096: Using Ho'oponopono to Forgive & Release Negative Thoughts - Betsy Pake

096: Using Ho’oponopono to Forgive & Release Negative Thoughts


This week on the show we talk about the ancient Hawaiian art of Ho’oponopono. Ho’oponopono is a mental cleansing and forgiveness practice that I have had some experience with over this past year.

Ho’oponopono is practice as follows:

I’m sorry

Please Forgive me

Thank you

I love you

It can be a powerful practice and in today’s show, I explain where Ho’oponopono originated, how it’s been used to drastically change circumstances that seemed out of control and how you can use it in your life to heal, relax and gain clarity.  I hope that it serves you.

This episode is great for anyone interested in hearing about a healing practice, anyone interested in learning about other cultures or anyone who has past experiences with others weighing heavily on their heart.

Thanks for listening, being open to something new and sharing with your friends!




Welcome to the art of living day. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. And this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everyone, welcome to the show. All right, so today we’re going to get into the art of whole Pono Pono. If you’ve never heard of this, I’m going to give you the rundown of really what it is as I have been learning it. So oponopono is actually an ancient Hawaiian art of forgiveness. And it’s interesting because as we get into it, you’ll see that it’s not forgiveness, as you may traditionally be thinking about it. So oponopono is actually defined as a mental cleansing. So the word Whoa, like, Ah, oh, apostrophe O is similar to the English word to. And then Pono is actually defined to be like excellence, or well being or prosperity, clarity, all those things. So the word whole Pono Pono really means like to put right or to put in all goodness, right to put in perfection. So it’s really a Hawaiian Art of Problem Solving. In many ways, the original Hawaiian so the very first people that ever lived in Hawaii used to practice this all the time. They used it to solve problems or to help issues that were happening in their community or within their families. And there was a woman who was one of the very last Kahunas and her name was more Nat Simona

nella marku I hope I said that, right?

Well, anyway, she was one of the very last gunas. And she was the one that actually brought these teachings to modern times. So she really wanted to be able to have other people other than the people that were in the hoonah population to be able to use these teachings to better their life. All right, so we kind of got a little backstory now. So this is where it’s come from. Now, you might be wondering, who know, what’s that or Kahuna? And I always think like the big kahuna, right, which was like surfers or something. Anyway, the hoonah principles are really pretty interesting. And I’m going to share those with you too, because those might give you some insight, before we get into actually how to use this, okay, so we know what whole Pono Pono is, it is this clarifying teaching, and we know where it came from. Now, the hoonah principles are actually really interesting. And in fact, when I was learning about the hoonah principles, I found that they were so intertwined with the law of attraction, which I always am, I’m finding fascinating now, because the more and more I learn about all these different things, all different religions, and all of these different systems and ancient cultures, they all are based on this same teaching, which are these laws. So there are seven principles of hoonah.

And the first one is, the world is what you think it is. So if you want to become good at something and become successful, you have to put in the work and the practice until it becomes part of who you are. So as you’re viewing the world, the world is exactly as you think it is. Now, this is key, because I’m gonna turn this on its head in a minute, okay. So the idea of like, you become what you think, right? So whatever it is, you think you are, that’s what you’re going to see. And that’s what you’re going to become because that’s what you see. One of the second principles is kala, which is there are no limits. So there are no limits, strive for excellence, become the best at whatever it is you want to do reach the summit, go to the top of the mountain, your life has these endless options and limit limits, you are an unlimited Universal Being. And I really like that one. Now. The third one is mkhaya. Now, if you are Hawaiian, or of Hawaiian descent, and you’re listening to me butchy butcher these words, I’m so sorry, I’m really doing my best as I learned this. But the third one is energy flows, where attention goes. And this is something that we talk about on this show all the time. So be like the waves, be like the waves of Hawaii and go with the flow. Wherever your energy is going, whether it’s on something really great in your life, or it’s on something really bad in your life, then that’s really where your energy is focused. So if you’re ever wondering, I wonder what my vibration is, or I wonder where my energy is going right now. It is going to wherever your attention is. So if you’re focused on all the crappy crap at work that you don’t like, that’s all your energy is going towards focusing on the crap. So I love this one because I feel like it gives you choice, right? You don’t have to focus on the crap. You can choose to focus your attention on something Else. Now the fourth one is Manawa, which is now is the moment of power, which this is amazing because this is really like being in the moment, right? living your life while the sun is still shining. So the past is the past, and the future might have really amazing lessons for you. But really who you are, right, this moment is only this person right this moment. So you’re not the past, you’re not the future, you are the right now. Number five is Aloha. I know I said that one, right, Aloha. And this word, I could do a whole podcast on this word, because this word is really got a lot of power. And I and I love it. But it means to love is to be happy with. So

