In today’s episode, Betsy responds to emails about last weeks episode on grief and shares more her experience with energy, with our loved ones and the signs you may be missing!
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You’re listening to Episode 173 of The Art of Living big. Today’s episode is a little bit of an expansion on last week. Last week, I talked about grief. And if you listened into that episode, you know that it was not an episode I had planned to do or even really wanted to do. But it was definitely needed because I received so many emails and messages from you guys. So many of those messages asked for further clarification or had a couple questions.
And so on today’s episode, instead of replying back individually, really expanding on those things, I did try to respond back to everyone. So hopefully you got my message. But I instead of expanding on all of those things, I just thought it would be easier to do an episode about it, and really about the energy that I was talking about in last week’s episode.
So if you haven’t listened to last week, I think it really will make more sense. If you go back and listen to the episode on grief. I talked about grief, I talked about spirit. And I think that that might help set this whole episode up just a little bit better for you so that you really understand what it is that I’m talking about. Now that I’ve said that this is a little bit
not an uncomfortable podcast for me, because I don’t feel uncomfortable. But it is a level of exposure. It’s not things that I normally share with people. And so if you work with me in the rise group coaching program, then you probably already know you know me better than than everybody else. But you’ve experienced a little bit of the energy stuff that we can do together. So when I talk about it in this episode, just not something that I usually share.
So I appreciate you just remaining open and open to the way that I experience life and the way that I choose to share it with you guys all here today. So thanks so much for listening, I want to do one quick thing, before we go. I want to invite you to the so two quick things I want to invite you did the Facebook group. So if you haven’t joined our community, it’s a cool little community. And if you listen to this show, you’re part of that tribe.
So jump on over, you can actually just type right in your URL, just type the art of living big.com. And that will forward you right to the Facebook group. So join us there. The second thing is, if you are stuck or struggling, and you’re not really sure what to do next, or how to become unstuck, I did a free training on this. And it is really how to, you know make a crisis in your life into the greatest transformation. And it is five steps. So it’s really pretty easy.
It’s about a 45 minute training that’s free for you. If you go to my website, Betsy pake.com. You’ll see it right there at the top and you can go to that free training. I hope that that serves you. So now let’s go to the show. Wait, before we go to the show, you’re going to notice that what comes next sounds a little bit different.
I bought a new computer y’all and it won’t open the old file will not open. So welcome to the new little intro for the art of living big you know we make do we keep moving forward? Here we go. Welcome to the heart of living big. I’m your host Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert in recoating, your subconscious, this podcast is designed to help you redefine your life, your possibilities and your belief around the energy that supports us. Now,
let’s go live. Good morning, fellow adventurers. Welcome to today’s show. So today’s show is gonna be like sort of a part two on last week’s show. So here’s the thing, you can listen to this show without listening to last week’s show. But it might make more sense. Because what I really want to talk about today is like the energy side of stuff. And here’s why I didn’t expect to do this. In fact, last week, if you listen to last week’s episode, it was on grief, right?
And as I started talking, you may even hear me when I say okay, so I guess I have to tell the story about my own grief. I like legit didn’t realize I was going to be telling my own story on that show until I got to that point, when in the recording when I was like, Oh, dang, we’re about to tell the whole thing.
So if you listened, I want to thank everybody for their messages I got so I woke up that next morning with like emails, like everybody messaging me, it was just so sweet. And you all were so kind and here’s the thing, it resonated so much with people because we all experienced this right? We are not alone.
We are never alone in our grief. Everybody is going through some version in some stage of it and nobody’s stages the same, right? And so whatever really wanted to talk about today was answering some questions that I got. And I got a lot of questions. Well, I did get a few questions asking really nicely politely about my sister and what happened. Because if you listen to that episode, she was in the accident, and then also asking me more stuff about the energy side and like, like, specifically what I thought.
