much even I can remember telling you the first module of the of the alchemy Institute, a success coaching. And while I had done two other coaching certifications, some of the things that I’ve learned in the success coaching, I was implementing as we went like, yeah, yeah, my second or third lesson, I was like, oh, yeah, I’m using this with this first tomorrow. I’ve really been, I think, because I had an established coaching and consulting business. I had narrowed my, my ideal client yet, but I had one. And so I’ve really been able to integrate what I’m learning as I go,

which I think that’s the cool thing is like, you know, sometimes we take, I’m in a certification right now myself. And as I’m like, Okay, well, I gotta wait till I’m done. But with this, you learn stuff as you go, and you can start using it. You can get the actual certification for success coaching long before you finish the NLP portion. And then you have your a certified coach, and you can be helping people. It’s just, I think it’s, well, I will say it’s designed brilliantly.

You know, and the second module or curriculum is hypnosis. And I personally had used hypnosis for several different things. One was for childbirth with that first child who Oh, did you create it in the pottery class? Yeah, yeah. And I used hypnosis for pain management and made it 28 hours of back labor, before I had any painkillers, because of hypnosis, and being able to implement the principles. So it was such a amazing thing for me to learn how to help other people, because I had been helped so much by an Hypnotherapist. And yeah, that and I’ve used that. I mean, I use it all the time.

Yeah, I make a lot of my own hypnosis recordings for myself. And I have been, I think I talked about it on the show a week or two ago. But I’ve been doing hypnosis on myself every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, to get me to move through some things that were stopping me from like showing up online. I mean, as silly as it is, I wanted to do reels. And so I was like, I need to hypnotize myself to do it. Because I’m not doing it. Even though I say I want to do it consciously. I want to do it. unconsciously. There’s a million different reasons why I can’t right so I’ve been hypnotizing myself in showing up crazily. But I think that it’s the hypnosis. You know, when we learn a lot of tools, sometimes we forget how impactful we kind of move through and revisiting hypnosis for me. This in this season of my life has been like a huge aha at how quickly it can shift you.

Right? Yeah, yeah. I was having lunch with some friends and One of my friends is going to grease and was worried about being nauseated on the boat. And I’m like, Well, I’m getting ready to do some certifications, and I can help you. So you just come on over to my office this week, and I’m gonna, you know, record you I’m gonna do my certification. Yeah, you know, exam and we’re gonna fix that, that love it. nasiha on Thursday, and and so you’ll see her when you look at my exam recordings.

I know, I can’t wait to see. And how cool will it be after she’s done to get her testimonial? Because that’s a big deal, right? Yeah,

yeah, yeah. A lifetime trip. And she’s got a lot of anxiety about nausea. Yeah, it’s all based on past experience,

right? Isn’t it funny how we pull our past experience to create our future? But then talk about how we want something totally new.

Yes. Yes.

So I’m curious if you can share, like a specific challenge or a problem that maybe you had before the NLP training, and then how the skills you learned in the program helped you address it maybe personally, but maybe something professionally to

say. So. One of the things that has always been a trigger, for me working with clients and coaching is the whole I call it external locus of control in NLP, we call it either being at cause or at effect. The idea that I have no say over what’s happening in my life, and everything’s happening to me, sometimes people use victim stance sing, but I don’t like that, because I think it’s super judgment. Yeah, yeah. You know, the idea is that I can’t be in charge of my own life, because there are factors that are preventing me from doing so. Yeah, that has been a real difficult thing for me to help clients through. Because I feel so strongly that it just there’s nothing to do. I mean, if you don’t feel like you can affect anything in your life, then I don’t know how you. Yeah. And so it has been kind of this big roadblock that I have not really been able to help people overcome. It feels like one of those things that I’d say every probably, you know, seven or eight clients that I see, that’s a big part of what’s happening in their life is they’ve decided that they’re not in charge of their life. And it has something that I have never really felt that I was successful in helping people move through. And, and I know now why, because I was trying to put a bandaid on something that required a stitch, you know, wow, yeah. And so being able to tap into the unconscious and tap into, okay, where’s the story coming from? What do you need to release to create a new story? No, that has been just a huge challenge in my life. And I think it’s because I was raised around people who weren’t at cause or who work in this, everything happens to me, and I can’t control it. And so that is something that is just really hard for me to hear. And I would often feel kind of like a failure. As a coach, when I would run into people who I just could not I use all the tools that I had, we talked about the conscious and the intuitive and the somatic, and I could not make progress or help the person progress. And so having access to both the understanding of the role of the unconscious in creating our reality, and techniques to release the emotions and the beliefs that undergird so so strongly, that temptation to be an NLP language, at effect, so like you’re not in charge, instead of being at cause you are in charge. And so that has really been I think, if I if I had to just name one, the most specific thing that I have learned that has impacted my practice and both coaching and consulting. That’s it.