it is really one of the most popular terms that we hear from

the Hawaiian language. But it literally means that when you love, you become happy with something or someone. So there’s this powerful connection between love and happiness. And it’s really impossible for you to be able to live like a passionate full life, and not experience a deep sense of happiness. And you can’t experience a deep sense of happiness, and not feel like you’re not living this deep, whole life. So choosing love choosing happiness. The six hoonah principle is mana, which is all power comes from within. Now, this one is really important when we get into the whole Pono Pono principles and how to actually actively use it in your life. So the idea is that, to change your external world, you need to change your internal world. So all of the powerful, powerful, everything in the universe actually comes from inside you. And number seven is Pono. Which means effectiveness is the mother measure of truth. This is the idea that you have a lot of power that you may not even know about or understand. But you can open your mind to something different when you can see the effectiveness. So instead of going oh my god, that would never work, try it, see if it’s effective. And that is your measure of truth. And then it becomes like a much more fulfilling experience to try things. Instead of deciding before you even do it. If this is something that works or doesn’t work. So whether you succeed or fail is secondary to the excitement of learning and actually finding out the truth. So Alright, so those are the main seven principles of hoonah. And it is from hoonah that we get the whole Pono Pono. Now, like I was saying, Morna is the one that brought whole Pono Pono to like the regular world and wanted to share this. And historically, whole Pono Pono needed a facilitator. So there was somebody that was a Kahuna that sat down and there was a ceremony that you went through in order to actually, you know, put hope on opponent into place when there was something negative happening or some sort of conflict happening within the community. All right. So that’s the background. That’s the backdrop for what we’re going to learn and how

we’re going to actually learn how to use

oponopono to see if it can actually help you. So here’s one of the first stories that I heard about her Pono Pono where I thought like, okay, I really

want to learn about this because this

sounds fascinating. And it is a story about a man named Dr. Len. And he worked in Hawaii at a state mental hospital for four years. And it was the kind of mental hospital for the criminally insane. And the hospital was in an upheaval. And Dr. Lu is still alive. I think he’s in his 90s. But at the time that that hospital was in an upheaval, it was just very turbulent. The people that were patients there, were sort of running amok. It sounds to me from the stories that I heard that it was kind of a scary place to be it was a scary place to work. And people often quit or they had a really like huge turnover, not just of staff, but of people just calling in sick a lot or trying to avoid coming in. And they even had a huge turnover with the psychologists that worked there. And so when Dr. Lu was hired, he was hired to come in and start to change the atmosphere and get control of the mental hospital. And it he noticed that when he got there, it was so bad that the people that work there in the staff would have walk with their backs against the wall as they walked because they were fearful of being attacked or being jumped by the patients there. So that gives you a picture. It was really kind of a scary place to be. So what Dr. Len did was he worked and he had an office he agreed to have an office at the hospital. He never saw a patient. So what he did was he took the patient files. And he did whole Pono Pono on himself on every single patient file. And after a few months, the patient started to relax. And they noticed that the patients were behaving differently. And were some of them may have had to be in shackles before they were allowed to start to walk free. And the staff turnover lessons people were actually coming to work and not calling in. And eventually the staff turnover disappeared completely where patients were being released. They were being healed and released, and they had too much staff. So it was like the opposite problem was true. And when he was interviewed, and they asked, What did you do, the hospital was eventually closed, everybody was released, and there was no need for it anymore. This is a true story. So this isn’t like some like lore folklore. So the the hospital was actually closed, and they asked him, What did he do? And he said, This is his quote, I was simply healing the part of me that created them. So when I heard this, I was like, Okay, wait. So this means that everything that you see in your life is an extension of you. Now, this is going to be a really hard, I’m assuming this is going to be sort of a hard thing to grasp. Because for me, this is a hard thing to grasp. And I don’t fully grasp it in every area with everything. Because what this means is that everything, the economy, you know who the President is any terrorist activity, anything bad happening in your neighborhood, and a break ins, any any of that is actually happening inside of you. And that’s what you’re projecting out. So in a weird way, I feel like it’s like the matrix like we’re in the pod. And we’re just like creating this environment. But this is the way the whole Pono Pono is set up. And this is the way it’s intended to heal.