So this episode, I’m going to answer those questions. And again, this is an episode about what I believe it doesn’t mean you have to believe it. And if you believe really strongly, something different, like that is so totally okay with me, so, but I’m just sharing you with you what I believe in the conclusions that I have come to right over the course of my life and experiencing the things that I have. S
o one thing that really helps me, when I see somebody that thinks a whole lot different from me, like no matter what it is, like, whether it’s about this kind of stuff, spiritual stuff, it’s about religion, or politics, or eating, or whatever it is, I think to myself, if I were them, and I lived their life, and I had every experience that they had, I would probably think the same way. Right? It relieves me somehow. So anyway, I share that with you in case it can relieve you, too. Okay.
So, first, thank you for the emails. Second, I’m going to give you an update on what happened with my sister. So you guys heard the story. And I told the story about how my mom and my sister took off for that hockey game. So you might be wondering how many of you were in you emailed me about my sister. So my sister obviously was in the accident with my mother.
And I will tell you that she was injured, she broke her jaw. And she had really beautiful teeth. And all of her teeth were sort of I don’t think she lost teeth. But they were all pushed to one side. So they were both wearing seatbelts. What else can I tell you about that? We when we got to New York, she was there, obviously. And we brought her back to Vermont.
And she was in the hospital for several weeks in Vermont, and had surgeries for many years, and in fact, still has surgeries now because she has to get a lot of reconstruction done. And like some of the work she has done, like it only lasts like 25 years or something. So she’s had to go back and have more stuff done. So. But she was she was alive.
And you know, I often thought even way back then even like as a 16 year old, I had the awareness that and this is gonna sound sort of strange. But if you were me, maybe you would feel the same way. But I always felt a sort of a sense of relief, that she didn’t die. Because if it had been the other way around, like if my mother had had had had lived and my sister had died, I think my mother would have died too. Does that make sense?
So I would have lost them both. So I always felt like my mom never would have been the same like it. So I because that may sound like a really weird thing to say. But I just remember assessing the situation and being like, out of this awfulness. That’s a good thing in it, if that makes sense. So, I my sister lives in Seattle now and she’s happy and healthy and all the things.
So. Okay, so the next part A lot of people had questions about was like the energy stuff like how do I experience that? And like, you know, in the episode, I talked about how I experienced it in that moment. But then how do I experience that now. So like, in that moment, I knew something had happened, but I didn’t know what right.
And so I wanted to talk, I kind of divide this in my head into three different energy buckets, like three different ways that I experience them now. And so I’m going to try to explain that each bucket in the best way that I can. So the first way is, you know, anytime we’re doing meditation, or we’re like, sometimes I use the word meditation, I’m not talking about doing a guided meditation, like I’m not talking about listening necessarily to a self hypnosis or like a guided thing I’m talking about, like I would, would sit down and turn on like my sound machine. So I had some kind of sound, and just be quiet.
Now. There was a time in my life when I would do this for several hours at a time. So two, two and a half hours was sort of normal. I don’t do that anymore. I would like to, I probably need to, but now, what I really try to do is I try to have like 15 minutes in the morning where I do that, but I also just try to get silent at different times of the day. Day. So this may be a way if you’re not meditating that you can start to incorporate it into your life.
So what I do literally is like, I’ll take a big deep, I’m at my desk, right? Take a big deep breath. And then I just settled down. And I just get really quiet. And I can almost feel it. This is how it shows up for me, I know you can hear your own voice, right. So I feel like I’m up a little bit higher, like I can hear my own voice.
When I kind of toggle down, it’s almost like I get down. So this is how I’m imagining it right now. Almost like I’m going underground or underwater. And to the left hand side, I feel a rectangle, tube. So it is a rectangle. But it’s long and a tube and I hear the voice start to come through that. And then it does get louder, but it’s always
it never sounds like me, it always comes from this underwater kind of underground thing. And when it leaves, it goes back through the tube, so I can hear it getting smaller and through the tube. So that’s sort of how I experience it. And so I really do that I just take a big deep breath. And then I listen.
And I just think really like what is it I need to know, like, what is it I need to hear. And I can feel a difference. Like I will just know, I just will know that. Oh, that’s my mom. Or I’ll know that’s my grandmother. I have felt my grandfather before, which was really interesting, because I never met him my mom’s mom. But without a doubt, I felt that I knew that was him. That’s only been like a couple times. Oddly, I have felt
when I was this sort of odd.