That’s it. That’s fascinating. You know, I always notice a huge shift with people when I give them the belief that just because you think that’s true. If it doesn’t serve you, you can just choose to believe something else. Right? Like we think like our beliefs, and I get it like they feel very concrete, like our beliefs feel like that’s true. But I’m like, Well, if it doesn’t serve you Just don’t believe it anymore. Like it doesn’t like you could just, you could just choose to believe something else. And that’s always like a fascinating thing to watch people, like their brains work when they’re like, Okay, wait a minute, just because that seems real, I could choose something different, I can choose to be empowered, I can choose how I want this to go. It’s always, it’s always fascinating to kind of watch. I noticed people’s faces change so much when we do the NLP, it’s that’s like one of the fun things to kind of watch them shift. So, before we go, you’ve got a cool new thing that you made. Can you tell everybody about what you made? Because I’m a fan of this? Because I have these that I made too. So I want to know, tell us about your cards?

Yes. So I have, I am a user of oracle cards and motivational decks feel that it’s a really great way to tap into your intuition. I have purchased betzest cards on neuro linguistic programming, and I use those quite regularly even with clients. And I created a program it’s called transform your life. And it basically uses eight elements to help you think through what you want to be who you want to be. And it has prompts that include cognitive, conscious prompts, unconscious prompts, somatic experiences, and intuitive exercises. So I created this program. And I thought, if I had cards that people could draw, then they could access the information in a way that relies on their intuition to interpret it. And so I had a 20 plus hour drive back from North Carolina to Minnesota. And my husband was driving I was created, I think, almost at 78 cards, and each one there under the different themes, the eight themes of the Transform Your Life program, and each card has a motivational message. It has an activity, and it has a journal prompt. So that that way, each card is like three cards. Yeah. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always wanted to design my own deck. And this is just a combination of what we were talking about all those different aspects coming together. Yeah, yeah. To help people change. And they’re

really pretty, you’re very pretty. I mean, to order some, they look so cool. And I love the way you described how to use them. Like how cool that each card is sort of like three cards. And you get to have these three different experiences with every poll. I love that. Yeah,

thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it’s, it’s super exciting. And now that I’ve done it once, and work through all the kinks, because I did all the design and, and everything.

Oh, my goodness, yeah. Now

I know how to do it. And so now I’m like, Okay, I’m going to create a card deck about dealing with conflict. And I’m going to create a card deck about, you know, using your intuition, and I have all these things. So I have to realize that creating card decks is probably not a full living, and I made

fun up your side. Hustle. Yeah, and I love card decks. I love being able to share them with people and have people message me about how much they like them. So it is like a fun thing to be able to bring to the world. So I love that. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, creating a greater legacy. Really, you know? Yeah. So well, Terry, it was so much fun to have you on the show and to just chat with you. And I’m so glad you had such a great experience. I’m so proud of you for moving through so much hard stuff in your life and still getting through all the material and using it and thriving like it’s it’s really a testament to your spirit and your hard work.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, it has been a really amazing experience. And I just look forward to many more years of learning about myself and about others and utilizing the skills that I’ve learned and in my daily life.

Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here. I love you so much. We’ll see everybody. We’ll see everybody, we’ll talk to you soon. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Ben. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.