So for me, this is really hard to grasp. But

please, because for me, it feels better to blame. A lot of what’s happening in the world on what’s happening in the world, like that has nothing to do with me, right? Like that’s not that, like the president getting like that didn’t have anything to do with me or a terrorist activity certainly doesn’t have anything to do with me. But with whole Pono Pono it says that it absolutely does, that it’s happening inside of you. And that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself. And as you improve yourself, you improve the world. So there is no out there. There’s only in here. All right. So I’m going to tell you how I used this in my life. And I will tell you that I struggle with the idea that like I have created terrorist activity in my mind. And it’s only in my mind like that I struggle with Okay, so I’m going to tell you like a practical example of how I used this, and I’m going to explain to you how to use a Pono Pono. Okay, so, and I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but when I was in high school, my mom died in a car accident. And my mom’s been gone now for 30 years. And my dad got remarried, like, they were married when she died, he got married, like probably like a year and a half after I would say something like that. So that was my junior year, he got married the very beginning of my

freshman year of college.

And in my mind, again, my dad did not do anything wrong, like he didn’t, you know, kick me out of the house or exclude me from something or, like, mean to me, but didn’t beat me like none of that. So I’m not as I’m talking, I want you to know that I’m not like, like blaming my dad for doing something awful. But in my mind, I felt like he should have behaved differently and treated me differently because my mom had died. So in my mind, I thought I should have gotten more support, I should have gotten more help. I should have had more emotional support, you know, all of these things, right? So in my head, I created that I didn’t get what I needed. And so I for probably 28 years, grieved that intensely. And so I feel like as I look back on my life, and you probably have these things, too. I tried to overcompensate like within achievement and a lot of ways. And I tried to overcompensate with lots of things. But when I found a Pono Pono, and over the past, like two years, I’ve done a lot of things to heal, not just that relationship with my dad, which again has very little if nothing to do with my dad, I actually believe that it has to do with my internal representations and how I was seeing things. And for me to be able to finally like truly grieve the fact that my mom transitioned which now I see totally different than I used to, but that would be a different podcast. So here’s one of the things and I did lots and lots of things, but one of the things I did was this whole Pono Pono and What you actually do is, and this is how I do it again, the Kuhn has did this in a ceremony, right? So they would bring people together or bring someone up that was struggling or had a problem. So what I did was I sort of created my own ceremony, I would typically do it like around the time that I would meditate. And I would try to just get really, really comfortable and open. And I’m a big fan of Archangel Michael. And so I would call Archangel Michael in to just help guide me. And I would always say, please help me see things in a different way. Those words, those words are not part of her Pono Pono. But those words are what I use with Archangel Michael. And those words have profoundly impacted me and helped me see numerous things differently in my life and helped me make the big shifts emotionally and, like real in real life. Okay, so I get in this process where I fell in a hypnotic sort of meditative state, I would ask Archangel Michael down and help me to see things differently. And then I would repeat the phrases of hope, oh, no. Pono, which are, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you, I love you. Now, these phrases together, ignite, sort of a self transformation process. And I want to explain to you what they’re supposed to mean, and sort of how this works. So the I’m sorry, is, um, so you’re again, it’s all internal, right? So it’s saying to myself, and I’m going to use the example I just used with my dad, right? So I’m sorry that I