There was a there’s somebody in my past that passed away that I did not really know. But when I was a kid, they passed away, and sometimes they come. And so that’s always interesting. Now, here’s the thing I have to say about that. I’m not spending all my time listening to, to spirit, I I will listen for my mom, I’ll listen for my grandmother.
For me personally, this is just me personally, I don’t find as much value. like trying, I don’t consciously sit down trying to speak to people that have passed, that’s not my thing at all. At some people that is their thing. And that’s totally cool. But that’s not where I feel alignment, I feel alignment, connecting to, to living people.
And so oddly, it sort of happens in the same way when I’m on my coaching calls where I’ll feel all of a sudden, like I’ve gone underwater, but it comes from the right hand side. And so it’s a rectangle tube that comes from the right hand side. And sometimes it is just my I’ll be talking to my clients and I will feel the answers to things. So if they are stuck on something, I can say like, Well, what about this? Or was it at this time?
And then they’ll go Yeah, that was it. So again, it is more of a feeling than like a actual sound. It’s not like I hear something outside of my brain. But it’s more like I can feel the words and know the words. So anyway, that is the first bucket. That is sort of how I do it. So I just, I just relax. And then I just listen and see what comes to me.
So I believe that I do believe that my mom or my grandmother can come to me. Absolutely. I do believe that we can connect to the living, I do believe that we’re all on a collective consciousness and we can connect in that way. So somebody I could connect with somebody that’s not right here with me, right?
So I could have that where I send them messages or, like I do believe this. My mentor, Laura de has taught me a lot about doing this sort of work and feels really aligned and simple. For me. I feel like it was something even as a little kid that I was able to just kind of know things about people, you probably have been like that too, right? Where you just kind of know stuff, but you don’t really know why. And so that’s really all it is.
So just being able to have like a heightened sense of awareness. And like I said, and I’ll say it again, everybody can do this. This isn’t some special thing. But I think I’ve practiced it, right. So that might be why I can articulate what it is. But you might just be doing it. You know, if you’re in a meeting with somebody, and you just get like you just know what people are thinking even though they’re not saying anything, right? I think that’s the thing, right?
So you’ve sort of toggled down into this like thing and you can get the vibe for what people are thinking. So anyway, I think that it’s for me, it’s more constructive to be doing that with the living right because then we can build relationships and create amazing experiences for people and Like help people on their journey and all of those things, but I also can go to the left and listen in for my mom or my grandmother, or just spirit right to come to me and tell me things.
Now when I hear spirit, I will say it feels it is more on my left, but it feels higher up, it doesn’t feel like under the ocean, it feels more like from the sides coming in like a funnel. So I thought I’d share that weirdness with you. That’s just how it feels to me. Okay, so the second bucket of how I feel like I can access this energy or feel this energy is when I feel like I’m being tugged towards something. So, um, so I’m going to share a couple examples.
So, um, okay, so a couple years ago, my grandmother’s birthday was in June, and a couple years ago, I might have been last year last June. I mean, I could not stop thinking about my grandmother to the point where it was irritating, like, I would try to do something else. And I kept thinking about her. And I felt like I could hear her almost like, in the back of my head, like talking to me, like, saying stuff to me.
And I got, honestly, it was like a little bit where I even said something to my husband, I think like, I don’t I keep thinking about my grandmother, like is driving me insane. Like I have stuff I need to do. And all of the sudden I was like, wait a minute, when’s her birthday? And so I when I had this book, my grandmother and I were really close, and I had her fill out this book. That was like one of those, like, you fill out your life, you know, for your grandkids or your kids or whatever.
And so I had had, I had given her a book and asked her to fill it out for me. And she did. And so I was like, I know, she wrote, like, stuff like she wrote a birthdate in there. Right. So I know her birthday was June but like to know the exact year and everything. So I went back and it was about to be her. What would have been her hundredth birthday.
Now she died when she was like maybe 82. And so, um, but I was like, Oh my God, that’s it. Like, I truly felt like she wants me to remember this would have been her 80th birthday. She loved a party. She loved to be celebrated. And I was like, I gotta write something on Facebook about Oh, it was this woman’s birthday.
Like, I know that sounds so weird. But the moment I did that, it stopped. The moment I recognize that it stopped. And so I did, I wrote a post and celebrated her on her birthday. And, you know, she was a remarkable woman. And I was happy to do that. But I truly feel like she just wanted to be remembered in that.
So that’s one thing. I have had several really, really, really vivid dreams. And I’ve shared some of those on the podcast. I don’t remember what episode was now. But I shared about the eel dream. If you are a longtime listener, you might remember that but that was insanely real. It was before people started talking about like going to happen.
And when I have read some of those books about people going to heaven. And coming back, they talk about the the colors and the feeling of things. And that’s exactly how those dreams have been. So like where I cannot even explain the beautiful colors. It’s It’s unbelievable. And again, now that I’m saying this out loud, it was a story that my grandmother and my mom were eels.
And it was so profound that I still almost cry when I think about it was incredible. And I know that I met them I know I went to heaven, but it was underwater. So remember what I just said about how when I hear them, it feels like it’s underwater. Same thing. So it’s that when I was underwater, so that hadn’t occurred to me soldiers now.
Once I okay, so when I was growing up my mom, her father had passed away when she was 18. And every year she would cry on the anniversary and talk about it. And I remember being a little kid and being like, I just wanted her to stop. Like I just felt like I knew she was sad, but like I’d heard the story so much I wanted her to stop.
And it’s interesting because I have asked my daughter, when I’ve started crying about my mom, do you just want me to stop like do you hate it that I do this? And she said yeah, I just feel like I hear the same story all the time. And so I always say to her you being because I always felt with my mom, I there was nothing I could do. Like I think that was part of it. I wanted my mom back right being a normal mom, not a crying mom. And I there was nothing I could do.
So I always say to my daughter now you just being here is helping me you being alive made it better. Right? So she feels like she’s got like, it’s okay that I’m doing that because she is helping by being alive and being here with me. So um, but every year my mom would tell the story and she would say about how everybody came to the house and that she cooked eggs and bacon.
And she said I cooked and cooked and cooked and cooked. And I don’t know maybe like two years ago, I woke up I was like, I have to cook bacon. I got up at like, I mean, it was bizarre. I got up at like, 530 in the morning and I started cooking bacon. We had like two packages of bacon. I cooked every single thing of bacon. My husband woke up and he was like, What? What’s happening? And I was like, I don’t know, I
have to cook all this bacon.
Because like, oh, like I just, I, it was like a compulsion. He’s like, what are you gonna do with it? I was like, I don’t know, like, I guess we’re gonna eat blts for like a week, and just had to cook it all. And it was like later that afternoon when I was like, wait a minute, when did my grandfather die? And it was that day. It was that day, that anniversary of that.
And so I totally feel like that there was something cosmic. So I put that in the same bucket. Right? Same spiritual bucket. When my grandmother died, I was in Vermont, I had gone to Vermont, because we knew she was going to die. And I had gone out to eat with my dad and my sister to like, get a break from the hospital.
And the place we went to eat was like, sort of in this. It was called the it’s called the mill. But it was like this mall, sort of like old it was an old brick building, like used to be like a warehouse anyway, we were on the stairs, walking up the stairs to the restaurant. And I just had a feeling and I was like, Oh, she just died. Like I just knew she just died. And then we sat down to eat and we ordered and then they brought the phone over and said, you have a phone call that must have been before cell phones. Yeah. So they said you have a phone call. And it was for my sister. And she took it and it was the hospital saying my grandmother had just died or my aunt or cousins or something had called. So anyway, those I put in those buckets, right? So those moments of just knowing.