put these strict restraints on how people were supposed to act around me, I’m sorry, I didn’t know better than to release that and to see things a different way. And then I say, Please forgive me. And I’m saying it to myself, please forgive me for not being wise enough to know, when I was 17. What I know now that I’m 46, right, so please forgive me. And then I say thank you. I love you. Now, Dr. Len, he did these he did the mostly the I love you. Thank you, those are the most powerful phrases. Those are the powers of love and gratitude. And those, I mean unquestionable in every self empowerment, teaching, or school or religion, those are the phrases that are transformational. Now, whoa, Pono Pono. Again, we talked about what that means with the hope Whoa, whoa, and then the Pono. But when in Hawaiian, the words are repeated, like whoa, Pono Pono, it is magnified. So it’s really magnifying this whole view that there is perfection and clarity and creation. So whole Pono Pono is a magnification that I am clarity, and all of these things. So going through this, these are the four phrases. I’m sorry, please forgive me. Thank you, I love you. And so as I would do it, I would breathe. So I would simply Breathe in. I’m sorry, breathe out, please forgive me, breathe in. Thank you, breathe out, I love you. And as you continue to do that, you will start to feel a sense of calm and a sense of peace. And you just simply repeat the phrases just like a mantra, and then the cleaning process will start to happen. So you may clean life situations, you know, places relationships, financial situations, when something comes to your awareness, you accept 100 responsibility 100% responsibility for that, and you repeat the cleansing process. So there’s no, like, there’s no hanging on to guilt for it. There’s no judgments, you just clean. And the process happens. So I told you with the process with my dad, or the situation with my dad, which was really a situation about me and how I was seeing things. I actually remember the moment that this shifted for me. It felt like a miracle, where I was having a conversation with Archangel Michael. And I said, help me see this in a different way. And I got, I am sorry, please forgive me, and it was gone. Now, I had been doing this about this thing for some time for months and months and months. But remember, this is something I hung on to for 28 years. But when it left me, it was the most bizarre and impactful feeling that maybe I’ve ever felt in my life. And so I want this for you too. And so I’ll just ask you, like, Are you willing to just try something different? Remember one of the

hoonah principles is that I will believe after I experiment right I will try it Then I will see if it is real for me. And so you might kind of be thinking like, how could this possibly work? How can you really heal yourself? And how can you heal other people by doing this? Like, how is that even possible? Right? So remember, all you have to do is worry about yourself. All you have to worry from a practical standpoint, you can only change yourself, right? So only worry about yourself, and get to a place where you have forgiving yourself where you say, I’m sorry, I’m responsible for everything that’s happening in my mind. And I’m sorry, that I didn’t see things differently. I’m sorry. And see it with like, deep, honest feeling, right? And then when I got to the Forgive me, I did not get hung up on who I was asking forgiveness, right. So it is all about yourself. So it is like forgive, but I didn’t. Because in my mind, I wanted to say like, Well, my dad wronged me, which remember, this is all in my head. Right? It’s my story that I told myself. So I wanted in the beginning, I wanted forgive, I wanted somebody to say please forgive me, right? But when I got to the point where I could just say, Please forgive me, it didn’t matter to me who I just wanted the forgiveness. So I didn’t care where forgiveness came from. I just wanted forgiveness. And then I love you I think is super powerful. You know, regardless, the Thank you, I love you. And really you’re saying thank you that Thank you. And I will I felt like I was saying thank you to the universe for helping me see things differently. Thank you to myself for being open enough to try this. Like it became less about what the words meant. And more about the feeling that they held. So that my friends is hope. Oh no. Pono Please forgive me. I’m so sorry. I love you. Thank you. Try it for yourself. See if it can impact you or something maybe you’ve been struggling with because you know what? You deserve to live a big life. Thanks so much for listening. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. And, as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.