And I think that what happens for most people is they push that away and go, I’m making that up. Or I’m just thinking in that right? Or that’s just a coincidence. I may have talked about this on the show before. But I have a girlfriend who is a medium. Now I knew her about 10 years before. I knew she was a medium. She only told me a few years ago and she just always had a really good gut. She would say like, Well, let me see my gut says. And so sometimes I would be like, Can you check your gut on this?
So she always just has the best things I’m she had does not tell people that she’s a medium, which is why I did not know. But her whole family knows. And they have known her whole life. And she has told me before. I’m trying to get her to come on the show, by the way to step out of the shadows. But she has told me before Betsy, there are no coincidences, you think these things are coincidences, but they’re not. It’s absolutely, like Spirit working to support you.
And, you know, to bring you like with this instance, I mean, I think to bring me a sense, something tangible. So I can say we are still connected. Here’s my proof. Right? So I think what happens is that a lot of people, probably not you guys, because you guys are a little more in tune with stuff. But I think a lot of people think, well, that can’t be your I’m making that up or like, there’s no way I knew that that must just just weird. But I think that we are always connected.
And I think that these little things show up, right? So we get it, we get an inkling, right, we get this idea. We get a thought or something comes into our awareness, like all of that stuff is just science to keep going. Which brings me to the third bucket. So the third bucket is really like science. So these is this isn’t like necessarily like a feeling that I’m having or like the idea I have to cook bacon. It is like things that happen where I go, oh my gosh, that’s so cool, right? These are like the cool little stories that I share more openly.
last, last year, the year before I went to a conference last year, I think it was I went to a conference. And it was like four days and it was like one of those ones. It was in Atlanta and I live in the suburbs, so I had to drive in. So I was like, it was like eight o’clock in the morning to seven o’clock at night. Like I was so pooped, and I got home on the very last day. And I remember I came upstairs and I like laid on the bed and I said to my daughter like oh my god, I’m so pooped.
Like, I feel like all the blood had been drained out of my body. You know what I mean? You know, when you’re just like, totally exhausted. And I said to her, I cannot believe I have to go grocery shopping now. It was a Sunday night and I was like, I gotta get ready for the week. And it’s like eight o’clock at night I had just driven from Atlanta. I was like, I am so tired.
And she laid on the couch with me are on the bed with me and said, I remember we were talking like kind of cuddling and I said, this is the times where I miss my mom. Because if my mom lived around the corner, I would call her and I would be like, get me what I need for tomorrow, you know, and we kind of joked about it and laughed about it.
And then we joked about how I had never texted her because we didn’t have cell phones, you know when she was alive. And so we kind of joked about that. And I was like oh my god. It was like the first time it came into my awareness that I had never texted her and that that was odd, right? So I was like, Oh my God. I’ve never texted. And so I said to all of go get my computer and bring it in here.
And let’s order delivery from instacart. I had never used a grocery delivery, but I was like maybe this is like the perfect time. So let’s sign up for instacart. And let’s get have them deliver groceries. So she brought it in, we placed the order and set it up so it would deliver. Now I have an Apple Watch and the Apple Watch, it’ll pop up on there. And I put this on my Instagram long ago, you could scroll back and see if you wanted, but I put it there’s the app shows up right. So when they start shopping for your groceries, it pops up and says they’re shopping for your groceries when they’re delivering, you know all of that.
So I placed my order didn’t think another thing about it. And then I got the little an announcement on my phone. And my mom’s name was Carol, by the way, I should share that. So go about my business. And all of a sudden I get the thing on my phone. You Carol is now shopping for your groceries. So Carol got a really big tip that week. I know that you might be thinking, Wow, that’s a really crazy coincidence, but I don’t think it is. I think that’s a sign.
So I see these signs everywhere. And I believe that we can see these signs all over the place. If we’re looking like all the time all the time. Um, you know, I, my grandmother had a cat named penny. And I think maybe I had found the cat or me My mom had found the cat. She showed up like a bad penny. This is what my grandmother used to say my grandmother was a big animal lover. And she had Penny up until she died. And I remember she had me bring penny to be put down and it was awful. And I think she knew she was gonna die. So she like wanted to make sure and the cat was really old. But she wanted to make sure that the cat was okay. And so
Penny was a thing,
you know. And so we had talked before she got sick, closer to like, when my mom had died, we had talked about signs, and if we thought you could find signs, see signs that, you know, your loved ones were still around. I don’t know, if she totally believed all that. But I think she believed that they were watching down on us, you know, but like, maybe in a little bit different way than I believe. Anyway, at that time, we talked about how will you give me a sign.
And I think she just was appeasing me. And she said yes, it’ll be a penny. Friends, I see Penny everywhere people show up in my life named penny that are here to help me, you know, like, therapists or, or sales people that I need. Or, you know, we just recently brought my dog to this ranch, you’ve heard me maybe talk about how I sent my dog to the ranch, guess who owns it, Penny. I was at a UGA game. And I was having a really hard time with my daughter at that time. It was my maybe two years ago. And that morning was really rough. But I made it with my husband to the UGA game.
And we got in there and they were like they do the the pet of the day, you know that they’re trying to help with the shelter. And the pen of the day was Penny, right. So those things you may go that’s a coincidence. That’s really cool coincidence, but I don’t I think it’s a nudge. I think it’s a moment of acknowledgement to say, I know you’ll recognize this.
So here I am. You know, you’re not alone. Keep going. I believe our loved ones send us these little signs all the time. There was a time where I was driving with my daughter in the car. And she had been telling me she felt like my mom was in her room. And I struggled with this because I was like I don’t know if I talk so much of the whoo that I have made her think that there’s like this, that my that my mom’s in her room.
Now, as I sit here, right now, in this moment, I’m like, of course my mom was watching over her but she felt like she could kind of see her. And she explained it to me at this light. And I was like, so we were in the car driving and we like to like get coffee and drive and I decided it was a good time to talk to her about that. And to just say that sometimes, you know, light comes in through our windows and can cast a cool, like light and you know, like just trying to I don’t know, I was I was just trying to
steer her wrong, right i guess is what it was I just felt like is this bad that I’m that she believes this? I don’t know why at that moment. But that’s what I started saying, you know, and so you know how your radio in the car will say the band and the name of the song. You know how it’ll say that on the radio when it plays so we were just listening to music and driving no particular just the radio, whatever. And I was started telling her this and she She looked at me and said, Really mom, and she pointed at the radio and the radio, the name of the band was all live, which is my daughter’s name, the name of the song was You are not alone.
So here I was trying to tell my kid
that she was
fabricating this in her subconscious mind, creating something that probably wasn’t their thinking, My mom was with her and on the radio says all of you are not alone. And she said, I think I’m just gonna believe what I believe in what I know. And I was like, that’s probably a good idea. I think you’re right. So these things come to us in our awareness. And I think that to deny it, is to deny ourselves is to deny that we ourselves are energy.
And if we do that, then I think it limits us in our life. I think it changes what you what you dare to create, because I dare to create much more, if I believe that I am supported. If I believe that I am like, if I believe that I am an infinite, infinite, right, there’s infinite possibilities, and I am here on an adventure. Like when I believe that that’s when things can really shift and grow for me and I feel like I can have this best big life that I want. So
I share with you
my little buckets of energy and how I feel like that comes to me.
I hope that that helps.
If you have other questions, you know, shoot me an email anytime you have a thought or something that you want to share. You can send an email to support at Betsy Pake COMM And I will try to address it on the show if not on an entire episode. Sometimes I do the mailbag episodes, right. So we can do a little bit more mailbag episodes if you guys would like those.
So anyway, I hope that that helps you on your journey. I hope it helps you think a little bit differently about where you might be supported and what might be really working in your favor all the time if you just take a look around. So thanks so much for listening. Thanks so much for daring to live your big life.
Thanks for listening to this episode of The Art of loving big hey if you share it with your friends tag me on social media you can find me everywhere at Betsy Pake and if you leave a review on iTunes, just screenshot the reveal and email it to us at support. At Betsy Pake calm and we will reply with a self hypnosis audio on shifting your beliefs. So thanks so much for listening and sharing. I love you and I will see you all soon.